Full Time Job!

WEBVTT

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Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love,

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endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight

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of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to

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which you were called when you made your good

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confession in the presence of many witnesses.

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welcome to our small group we call it bumper

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sticker wisdom I'm John I'm Terry our new that's

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our new thing it's a small small group so they

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can't say we're not doing a small group sorry

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my volume got off a little bit that's cuz you

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ribbon yes in my pocket we'll say a quick prayer

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and then we'll get started Heavenly Father, we

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want to thank you for everybody who's taking

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the time right now to listen to us, Father God.

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May you give us something that we can present

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to them that gives them some curiosity, some

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hope. Maybe they feel some love. Maybe they feel

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seen and included, Father God. We love you. We

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thank you for this call. And it's in Jesus' name

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we pray. Amen. Amen. So last week, we've had

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a couple of good weeks of conversations. You

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know, two weeks ago we replayed a a video of

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us having a real conversation at home. Well,

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it's funny because I keep telling them, yes,

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you have to listen. You're like, babe, they don't

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come out to next week. I'm like, oh, dang it.

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I think it's the one that's not. Yeah, you're

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right. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

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like, it's episode 133. Yeah. And they're like,

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that's not what I said. I'm sorry. I hear y 'all

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don't. I'm sorry. Yes. Yes. We're literally Okay,

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so if you think about it, it's two weeks out,

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right? So what we record today doesn't come out

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this Saturday, it comes out the Saturday after,

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right? So it's technically it's like 10 days

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out or 11 days out, 12 days out, something like

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that. So it does get a little bit confusing that

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way. It's hard because I'm not used to that because

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I'm always like, you know, yeah, you should go

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listen. I'm like, oh, yeah, no, you missed it.

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You missed it. Not yet. But so. Anyway, we've

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had a couple of good really good conversations

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two weeks ago It was you know, we talked through

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a video of us having a conversation about the

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weight of a tear and it how what that led into

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a lot of different things and then Last week,

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we really talked about the attack on relationships

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and there's a ton in that you can unpack And

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then at the end of the conversation we were already

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done. We had already you know cut We were just

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talking and I said something that seemed like

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a good thing to talk about and the main idea

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is it turns out that fighting is a full -time

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job it is a full -time job right meaning it's

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not it's not like every once in a while you're

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going to have a battle when you're in this christian

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life you might as well just already be prepared

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for war right it's it's it's part of the gig

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yeah And I don't know. It's not real easy to

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reconcile that in our minds to help us understand

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that. But there's a whole bunch of other things

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that come out of that. Right. Like a lot of questions

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come out of that. No. Number one. And a lot of

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thoughts that came through it. Right. Like I

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think we have this false sense of expectation

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when we join in the fight. Right. Like we think

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that. You know. as we grow in maturity with Christ

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in our relationship with Christ like the fighting

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will end. Right? No, this is this is the job

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you signed up for. Yeah. And so what are you

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looking at? My chapstick is really interesting.

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It's not interesting. I'm just I'm trying to

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think if I want to turn down my volume or not.

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But yeah. Sorry. If it's not I took my watch

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off. I think it's another. You're over here just

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like. Well, I'm just flipping it and it's annoying.

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I know. Sorry. I think it's another. Sorry. So

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anyway, it's it's going to the fight just doesn't

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end. No, it doesn't. Yeah. It's like I was at

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the bar the other day because I worked during

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the day on a Friday and I. I'm always talking

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about something, you know, my church or something,

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and I invited two people while I was there. They're

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like, oh my gosh, what church are you going to?

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So I told them what church I went to. And this

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one guy goes, well, I don't believe. And I said,

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I'm not asking you to believe or whatever. He

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goes, well, we believe that you don't have to

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go to church. I said, I'm with you. I said, I

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believe that you don't have to go to church to

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believe. But I'm just saying, do you believe

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in Jesus? He goes, yeah. I said, but I don't

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say you, I'm not saying you have to go to church.

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But I'm fighting for what I believe in. And he's

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like, no, I believe in that. You know, I'm like,

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OK, then just don't say that. Just say, I don't

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believe in. I don't have to believe to go to

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church. Right. I don't have to go to church to

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believe. And look, you're right. You don't. Yeah.

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You also don't have to go to school to cut somebody's

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chest open and work on their heart. Yeah. But

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it's probably not going to end well. Yeah. Where

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does this go? Where does that go? Right. That's

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how I view church now. Yeah. I didn't used to.

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Used to be very firm about this right like I

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was very firmly Opposed to the church and it

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Stems back to some church hurt and some things

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that I saw everybody gets hurt a hundred percent

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where people are involved Here church there anywhere.

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You're gonna get hurt no matter where you go.

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Yeah where people are involved There's probably

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gonna be a level of offense or hurt So I guess

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to It just We've been going to this church what

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eight years almost nine years now and so for

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me My viewpoint has changed yeah, right like

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yeah you can Walk your relationship out by yourself

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if you want to but God didn't design you that

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way We need to be fed, right? And we need to

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be mentored and we need to be counseled, right?

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And it's the first time in my life that I've

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ever truly been willing to, right? And a lot

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of that comes from being in relationship with

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a church for as long as we have, right? The person

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that was willing to reach out about struggle

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is motivated by the person who's been in church

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for eight years and and learned That I can't

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do this by myself. You know what I mean? I'm

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not equipped. You know what I mean? I'm Started

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behind in a lot of ways. So Yeah, I can I'm smart

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enough to Read the Bible and be in relationship

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with Christ and you can have a relationship with

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him that way You can be fully have faith in him

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in that way But you're not gonna get everything

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you need You have to have people around you that

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are pouring into you, right? You know what I

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mean? You have to have that you have to have

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people pouring into you because if you don't

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then it's like You're not gonna get full. You're

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not gonna be able to you know pour into others

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So you gotta get poured into so you can pour

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into others too, right? You know, that's that's

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good. You know I'm saying I Think over time the

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thing about fighting the good fight right and

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fighting The battle never really truly ending

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is like, you know, the the fight changes over

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time, right? Like when you first get in relationship,

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you know, you probably fight sin, right? So you're

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like you kind of fight the temptations and things

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like that. And then as you go, it becomes other

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things, right? Like maybe I don't struggle so

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much with that sin anymore. But now I got a new

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problem. Like my pride gets in way or or discouragement

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or like like where I'm at now. I'm facing. Scars

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that I've never really dealt with because I've

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always had someone else or something else to

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focus on right now I have to focus on me. It's

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a weird place to be in. You know what I'm saying?

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It's so like the fight changes it evolves it

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gets different over time and You know We have

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to decide that we want to be actively participating

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in this fight, right every single day. So our

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faith Our faith is not just something that's

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just there right You know what I mean? You actually

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have to live it out. You have to act it out.

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You have to walk through it. Does that make sense?

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Yes, yes. And I think that, you know, I think,

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again, going back to that conversation or that

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part of the conversation where it was like, you

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know, we kind of have this false expectation

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that we come into relationship with Christ and

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it's like, this is easy street. You know what

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I mean? I think it bears proving that we are

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meant to fight. Yeah. We are meant to be in a

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fight. Yeah. If we weren't, why would God design

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the full armor? Right? Absolutely. Amen. Yeah.

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So you got a helmet, you got a breastplate, you

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got a belt, you got feet, shoes, you got a shield,

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right? All those things are meant to defend you

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in a fight, right? Yeah. Right. And then there's

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the sword. There's the sword. Yeah. Right. You're

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meant to Use his word which is what the sword

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of the spirit is which is the word of God You're

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meant to use his word as a combat Assistant in

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the fight. So I guess the question is what are

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we fighting? the good fight Yeah, we're fighting

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the good fight, but what are we fighting? What's

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the thing that we're fighting? I Mean there's

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gonna be a lot of different things, you know,

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what are you fighting for, you know? I think

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the good fight is fighting for truth, right?

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And fighting for advancing his kingdom. And I

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think you're right, it actually looks different

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in different places. Yeah, I mean, everybody's

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in a different stage of life, seasons. So everybody

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could be dealing with certain things. Yeah, and

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one portion of your life... You know, like Jason's

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been on here talks very openly about his struggles

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with addiction Yeah, and then one phase of his

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life that was his fight. Yeah And then another

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phase of his life. It may it's something else

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and another phase of your life It's something

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else and that's the physical tangible thing that

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you're combating But the truth is none of those

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are what you're what we're fighting. Excellent.

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We're fighting Not against flesh and blood. Yes,

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but against ideals principalities. We're fighting

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the enemy the enemy Right and yeah I feel like

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this year, you know, I'm not going to say he's

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one because I'm telling you he is not winning,

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but he is done. He's he's he's trying to win.

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He's not winning. He is not. But he's just he's

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done a lot of damage this year for me to see

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in lots of not just my not me, but in lots of

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different people. And I want people to know that.

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Just got to be able to use God's word. Use God's

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Word to be able to fight the enemy. We have to

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use His Word. Get into your Bibles, guys, because

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we need to use it. Because the devil can put

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one word. He can just put just one word into

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your head and then he will make you believe that

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one word. That turns into a big old ball of yarn.

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Oh, yeah. It gets tangled up into all kinds of

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nastiness. The thing about the sword, the thing

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about the sword that is evidence to me, I think

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a lot of us as Christians get into this mode

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of thinking that we are meant to take the beating.

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Right? Yeah. You're actually supposed to fight

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back. Yes. Right. And now again, this is all

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metaphorical, right? Yeah. Look, if you don't

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know, we're fighting with words. Yes. Right.

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The words that are coming into our heads, the

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words that are coming out of our mouths. Right.

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And so that's why the sort of the spirit of God's

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word is so important. Right. Your Bible, it is

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important. And I think also, what does victory

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look like? I think we think that victory looks

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like advancement, like we're advancing, we're

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advancing, we're pushing forward, pushing the

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enemy back, right? So you think about a, you

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know, okay, so you're not, you don't like war

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movies, but you like medieval type of movies

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and stuff like that. And so imagine like Game

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of Thrones, right? You remember when Jon Snow

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goes out on the battlefield and all these dudes,

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he's out there by, he's, he's a man of, he's

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an army of one standing out there with this whole

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horde rushing at him. And then He doesn't realize

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that the people behind him are coming to fight

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with him, but you kind of, that's the image you

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get, right? And you feel like winning is pushing

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the enemy backward when really it's just standing

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firm. It is. If you really listen, look into

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God's word when he's talking about the full armor,

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he says, stand firm. Stand firm, not advance,

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not retreat. Firm, stay where you are. Yeah.

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It's just like, it's just like the, doesn't it

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mean when they went around the wall? They also

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was Jericho. Yeah, and he's turning firm around

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the wall and kept going and getting ready still,

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you know, that was firm They kept walking and

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walking finally, you know, that's a confidence,

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right? Yeah standing firm. Is it how do you get

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that? Where how do you get the ability to stand?

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Yeah, it's confidence It's knowing knowing that

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you're strong. Yeah on the word standing on the

00:14:12.779 --> 00:14:16.820
word Being there you're gonna see God's God play

00:14:16.820 --> 00:14:19.000
through it. You're going to see him in it. All

00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:21.759
the things he's going to play through, you know,

00:14:22.259 --> 00:14:25.100
and I think what we, what we start to recognize

00:14:25.100 --> 00:14:29.700
is that the enemy, he doesn't necessarily try

00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:32.019
to destroy you. He's not just here to destroy.

00:14:32.200 --> 00:14:35.360
He actually is trying to exhaust you, just wear

00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:38.100
you down. Right. So we keep like, if you, if

00:14:38.100 --> 00:14:40.580
you know anything about boxing or any kind of

00:14:40.580 --> 00:14:46.629
a combat sport, um, boxing, Mixed martial arts.

00:14:47.049 --> 00:14:50.889
There's a thing about body shots Stamina every

00:14:50.889 --> 00:14:53.490
time you eat one to the body. It takes your stamina

00:14:53.490 --> 00:14:56.789
down, right? Your engine loses a little fuel

00:14:56.789 --> 00:15:00.269
Yeah, getting punched the face is brutal. Yeah,

00:15:00.370 --> 00:15:04.649
those body shots Linger. Yeah, you know what?

00:15:04.730 --> 00:15:07.970
I mean it drains the tank and so The enemy is

00:15:07.970 --> 00:15:10.940
constantly throwing body shots And you're like,

00:15:10.940 --> 00:15:13.799
oh eight thousand eight thousand eight thousand,

00:15:14.059 --> 00:15:16.259
but you still feel like you're good until eventually

00:15:16.259 --> 00:15:18.500
you're not good Yeah, you know what I mean? And

00:15:18.500 --> 00:15:20.759
then all he's truly trying to do is to try to

00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:23.500
divert you So I'm gonna wear you down to where

00:15:23.500 --> 00:15:25.919
you no longer feel like getting into his word.

00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:28.860
You no longer feel like praying You no longer

00:15:28.860 --> 00:15:31.940
feel like serving you no longer feel like you

00:15:31.940 --> 00:15:34.840
know what I'm saying. Just he's a master at that

00:15:34.840 --> 00:15:37.899
Oh, yeah wearing you down, right? I'm wearing

00:15:37.899 --> 00:15:43.029
you down, baby You know, it's it's truly Where

00:15:43.029 --> 00:15:46.370
we have to yeah be equipping ourselves with the

00:15:46.370 --> 00:15:50.470
armor. Absolutely, right and You know, it takes

00:15:50.470 --> 00:15:52.889
heart it takes it takes that's what I think church

00:15:52.889 --> 00:15:55.049
is about though, right like we were talking about

00:15:55.049 --> 00:15:58.350
it That's what I think church is about and the

00:15:58.350 --> 00:16:00.889
reason you need to be there It's like you can

00:16:00.889 --> 00:16:03.269
find some good people in church, right and you

00:16:03.269 --> 00:16:05.610
find some bad people too Oh, yeah, but just like

00:16:05.610 --> 00:16:08.720
I said, you've got to find the good ones There's

00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:10.679
gonna be bad ones. I'm not gonna say every church

00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:12.700
every church is like that. I'm sorry That's just

00:16:12.700 --> 00:16:14.740
people and it's just people you're gonna find

00:16:14.740 --> 00:16:16.539
bad ones. You're gonna find good ones. Yeah,

00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:23.759
that's anywhere you go. Yeah, I think that How

00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:26.620
do you equip yourself Right. How do we equip

00:16:26.620 --> 00:16:29.399
ourselves with the armor? How do we equip ourselves

00:16:29.399 --> 00:16:32.879
with the sword of the spirit, right? By learning

00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:34.820
by being in his word learning what those things

00:16:34.820 --> 00:16:37.600
are learning how to activate them Can you do

00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:40.960
it on your own? Sure. But you're only coming

00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:44.399
from one perspective. Yeah. Right. And so look,

00:16:44.419 --> 00:16:47.059
we are supposed to help each other. Yeah. Right.

00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:50.840
It says it's not good for man to be alone. Right.

00:16:51.480 --> 00:16:54.360
God's Word says that very early in the beginning,

00:16:54.360 --> 00:16:57.799
you know, with Adam and Eve. And so we're meant

00:16:57.799 --> 00:17:00.299
to share life with people. We're meant to share

00:17:00.299 --> 00:17:04.559
life. And you can know God's Word and still not

00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:07.529
know it. Absolutely, you can get one scripture

00:17:07.529 --> 00:17:11.309
and mean one a scripture. I mean one this year

00:17:11.309 --> 00:17:12.849
and the next year You can read the same thing.

00:17:12.869 --> 00:17:15.710
I mean something else next year. I mean, it's

00:17:15.710 --> 00:17:18.710
all about that season that you're in, you know,

00:17:18.750 --> 00:17:24.130
yep I think we get into the thought that Peace

00:17:24.130 --> 00:17:26.369
being at peace means that we're not ever we're

00:17:26.369 --> 00:17:28.529
not fighting. Absolutely, and I don't think that's

00:17:28.529 --> 00:17:32.670
true I think Peace doesn't mean the absence of

00:17:32.670 --> 00:17:36.759
conflict, right? I think peace means Calm in

00:17:36.759 --> 00:17:40.799
the storm calm in the conflict confidence understanding

00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:44.059
believing in him and understanding That we come

00:17:44.059 --> 00:17:46.619
from a position of victory. We're not fighting

00:17:46.619 --> 00:17:49.859
for victory We can't we can't win because it's

00:17:49.859 --> 00:17:52.180
already won. Yeah, and he can't win because it's

00:17:52.180 --> 00:17:54.039
already won Yeah, you know what? I mean the victory

00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:56.980
already belongs to Jesus. It's already been done

00:17:56.980 --> 00:17:59.539
It's just like what would you say the M on Sunday?

00:17:59.779 --> 00:18:03.640
You know, it's just like we want to like What

00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:13.059
did he say about? Resting yeah And it's like,

00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:16.420
you know letting him you know do it for us, you

00:18:16.420 --> 00:18:19.240
know, he's got it he knows what we've you know

00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:22.420
it's all about Getting there and then just like

00:18:22.420 --> 00:18:24.740
he's that he knows what I mean. We can just just

00:18:24.740 --> 00:18:27.880
follow work We can just be like a leash. Yeah,

00:18:27.900 --> 00:18:30.980
just just put me on a leash. I'll just follow

00:18:30.980 --> 00:18:35.690
you One thing that that he said that I that resonates

00:18:35.690 --> 00:18:42.069
is that he didn't say um rest doesn't mean he

00:18:42.069 --> 00:18:44.849
said rest doesn't mean no action right doesn't

00:18:44.849 --> 00:18:46.869
mean you're not doing anything right right right

00:18:46.869 --> 00:18:50.730
doesn't mean laziness no no absolutely not i

00:18:50.730 --> 00:18:54.049
mean but but just it's just like just like following

00:18:54.049 --> 00:18:57.869
in his steps like you know here we go just just

00:18:57.869 --> 00:19:00.869
following his steps as in and then here it is

00:19:00.869 --> 00:19:03.089
resting you know you've ever heard the saying

00:19:03.089 --> 00:19:07.839
rest assured No, rest assured means you can bet

00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:11.900
on it Oh, right. Yeah, so like rest assured I'm

00:19:11.900 --> 00:19:14.380
gonna blah blah blah rest assured they're gonna

00:19:14.380 --> 00:19:16.920
blah blah blah, right rest assured Okay. Yeah,

00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:20.779
so being assured is like a confidence. So if

00:19:20.779 --> 00:19:22.779
you're what you're what we're talking about there

00:19:22.779 --> 00:19:26.960
is Being rest assured that God's got you. Yeah,

00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:31.319
right You can rest because you are assured that

00:19:31.319 --> 00:19:34.680
he's got you, right? You're sure that he loves

00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:37.500
you. You're sure that he cares. You're sure that

00:19:37.500 --> 00:19:39.619
he's more concerned about you than he is the

00:19:39.619 --> 00:19:41.480
birds, but the birds get provided for. Why are

00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:43.519
you so concerned? He's providing for you if you

00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:47.259
just let him. Yeah. Now that doesn't mean look,

00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:50.119
the birds build nests too. Yeah. They provide,

00:19:50.500 --> 00:19:53.920
God provided the material, right? This doesn't

00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:57.480
mean don't do anything. Right. It means have

00:19:57.480 --> 00:20:00.890
confidence, trust. Trust in the Lord. It says

00:20:00.890 --> 00:20:02.930
trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean

00:20:02.930 --> 00:20:05.509
not on your own understanding, right? In all

00:20:05.509 --> 00:20:08.730
your ways submit to him and he will make your

00:20:08.730 --> 00:20:11.509
paths straight. You can't do that if you're not

00:20:11.509 --> 00:20:14.410
at rest. Absolutely. Not at rest meaning sleeping

00:20:14.410 --> 00:20:17.490
rest or laying on your butt or not doing anything.

00:20:18.190 --> 00:20:20.990
Rested in your confident hope and your faith

00:20:20.990 --> 00:20:26.809
in him. Absolutely. What are you fighting right

00:20:26.809 --> 00:20:28.809
now? What do you feel like you're what's attacking

00:20:28.809 --> 00:20:34.970
you? Me Come on man, let's get it. Let's get

00:20:34.970 --> 00:20:39.990
let's get honest I've been honest just like my

00:20:39.990 --> 00:20:43.930
next surgery and You're we're back on that now,

00:20:44.069 --> 00:20:48.069
so just giving over my things for people to do

00:20:48.069 --> 00:20:55.160
those things. Oh, I just had a given Things over

00:20:55.160 --> 00:20:59.880
to people I have a problem with that and Understand

00:20:59.880 --> 00:21:03.720
it Submitting to that that that's hard for me.

00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:06.039
And then maybe it's something that you have to

00:21:06.039 --> 00:21:10.240
experience though Think about it though exactly

00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:11.640
you've never done. It's just like what I was

00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:15.440
talking about about Like receiving compliments,

00:21:15.900 --> 00:21:17.759
right? Yeah, it's a very uncomfortable thing

00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:21.400
for me. I don't like it But I like it. Yeah,

00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:24.200
I mean, of course everybody likes to be complimented

00:21:24.089 --> 00:21:25.789
but I'm very uncomfortable with it. I don't know

00:21:25.789 --> 00:21:27.890
how to act. I don't know how to receive it, right?

00:21:28.230 --> 00:21:31.109
And just taking the small step of saying thank

00:21:31.109 --> 00:21:35.730
you, I receive that. You know what I mean? It's

00:21:35.730 --> 00:21:38.829
awkward, right? But maybe that's just the season

00:21:38.829 --> 00:21:41.710
of life you're in. You have to understand. Maybe

00:21:41.710 --> 00:21:45.470
this is how God's trying to tell you, hey, I

00:21:45.470 --> 00:21:47.549
know you love me, but you don't know how to submit

00:21:47.549 --> 00:21:50.049
to me. You don't know how to rest. You don't

00:21:50.049 --> 00:21:52.650
know how to quit. You don't know how to let me...

00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:54.980
take care of you. So I'm gonna do something to

00:21:54.980 --> 00:21:59.220
you where you got no choice. So yeah, that's

00:21:59.220 --> 00:22:01.519
that's probably what mine is. And then another

00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:10.319
one is to just taking the time for myself and

00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:14.299
learning how to say what how I feel sometimes

00:22:14.299 --> 00:22:16.599
sometimes I don't tell people I feel sometimes

00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:20.799
I just sometimes all the time. Come on, Terry.

00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:23.880
All the time. Oh, you, you already know. So I

00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:25.440
don't know what I'm telling you. You just don't.

00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:26.980
Well, OK, but the thing is, I don't have a book

00:22:26.980 --> 00:22:31.160
to you. You know what I mean? Just because I

00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:33.299
know doesn't mean I know. Right. I know that

00:22:33.299 --> 00:22:36.059
there's something, but I don't understand. Yeah.

00:22:36.299 --> 00:22:39.140
Right. And I can't I tell you, I get frustrated

00:22:39.140 --> 00:22:40.839
all the time when I'm like, look, I'm just trying

00:22:40.839 --> 00:22:42.799
to understand and you can't tell me anything.

00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:45.079
You won't tell me anything. Right. I don't. I'm

00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.509
just trying to understand. Right. What are we

00:22:48.509 --> 00:22:50.829
talking about a minute ago James says seek like

00:22:50.829 --> 00:22:53.650
yeah No, and it's not because I said I'm like

00:22:53.650 --> 00:22:56.470
I need to keep reading that I'm like keep speaking

00:22:56.470 --> 00:22:59.170
it over myself You know those things you know

00:22:59.170 --> 00:23:04.089
must be quick to listen Okay, so the thing is

00:23:04.089 --> 00:23:06.170
why be quick to listen You don't be quick to

00:23:06.170 --> 00:23:08.789
listen just so you can hear right you be quick

00:23:08.789 --> 00:23:11.769
to listen so you can understand right so you

00:23:11.769 --> 00:23:15.960
can calculate how to respond, right? And you

00:23:15.960 --> 00:23:20.160
don't give me that benefit. I'm not saying not

00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:23.200
ever, but a lot of the time, you don't give me

00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:27.039
that benefit or that opportunity. So it causes

00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:30.019
a little bit more tension for really no reason.

00:23:30.539 --> 00:23:32.640
You know what I mean? Because I am that person.

00:23:33.579 --> 00:23:37.019
I feel the tension in the room. I read it. It's

00:23:37.019 --> 00:23:39.200
like butter. I could put it on my bread and eat

00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:43.420
it. Did I say it like that? It's just like your

00:23:43.420 --> 00:23:47.240
face, and I'm like, ooh. I didn't mean it like

00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:51.240
that. Sorry. My face? My face. Sometimes I'm

00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:55.019
like, ooh. I just need that one little person

00:23:55.019 --> 00:23:58.900
on my shoulder to fix your face. Oh. If I start

00:23:58.900 --> 00:24:02.859
smiling, it's going to be more awkward. I'm a

00:24:02.859 --> 00:24:06.900
smiler, though, so you know. But yeah. But sometimes

00:24:06.900 --> 00:24:08.960
my words come out, and I'm just like, oh, I didn't

00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:10.940
mean it like that. But it came out that way.

00:24:11.019 --> 00:24:15.480
So, you identify the thing, right, right now

00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:17.460
that you're fighting, so you're having a problem

00:24:17.460 --> 00:24:24.539
with submission, so how do you fight? Learning

00:24:24.539 --> 00:24:29.660
to submit, just trusting that someone's gonna

00:24:29.660 --> 00:24:36.299
do it. You were gonna say do it right You were

00:24:36.299 --> 00:24:38.180
gonna say do it right that's exactly what you

00:24:38.180 --> 00:24:40.759
were gonna say, isn't it? Yes, it is. Oh, I got

00:24:40.759 --> 00:24:46.220
her got her on film on Film on camera digital

00:24:46.220 --> 00:24:51.779
film Caught you do it my way. Uh -huh. I know

00:24:51.779 --> 00:24:53.440
it's not gonna get done the right way. I know

00:24:53.440 --> 00:25:00.079
but What's the right way your way or is it y

00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:04.720
'all way I can't say that because it's, hey,

00:25:04.940 --> 00:25:08.480
it's like, I can't say it because, hey, it's

00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:13.000
getting done. What matters is done, you know?

00:25:13.259 --> 00:25:15.660
Like, that didn't, okay, it's done. It doesn't

00:25:15.660 --> 00:25:17.920
matter. I'm gonna break this down for you. I'm

00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:21.119
gonna be real clear with you. She is not worried

00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:23.000
about anybody else not doing it right. She's

00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:26.259
worried about me not doing it right. That's who

00:25:26.259 --> 00:25:30.160
she's talking about. It's nobody but me. Just

00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:31.680
like cameras had the other day. He goes now.

00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:34.440
I know you weed eater I said she because what's

00:25:34.440 --> 00:25:39.160
the she has a cuz she's temperamental She likes

00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:42.900
it a certain way he goes I know and she is she's

00:25:42.900 --> 00:25:45.319
she's just you know, you got to keep a trigger

00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:49.039
I Just I don't know what it is. It's just like,

00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:50.960
you know, he used her the other day and he was

00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:53.599
like, yep I got her now I got and I know how

00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:58.400
to do it now. Look, I understand But so the issue

00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:01.180
that I have with how you feel about that is what

00:26:01.180 --> 00:26:03.640
have I ever done to make you feel like I can't

00:26:03.640 --> 00:26:07.640
or won't, you know what I mean? Look, okay, just

00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:09.259
to kind of give a little bit of a backstory,

00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:12.339
when we very first started doing this, where

00:26:12.339 --> 00:26:15.619
we were mowing at Jaylee Milligan, when we very

00:26:15.619 --> 00:26:21.440
first started doing that, you didn't like the

00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:24.769
way I mowed, but you never said anything. Until

00:26:24.769 --> 00:26:26.910
until eventually you did and it's like, okay,

00:26:27.109 --> 00:26:31.470
hold on This is a business Technically right

00:26:31.470 --> 00:26:34.910
now. I'm your employee. I can't live up to an

00:26:34.910 --> 00:26:38.190
expectation that you don't set, right? Right.

00:26:38.289 --> 00:26:41.029
So if you refuse to set the expectations and

00:26:41.029 --> 00:26:43.230
you can't be upset that I didn't live up to it

00:26:43.230 --> 00:26:46.069
You're right. You're so right. That's why I was

00:26:46.069 --> 00:26:48.470
like it's too big for me to do is I'm like she

00:26:48.470 --> 00:26:52.049
used to She complained about my lines Like I

00:26:52.049 --> 00:26:54.519
didn't know straight But you never said that

00:26:54.519 --> 00:26:57.240
you never said who doesn't do straight lines

00:26:57.240 --> 00:27:01.539
terry. I Just I agree. I agree with you. I totally

00:27:01.539 --> 00:27:03.980
understand. I know I didn't mow my yard growing

00:27:03.980 --> 00:27:08.140
up I know I understand that you had to pick weeds

00:27:08.140 --> 00:27:11.359
I had yeah, we manually mowed it with our fingers

00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:13.819
and we we picked weeds too But I mean that was

00:27:13.819 --> 00:27:15.779
we enjoyed doing that so that was something that

00:27:15.779 --> 00:27:18.720
we enjoyed that was punishment To us. It was

00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:21.619
not punishment. It was given to me as a punishment.

00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:24.730
It wasn't Hey, we're out. Here's a family picking

00:27:24.730 --> 00:27:27.730
weeds No, it's take your ass out there by yourself

00:27:27.730 --> 00:27:30.690
in the dead heat of summer with no one around

00:27:30.690 --> 00:27:33.150
you by yourself and you pick those giant tree

00:27:33.150 --> 00:27:37.930
stalk weeds that poke and Give you blisters and

00:27:37.930 --> 00:27:42.609
cut you and they're stickers and yeah That what

00:27:42.609 --> 00:27:45.849
it was given to me as a punishment it wasn't

00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:47.500
My mom would have a little butter knife and she'd

00:27:47.500 --> 00:27:49.380
just go out. But see, that's an activity at that

00:27:49.380 --> 00:27:51.460
point. You're doing it together. There wasn't

00:27:51.460 --> 00:27:55.640
nobody out there with me. I was by myself. Get

00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:57.960
your ass out there and pick those weeds. I get

00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:01.079
it. I totally understand that. So yeah, punishment,

00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:04.460
not a reward. We would fight over the mower.

00:28:04.700 --> 00:28:06.559
Me and Kevin would fight over the mower in the

00:28:06.559 --> 00:28:08.519
yard. I don't even remember us owning a lawn

00:28:08.519 --> 00:28:11.619
mower. Sure we did, but I don't remember. Me

00:28:11.619 --> 00:28:14.309
and Kevin would fight over the mower. But me,

00:28:14.410 --> 00:28:17.369
like I said, I'm an edge person. Edging is easy.

00:28:17.630 --> 00:28:20.630
So easy. It's the weed eating that's bad because

00:28:20.630 --> 00:28:23.470
you have to catch just the top layer. You can't

00:28:23.470 --> 00:28:29.910
just go. OK, it's just. I know. I understand.

00:28:30.049 --> 00:28:32.730
Like, have I ever done this? No, but then it's

00:28:32.730 --> 00:28:34.869
like you can't get it and then you take you spend

00:28:34.869 --> 00:28:37.250
more time like restringing it and then pulling

00:28:37.250 --> 00:28:41.329
and restringing. And it's just. Yeah, it's OK.

00:28:41.720 --> 00:28:45.900
What are you scared of? I don't know. Time because

00:28:45.900 --> 00:28:49.740
you're not doing it. I know. Who cares? It's

00:28:49.740 --> 00:28:53.779
your time. It's my time. I know. I know. I know.

00:28:53.900 --> 00:28:55.880
Wow. She just hurt my feelings in front of seven

00:28:55.880 --> 00:29:00.819
billion people. I know. I'm so sorry. I know.

00:29:00.819 --> 00:29:03.299
I went to a conference one year and he scalped

00:29:03.299 --> 00:29:08.640
my yard on purpose, on purpose. It was terrible.

00:29:09.500 --> 00:29:12.400
It was time. Look how much better it looks ever

00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:18.039
since then. No. Yes. That's the yard. That has

00:29:18.039 --> 00:29:19.880
nothing to do with me scalping it. We don't scalp

00:29:19.880 --> 00:29:24.559
yards no more. That's old school. It works. Well,

00:29:24.660 --> 00:29:27.000
not all the time. We don't scalp yards no more.

00:29:27.900 --> 00:29:33.839
We just feed it, water it, feed me. Okay. Because

00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.980
you're the expert. That's the point. We don't

00:29:37.980 --> 00:29:41.500
scalp yarns no more. This looks terrible. It

00:29:41.500 --> 00:29:44.359
was winter time. It was dormant. It wasn't growing.

00:29:46.180 --> 00:29:50.299
That's what you're supposed to do. Oh, we don't

00:29:50.299 --> 00:29:55.640
do that. It comes back better next year. That's

00:29:55.640 --> 00:30:00.029
the point. No, we're not. We're staying right

00:30:00.029 --> 00:30:03.210
here until we solve this issue. We're fighting

00:30:03.210 --> 00:30:06.470
the good fight right now. We're not, we're just

00:30:06.470 --> 00:30:10.650
talking about mowing grass. Mowing grass can

00:30:10.650 --> 00:30:12.829
be a metaphor for other things too though. If

00:30:12.829 --> 00:30:15.529
you think about it, this is exactly what we're

00:30:15.529 --> 00:30:18.390
talking about, right? Like in order for me to,

00:30:18.410 --> 00:30:20.430
I have to be able to understand, but you won't

00:30:20.430 --> 00:30:22.490
even give me a reason why other than we just

00:30:22.490 --> 00:30:25.460
don't do that. That's not an answer. You just

00:30:25.460 --> 00:30:27.220
don't do that. It's just, it's not good for the

00:30:27.220 --> 00:30:29.279
grass. Yes, it is good for the grass. People

00:30:29.279 --> 00:30:32.839
have been doing it forever and it works. So why?

00:30:33.079 --> 00:30:35.339
Everybody else is not me. Okay. But you won't

00:30:35.339 --> 00:30:39.059
say why not you? Because I don't do that. Because

00:30:39.059 --> 00:30:41.740
you just think it's wrong. No, I don't like the

00:30:41.740 --> 00:30:45.519
way it looks. When you look at it, it just, it's

00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:47.259
like, it's like your babies and you cut their

00:30:47.259 --> 00:30:49.680
hair when they have lights. No, you just don't

00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:53.359
do that. You have to. We had boys. I didn't.

00:30:53.460 --> 00:30:58.529
So you just don't do that. You do do that. If

00:30:58.529 --> 00:31:01.329
you got, hey, desperate times call for desperate

00:31:01.329 --> 00:31:02.769
measures when it comes to that. That's okay.

00:31:03.230 --> 00:31:06.130
My kids have lot. They told me lice. They said

00:31:06.130 --> 00:31:11.390
use mayonnaise. No, it works. I don't care. I

00:31:11.390 --> 00:31:16.130
can do it. She said I'll shave their head. No,

00:31:16.190 --> 00:31:22.529
they got their hair picked out once. Anyway,

00:31:22.829 --> 00:31:26.019
I'm just saying. This is what we're talking about,

00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:28.319
right? Like, this is a fight, you submitting.

00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:31.019
But the reason you don't wanna submit is because

00:31:31.019 --> 00:31:32.579
you're worried that it's not gonna look like

00:31:32.579 --> 00:31:36.119
you think it should look, right? But it's kinda

00:31:36.119 --> 00:31:38.359
like what we were talking about earlier, just

00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:40.359
because you don't like it doesn't mean it's not

00:31:40.359 --> 00:31:44.500
true, right? Just because, you know what I mean?

00:31:44.619 --> 00:31:48.180
Just because you disagree doesn't make it a bad

00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:51.539
point. Just because you're offended doesn't mean

00:31:51.539 --> 00:31:54.339
still that it's not true. You know what I mean?

00:31:54.339 --> 00:31:56.980
So like it's just a flawed way of thinking is

00:31:56.980 --> 00:32:01.559
all I'm saying if you if you Don't want me to

00:32:01.559 --> 00:32:05.880
do something You have to express it Right. You

00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:09.140
can't just assume I know because I don't I know

00:32:09.140 --> 00:32:12.619
you very well But there's a lot of things you

00:32:12.619 --> 00:32:15.220
don't tell me until after the fact and then you're

00:32:15.220 --> 00:32:17.839
pissed at me Right, and I have to pay punishment

00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:21.519
like what happened over the weekend Right. What

00:32:21.519 --> 00:32:25.109
happened? literally I was trying to not be in

00:32:25.109 --> 00:32:26.950
conflict with you and I still ended up being

00:32:26.950 --> 00:32:30.089
in conflict with you clearly yes right I was

00:32:30.089 --> 00:32:32.349
just trying to tell you hey look I I can't explain

00:32:32.349 --> 00:32:34.289
it to you so like just drop it there's nothing

00:32:34.289 --> 00:32:38.849
to talk about like I couldn't explain it to you

00:32:38.849 --> 00:32:40.710
I said that I said I can't explain it to you

00:32:40.710 --> 00:32:43.450
I'll have to show you but I can't right now so

00:32:43.450 --> 00:32:46.410
just drop it right and then you took that to

00:32:46.410 --> 00:32:55.460
be I was being mean and I was like no The attack

00:32:55.460 --> 00:33:02.279
on relationships No It's just I'm just saying

00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:07.019
right like It can be misunderstood it can right

00:33:07.019 --> 00:33:11.799
and and We don't really fight all that much no,

00:33:11.799 --> 00:33:14.039
we talk on here like we fight all the time we

00:33:14.039 --> 00:33:17.940
really don't they don't But in order for to us

00:33:17.940 --> 00:33:20.960
to avoid some of the conflicts that we have we

00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:24.519
have to be able to communicate I Have no problem

00:33:24.519 --> 00:33:26.799
telling you how I feel. I have no problem telling

00:33:26.799 --> 00:33:31.500
you when you hurt me. Oh, I know None. I know

00:33:31.500 --> 00:33:35.759
I don't know why you do though. I don't know

00:33:38.259 --> 00:33:40.700
I just want to eat it. I guess I don't know sometimes.

00:33:40.700 --> 00:33:43.960
I will tell you how feel you it's my problem

00:33:43.960 --> 00:33:46.359
is I just don't want to go into conversation

00:33:46.359 --> 00:33:54.720
sometimes I just don't know. I'm like I don't

00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:59.700
know why I'm just Sometimes I don't yeah, well,

00:33:59.700 --> 00:34:02.140
I understand. I understand completely. I think

00:34:02.140 --> 00:34:05.920
that that's all of us But you know, we got to

00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:08.860
work through it. Yeah We can't just sit there

00:34:08.860 --> 00:34:11.019
and eat it and pretend like it's not a problem.

00:34:11.019 --> 00:34:13.320
Yeah, because then it festers and then it festers

00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:16.699
and that's not worth I I agree with you. I totally

00:34:16.699 --> 00:34:18.539
understand that that's how we end up in those

00:34:18.539 --> 00:34:20.739
situations. You know what I mean? And so because

00:34:20.739 --> 00:34:22.539
then we bring this back up and then we bring

00:34:22.539 --> 00:34:25.320
how about this one and how about this one? And

00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:27.860
I agree. Yeah, keeping our seats is a bad deuce.

00:34:27.860 --> 00:34:30.719
I know it's a bad idea. It really is. And you

00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:34.570
know, I said we all do it on some level. Yeah,

00:34:34.590 --> 00:34:36.530
we do. But just because you remember it doesn't

00:34:36.530 --> 00:34:39.889
mean you have to mention it. You know what I

00:34:39.889 --> 00:34:43.230
mean? Like I totally understand because you can

00:34:43.230 --> 00:34:45.010
only go off your past experience, right? We've

00:34:45.010 --> 00:34:49.429
talked about that before. Like so you come into

00:34:49.429 --> 00:34:51.329
new relationships with your old relationships

00:34:51.329 --> 00:34:54.090
in mind, right? That's why we struggle a lot

00:34:54.090 --> 00:34:57.909
with in the beginning with your past relationships

00:34:57.909 --> 00:35:00.010
sneaking into our current one. And I haven't

00:35:00.010 --> 00:35:02.469
even done all those things. But it's like you're

00:35:02.469 --> 00:35:05.840
kind of Projecting them on to you on to me and

00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:07.980
I'm projecting them on to you because of what

00:35:07.980 --> 00:35:10.380
we have experienced right now You can only go

00:35:10.380 --> 00:35:13.579
off of what you know, right? And so it doesn't

00:35:13.579 --> 00:35:16.079
that's not okay. That's why we have to communicate

00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:18.019
right, right? That's why we have to work through

00:35:18.019 --> 00:35:20.420
these things and be like, okay. Hey, you know

00:35:20.420 --> 00:35:24.400
what? Here's the thing. I didn't even know it

00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:26.980
bothered me until you did that or until you said

00:35:26.980 --> 00:35:31.530
that and it bothers me now and You know what

00:35:31.530 --> 00:35:33.449
I'm saying? Like, and you can't even identify

00:35:33.449 --> 00:35:36.449
a thing. There's a hundred and one of them. Yeah.

00:35:36.750 --> 00:35:40.130
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So like I've

00:35:40.130 --> 00:35:42.250
said a couple of times, like why am I currently

00:35:42.250 --> 00:35:44.349
in the position I'm in? It's because I'm not

00:35:44.349 --> 00:35:46.670
focusing on this. Like back when I back when

00:35:46.670 --> 00:35:49.230
I was dealing with all the things, all the traumatic

00:35:49.230 --> 00:35:51.769
things, I just had the next traumatic thing.

00:35:51.849 --> 00:35:53.730
Yeah. Well, now I don't have any of that. And

00:35:53.730 --> 00:35:56.809
so it's like, oh, now all these things are still

00:35:56.809 --> 00:35:59.659
here. I thought we were done with these. You

00:35:59.659 --> 00:36:02.940
know what I mean? That bag of skeletons, they're

00:36:02.940 --> 00:36:05.880
still here. I guess I tied them to my ankle and

00:36:05.880 --> 00:36:07.239
carried them with me everywhere I went and I

00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:12.219
didn't know it. So the fight looks different

00:36:12.219 --> 00:36:14.420
for everybody and I think that right now my fight

00:36:14.420 --> 00:36:22.340
is learning how to... I think what got me where

00:36:22.340 --> 00:36:27.590
I'm at or where I was, was overextending. Right.

00:36:27.590 --> 00:36:29.710
It's like what pastor Ritchie was talking about

00:36:29.710 --> 00:36:31.510
about burning at both ends burning the candle

00:36:31.510 --> 00:36:34.809
at both ends I over committed and I overextended

00:36:34.809 --> 00:36:39.710
myself To the point that it was unhealthy for

00:36:39.710 --> 00:36:42.389
me, right? Yeah, I did it and I did it for a

00:36:42.389 --> 00:36:46.909
long time and so Having done some of the adjustments

00:36:46.909 --> 00:36:50.409
we have done and stepping back a little bit I'm

00:36:50.409 --> 00:36:53.110
able to work on myself work on my thinking and

00:36:53.110 --> 00:36:55.510
things like that and it seems to be working from

00:36:55.510 --> 00:36:58.860
what I can see But I'm probably not the best

00:36:58.860 --> 00:37:01.260
judge. Right. I feel like you're doing better.

00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:04.659
I really do. I mean, I think you feel I feel

00:37:04.659 --> 00:37:06.320
like you're getting something out every time

00:37:06.320 --> 00:37:08.559
you come out of counseling. I really do. I feel

00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:13.039
like you you do work on everything every time.

00:37:13.300 --> 00:37:16.400
Does it work every time in every situation? No.

00:37:16.900 --> 00:37:20.539
But I feel like you do it on those occasions.

00:37:20.699 --> 00:37:25.070
You know, I guess being reminded that. Fighting

00:37:25.070 --> 00:37:27.090
is a full -time job. It is a full -time job.

00:37:27.090 --> 00:37:29.389
Not gonna lie to you. We never get to get out

00:37:29.389 --> 00:37:31.869
of the fight. There's never actually a bell.

00:37:32.829 --> 00:37:37.110
Yeah. Ding, ding. That bell rang when you accepted

00:37:37.110 --> 00:37:39.170
Christ, and it ain't gonna ring again until he

00:37:39.170 --> 00:37:41.670
comes back. Absolutely. Right. And now we'll

00:37:41.670 --> 00:37:46.989
be ready. Yeah, so... I guess everything that

00:37:46.989 --> 00:37:49.230
we've kind of encompassed, we got a little bit

00:37:49.230 --> 00:37:52.389
into our personal lives, which, you know, that's

00:37:52.389 --> 00:37:55.199
bound to happen. when you get into this forum

00:37:55.199 --> 00:37:57.960
fights a fight. I mean, it's this fight that

00:37:57.960 --> 00:38:00.039
fight. Okay, so yeah, and you're right. It could

00:38:00.039 --> 00:38:01.719
look different in different points, right? It

00:38:01.719 --> 00:38:03.139
looks different at different to different with

00:38:03.139 --> 00:38:07.679
different people, right? And so who are the who

00:38:07.679 --> 00:38:10.480
are the people that are going to have the like

00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:12.179
you're going to end up fighting with the most

00:38:12.179 --> 00:38:14.320
the people you're closest to? Yeah, absolutely.

00:38:14.420 --> 00:38:16.780
That you spend the most time around? Yeah, which

00:38:16.780 --> 00:38:21.179
there's only one. As you know, I don't spend

00:38:21.179 --> 00:38:24.119
time with a lot of other people right, but I'm

00:38:24.119 --> 00:38:26.500
in a weird place right now like trying to figure

00:38:26.500 --> 00:38:31.239
out how to reacclimate myself with new knowledge

00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:36.199
and Come to an understanding of where my place

00:38:36.199 --> 00:38:39.719
is and what I Feel like God is actually asking

00:38:39.719 --> 00:38:43.679
me to do Yeah, I think I got into the ministries

00:38:43.679 --> 00:38:45.840
that I was involved in because I kind of felt

00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:49.300
pressured in a way Not with kids because that

00:38:49.300 --> 00:38:51.199
was what something I've always felt called to

00:38:51.199 --> 00:38:55.840
do right But I felt like my role to change based

00:38:55.840 --> 00:38:59.159
on pressure, right? And I felt like I honestly

00:38:59.159 --> 00:39:02.139
felt like the the altar ministry while it was

00:39:02.139 --> 00:39:04.079
helpful to me again I want you to understand

00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:06.820
like yeah, it was beneficial to me. It has been

00:39:06.820 --> 00:39:08.519
beneficial to me. It's helped my prayer life

00:39:08.519 --> 00:39:10.539
It's helped me be more bold in my prayer life

00:39:10.539 --> 00:39:12.659
and all that kind of stuff. So please don't understand

00:39:12.659 --> 00:39:16.789
but I also felt pressured to do it, right? Does

00:39:16.789 --> 00:39:20.329
that make sense? And so this is a lot of what

00:39:20.329 --> 00:39:22.349
people have a problem with with church. This

00:39:22.349 --> 00:39:24.309
is why they don't like church because they feel

00:39:24.309 --> 00:39:26.489
like they're pressuring you into something. The

00:39:26.489 --> 00:39:31.329
reality is they're not, but they need you. You

00:39:31.329 --> 00:39:33.489
know what I mean? That's the truth of it. They're

00:39:33.489 --> 00:39:36.170
not trying to pressure you into anything, but

00:39:36.170 --> 00:39:39.070
they desperately need your help. They can't do

00:39:39.070 --> 00:39:42.780
it without volunteers. It's not possible. No

00:39:42.780 --> 00:39:46.599
church other than the tiny ones Can get by without

00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:48.619
volunteers, right? You know what i'm saying?

00:39:48.619 --> 00:39:51.639
They just can't And no church is going to survive

00:39:51.639 --> 00:39:54.280
is meant to survive without the support of the

00:39:54.280 --> 00:39:56.599
people in it, right? It's not meant it's designed

00:39:56.599 --> 00:40:00.559
that way because It's not that how else do they

00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:03.900
make how else do you? Create revenue true to

00:40:03.900 --> 00:40:08.000
grow the ministry, right? volunteers, I mean

00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:11.340
And donation and donations. Yeah, right. I mean

00:40:11.340 --> 00:40:14.400
people Guess pastor Richie could write books

00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:17.179
and that could be a part another part revenue

00:40:17.179 --> 00:40:20.960
stream Yeah, you can do all those things but

00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:23.880
that's there's no guarantee in that. So how do

00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:27.179
you keep the house of God open? Yeah, you know,

00:40:27.260 --> 00:40:29.760
I mean cuz electricity ain't free boys and girls

00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:33.579
Even for the church the building being free taxes

00:40:33.579 --> 00:40:36.840
I mean the the land ain't free the building ain't

00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:39.260
free the plumbing ain't free the electricity

00:40:39.260 --> 00:40:43.949
ain't free You know what I'm saying? There's

00:40:43.949 --> 00:40:48.429
got to be money involved. It has to. There's

00:40:48.429 --> 00:40:52.469
no two ways about it, right? It's true. This

00:40:52.469 --> 00:40:54.630
ministry being a different because this isn't

00:40:54.630 --> 00:40:56.789
just a ministry, this is a business. We're establishing

00:40:56.789 --> 00:40:59.809
it as a business, right? We're not a church.

00:40:59.989 --> 00:41:02.269
We're not trying to replace church. We want to

00:41:02.269 --> 00:41:04.670
supplement church. We want to be a community.

00:41:05.409 --> 00:41:08.469
Right a community a small group right that we

00:41:08.469 --> 00:41:10.309
can share our story you want to spread the living

00:41:10.309 --> 00:41:12.170
hope of Jesus that's it and we want to share

00:41:12.170 --> 00:41:14.730
stories and talk about our own experience each

00:41:14.730 --> 00:41:19.150
other's experiences and Each other's understandings

00:41:19.150 --> 00:41:21.329
my understanding is different than yours. Yeah,

00:41:21.329 --> 00:41:24.170
and we're gonna get we're gonna get Pros and

00:41:24.170 --> 00:41:27.530
cons. Oh, yeah, so we might get you know more.

00:41:27.530 --> 00:41:29.789
I mean we're gonna get someone criticizing us,

00:41:29.789 --> 00:41:32.099
but We're gonna take it, we're gonna take it

00:41:32.099 --> 00:41:33.880
on the chin. That happens all the time. You know,

00:41:33.880 --> 00:41:36.260
and it's okay. That happens already. I ain't

00:41:36.260 --> 00:41:40.559
worried about that. So. What do you have to add

00:41:40.559 --> 00:41:43.659
to the fight? Okay, so I put on here on my little.

00:41:44.420 --> 00:41:49.219
On your notes. My bullet points. You have to

00:41:49.219 --> 00:41:56.139
let go of parts of your life that you can't fix.

00:41:56.789 --> 00:41:59.170
Which is the things you can't control you can't

00:41:59.170 --> 00:42:01.909
control you know like I said I mean we we consider

00:42:01.909 --> 00:42:04.650
to say all day long that we can You can only

00:42:04.650 --> 00:42:06.309
can control what you can control. We say it all

00:42:06.309 --> 00:42:09.190
the time control what you control parts of your

00:42:09.190 --> 00:42:13.869
life Maybe good. They may be bad, but you can

00:42:13.869 --> 00:42:17.530
only fix What you're willing to control you can

00:42:17.530 --> 00:42:21.170
only fix you exactly you know I'm saying can't

00:42:21.170 --> 00:42:24.559
fix others. You can't nothing. It's you It's

00:42:24.559 --> 00:42:27.340
all about you. You can only give so much of yourself

00:42:27.340 --> 00:42:30.719
to so many people. You know what I'm saying?

00:42:31.420 --> 00:42:34.579
Yeah. It only if they're willing to listen. You

00:42:34.579 --> 00:42:36.000
know, at the end of the day, you still can't

00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:38.440
control them. No, all you do is control what

00:42:38.440 --> 00:42:40.519
you give them. Yeah. And if they take what you

00:42:40.519 --> 00:42:43.079
get, if they take what you want, they're not

00:42:43.079 --> 00:42:44.900
going to take. They're not going to see something.

00:42:45.059 --> 00:42:46.340
Most people aren't going to take what you say

00:42:46.340 --> 00:42:49.480
anyway. No, not really. I mean, in the grand

00:42:49.480 --> 00:42:52.360
scheme of things, most people won't listen. They

00:42:52.360 --> 00:42:55.280
do exactly what we talked about earlier. They

00:42:55.280 --> 00:43:00.039
listen to hear, not to listen. So I heard what

00:43:00.039 --> 00:43:02.280
you said, and I can repeat what you said, but

00:43:02.280 --> 00:43:05.360
I'm not listening. I know that's a very strange

00:43:05.360 --> 00:43:08.300
thought process. There's a movie called White

00:43:08.300 --> 00:43:13.300
Man Can't Jump. I've only seen it one time. I

00:43:13.300 --> 00:43:17.139
was probably like 13. Well, I was old. Wesley,

00:43:17.400 --> 00:43:21.750
shut up. Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson, right?

00:43:21.769 --> 00:43:23.369
Woody Harrelson is a white boy. Wesley Snipes

00:43:23.369 --> 00:43:26.889
is African American and they're become they're

00:43:26.889 --> 00:43:29.030
like, you know, they're they're rim runners,

00:43:29.210 --> 00:43:34.769
right? In street basketball. And anyway, Woody

00:43:34.769 --> 00:43:37.769
Harrelson, the white boy is listening to a certain

00:43:37.769 --> 00:43:43.280
soul. Singer song on the radio and he's like

00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:44.900
man. You can't hear that. He's like not here.

00:43:44.900 --> 00:43:47.559
It's just fine He's like no, man, you can't hear

00:43:47.559 --> 00:43:51.320
that right you listen, but you can't hear that

00:43:51.320 --> 00:43:53.420
You know what I mean is like that's exactly what

00:43:53.420 --> 00:43:58.639
I'm talking about like Seeking first to understand

00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:05.340
Means listening slow down hearing. Yeah slow

00:44:05.340 --> 00:44:11.050
down and listen most of our world today it's

00:44:11.050 --> 00:44:16.190
all about a fast pace I mean our world is going

00:44:16.190 --> 00:44:19.829
and going and going on and people slow down that's

00:44:19.829 --> 00:44:25.489
when people are like you know what what you know

00:44:25.489 --> 00:44:29.510
I have a mental breakdown what okay okay okay

00:44:29.510 --> 00:44:33.889
see slow down you know what now we're actually

00:44:33.889 --> 00:44:37.369
now you're getting it Once we slow down and we

00:44:37.369 --> 00:44:39.210
actually realize what's going on in the world.

00:44:39.210 --> 00:44:43.750
It's like, okay Now you see it Let's deal with

00:44:43.750 --> 00:44:47.730
it. Okay, let's deal with this One thing at a

00:44:47.730 --> 00:44:50.710
time. Yeah, you know, we all have to learn to

00:44:50.710 --> 00:44:53.710
slow down and deal with this. Yeah, you know

00:44:53.710 --> 00:44:56.389
We got a fire you have to listen and then you

00:44:56.389 --> 00:45:00.869
can learn to speak Over your so speak life over

00:45:00.869 --> 00:45:07.449
ourselves, you know learn that Fighting Looks

00:45:07.449 --> 00:45:09.829
a whole hell of a lot like practicing the same

00:45:09.829 --> 00:45:11.969
move a thousand times. Oh, yeah, absolutely,

00:45:12.190 --> 00:45:16.389
right There's it's a old proverb that says don't

00:45:16.389 --> 00:45:18.909
fear a man who knows a thousand moves Fear a

00:45:18.909 --> 00:45:21.190
move and fear a man who knows one move practice

00:45:21.190 --> 00:45:24.329
a thousand times. Absolutely. That's a good That's

00:45:24.329 --> 00:45:26.210
good. There's a Japanese or Chinese proverb,

00:45:26.250 --> 00:45:29.510
but you think about that This is what I'm talking

00:45:29.510 --> 00:45:31.550
about what we are talking about when we talk

00:45:31.550 --> 00:45:34.619
about Fighting the good fight and the sword of

00:45:34.619 --> 00:45:39.320
the spirit You can fight with God's word You

00:45:39.320 --> 00:45:42.559
can fight the fight with God's word. You can't

00:45:42.559 --> 00:45:45.719
just be knowers of the word We have to be doers

00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:48.739
of the word, right? We need to soak that word

00:45:48.739 --> 00:45:51.500
in and plant it on our hearts So we have it available

00:45:51.500 --> 00:45:54.679
to us when the attack comes because the attack

00:45:54.679 --> 00:45:59.239
is coming. It is coming. Yeah There's no two

00:45:59.239 --> 00:46:02.429
ways about it everybody listen You're going to

00:46:02.429 --> 00:46:05.050
get hit. You're going to get attacked. The enemy

00:46:05.050 --> 00:46:08.190
hates you. Be ready. He wants to wear you down.

00:46:08.429 --> 00:46:10.989
If you are even remotely thinking about getting

00:46:10.989 --> 00:46:13.789
involved, if you're even remotely thinking about

00:46:13.789 --> 00:46:17.809
joining in relationship with Christ, know that

00:46:17.809 --> 00:46:23.650
it is glorious, but it takes effort, just like

00:46:23.650 --> 00:46:26.789
any relationship, this relationship included.

00:46:28.110 --> 00:46:30.929
We naturally love each other so much, but our

00:46:30.929 --> 00:46:33.690
relationship Only gets by so far with that. Yeah,

00:46:33.809 --> 00:46:36.170
we actually have to work at it. We do work at

00:46:36.170 --> 00:46:37.670
it. Yeah, you know what I mean? And look, we

00:46:37.670 --> 00:46:40.349
still mess it up. Absolutely. All the time. You

00:46:40.349 --> 00:46:42.210
know what I mean? But in the grand scheme of

00:46:42.210 --> 00:46:44.090
things, I look around at other people's relationships

00:46:44.090 --> 00:46:49.389
and I'm like, I got I got a good I'm good, man.

00:46:49.650 --> 00:46:52.530
And you think about starting over, right? Like

00:46:52.530 --> 00:46:54.190
I've told you, I've been struggling with that,

00:46:54.429 --> 00:46:57.190
like that 15 years thing. Yeah. And it's like

00:46:57.190 --> 00:46:59.570
thinking about what it would look like if I had

00:46:59.570 --> 00:47:02.869
to start over. I'm not who's gonna put up with

00:47:02.869 --> 00:47:09.869
me again again They have to learn me and understand,

00:47:09.869 --> 00:47:11.510
you know what I mean? And I have to learn them

00:47:11.510 --> 00:47:13.590
and like learn our nuances and our gives and

00:47:13.590 --> 00:47:18.369
our takes F all that crap, bro. I am winning

00:47:18.369 --> 00:47:22.449
right now. I am winning. The grass is never greener

00:47:22.449 --> 00:47:23.809
on the other side. I'm just telling you. Hell

00:47:23.809 --> 00:47:27.989
no. It's fake if it is. You know what? Astro

00:47:27.989 --> 00:47:30.670
turf. I'll just water this one on this side and

00:47:30.670 --> 00:47:32.570
I will make this one over here work a lot better

00:47:32.570 --> 00:47:36.570
than I can. And she may scalp it. No, I am not.

00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:40.940
Just take a little off the top. A little off

00:47:40.940 --> 00:47:42.719
the top, including the skin. I might take a little

00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:45.199
bit more off, but not scalp it. Just a little

00:47:45.199 --> 00:47:48.119
off. Might take a little off more than I need

00:47:48.119 --> 00:47:54.519
to, but never scalp it. You understand, right?

00:47:55.900 --> 00:47:58.280
All of that encircles the whole conversation

00:47:58.280 --> 00:48:01.679
about going to church, and it's like you can't

00:48:01.679 --> 00:48:04.539
do it without learning. And you can't do it by

00:48:04.539 --> 00:48:06.480
learning only on your own. But we have to learn

00:48:06.480 --> 00:48:08.739
to teach each other. You've got to be able to

00:48:08.739 --> 00:48:11.719
learn to help each other, teach each other, help

00:48:11.719 --> 00:48:13.340
each other with the word. If you don't understand

00:48:13.340 --> 00:48:16.619
the word, ask someone. Let's teach each other,

00:48:16.679 --> 00:48:19.960
you know? That's why we're a small group. Yeah.

00:48:20.440 --> 00:48:22.940
Ask us. We're the world's biggest small group.

00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:25.400
And we want to share life with everybody. Absolutely.

00:48:25.860 --> 00:48:29.059
And everybody's welcome. Everybody. Everybody.

00:48:29.440 --> 00:48:31.860
Your perspective is welcome. I want it. I'm cool

00:48:31.860 --> 00:48:35.929
with it. Just come in here with an open mind

00:48:35.929 --> 00:48:38.769
an open mind, right? Don't come at me attacking

00:48:38.769 --> 00:48:41.789
me. Yeah, cuz I'm just gonna shut you off Yeah,

00:48:41.829 --> 00:48:43.769
if you want to come in here and have a legitimate

00:48:43.769 --> 00:48:46.969
conversation. Yes, that's a I'm okay with that

00:48:46.969 --> 00:48:49.489
Even if it's an opposing view, I'm cool with

00:48:49.489 --> 00:48:52.789
that. Absolutely. I'm not right left. I'm right

00:48:52.789 --> 00:48:55.869
in the middle I want to know like I think a little

00:48:55.869 --> 00:48:59.010
of both works. Yeah, right. That's what I think

00:48:59.010 --> 00:49:02.480
I think that I think that Relationship with Christ

00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:05.159
is worth it man. It is worth and it's so much

00:49:05.159 --> 00:49:10.559
more than heaven. Oh, yeah heaven is The everlasting

00:49:10.559 --> 00:49:12.460
right the greatest thing when we get there But

00:49:12.460 --> 00:49:15.139
when we we have an opportunity this like you

00:49:15.139 --> 00:49:17.619
want to know why suicide rates so high. Yeah

00:49:17.619 --> 00:49:26.300
a lack of Christ. Yeah, I Agree I Totally agree

00:49:26.300 --> 00:49:32.590
Geez mic drop preach it preach it Go ahead you

00:49:32.590 --> 00:49:36.710
got a joke. I'm sorry. Maybe sorry suck on your

00:49:36.710 --> 00:49:38.769
suck on your drink over there I am let me see

00:49:38.769 --> 00:49:43.650
what I got here. Let me get you a joke here Alrighty

00:49:43.650 --> 00:49:49.989
waste of time I'm not gonna say it never mind

00:49:49.989 --> 00:49:55.809
go ahead What do you call a belt made of watches

00:50:00.940 --> 00:50:03.980
A belt made of watches is a waste of time, in

00:50:03.980 --> 00:50:06.579
all the right words too. Waste of time. Very

00:50:06.579 --> 00:50:11.000
literally. Waste of time. To know that even one

00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:14.219
life has breathed easier because you have lived,

00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:19.219
this is to have succeeded. To know that you've

00:50:19.219 --> 00:50:21.820
affected one person's life in a positive way,

00:50:22.900 --> 00:50:25.579
their life has become easier or better because

00:50:25.579 --> 00:50:28.219
you, without you it wouldn't have happened, right?

00:50:28.760 --> 00:50:31.449
That's success. That's what that means. And I

00:50:31.449 --> 00:50:33.829
feel like that's you. That's what I want to be.

00:50:34.530 --> 00:50:37.489
And I want, I would love - And hopefully we -

00:50:37.489 --> 00:50:39.570
Seven billion, eight million. Yeah, yeah. That'd

00:50:39.570 --> 00:50:42.030
be cool too. That'd be awesome too. Because I

00:50:42.030 --> 00:50:44.170
think everybody deserves it. I do too. I think

00:50:44.170 --> 00:50:46.590
it's - Everybody's made in the image of God.

00:50:47.269 --> 00:50:49.469
Everybody is His creation. Everybody deserves

00:50:49.469 --> 00:50:51.010
- And I feel like - To be in relationship with

00:50:51.010 --> 00:50:54.969
Him. I feel like our world right now is so damaged

00:50:54.969 --> 00:50:58.889
that people do, just like you had a conversation

00:50:58.889 --> 00:51:03.900
with - Someone and it's like is it helping is

00:51:03.900 --> 00:51:07.500
it is it this is that? What do you think? What

00:51:07.500 --> 00:51:09.500
do you what do you really think about? What is

00:51:09.500 --> 00:51:11.780
this? What is that? And you're like, yeah, and

00:51:11.780 --> 00:51:16.179
they're like, oh I mean to have conversations

00:51:16.179 --> 00:51:19.179
with people and they're like, you know, I mean

00:51:19.179 --> 00:51:22.519
cuz I'm gonna lie to you. I mean We were never

00:51:22.519 --> 00:51:25.139
raised counseling or anything like that. But

00:51:25.139 --> 00:51:28.659
did that one step for someone To see where you're

00:51:28.659 --> 00:51:32.320
going through and to reach one person if we reach

00:51:32.320 --> 00:51:38.380
that one person Hey, you know, yeah, I felt god's

00:51:38.380 --> 00:51:41.659
Giving us that person, you know, yeah to be reminded

00:51:41.659 --> 00:51:47.659
that We're meant to commune with each other we're

00:51:47.659 --> 00:51:52.159
meant to look this this life is uh Life itself

00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:56.940
is not easier with christ, but you just Understand

00:51:56.940 --> 00:51:59.619
better your place and you understand better how

00:51:59.619 --> 00:52:03.739
to how to respond to difficulty You understand

00:52:03.739 --> 00:52:06.699
but your your rest is in him rather than in what

00:52:06.699 --> 00:52:10.179
you can and can't do That's a freeing thought.

00:52:10.179 --> 00:52:13.739
You know what I mean? And Look, there's there's

00:52:13.739 --> 00:52:17.199
only one God who's real You know what? I mean,

00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:19.679
there's only one God who stands above them all

00:52:19.679 --> 00:52:23.099
and that is the God right and he stands in the

00:52:23.099 --> 00:52:30.420
form of three and that's father Yeah, only yeah,

00:52:30.659 --> 00:52:34.940
he put himself on our level No other God was

00:52:34.940 --> 00:52:38.500
willing to do that So he put himself on our level

00:52:38.500 --> 00:52:40.739
was willing to live the perfect life and die

00:52:40.739 --> 00:52:45.500
the spotless Africa sacrifice so that you could

00:52:45.500 --> 00:52:49.039
receive him and Boldly come into his presence

00:52:49.039 --> 00:52:54.719
and have relationship with him not law Yeah relationship

00:52:55.789 --> 00:53:00.469
Should we follow the law? 100%. We should. Are

00:53:00.469 --> 00:53:04.530
we going to? Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.

00:53:06.550 --> 00:53:10.429
But we get relationship with the creator of everything,

00:53:11.130 --> 00:53:14.150
an opportunity to understand ourselves on a higher

00:53:14.150 --> 00:53:18.510
level and to eventually be joined with our creator

00:53:18.510 --> 00:53:22.829
again for all eternity and the peace and perfect

00:53:22.829 --> 00:53:27.030
and complete peace. Right. That's the whole point.

00:53:27.030 --> 00:53:30.349
Absolutely. And so we took a roller coaster ride

00:53:30.349 --> 00:53:34.150
on this one. I don't know about about the middle

00:53:34.150 --> 00:53:38.690
eight of this conversation. I don't know what

00:53:38.690 --> 00:53:41.570
purpose it'll serve, but, you know, I actually

00:53:41.570 --> 00:53:44.809
like whenever we get a little bit real about

00:53:44.809 --> 00:53:48.010
our relationship, because I want people to see

00:53:48.010 --> 00:53:49.789
like we're just random people, too. You know

00:53:49.789 --> 00:53:52.110
what I mean? We are not perfect. I mean, we're

00:53:52.110 --> 00:53:55.510
still we're still here. We're still fighting

00:53:55.510 --> 00:53:58.469
the fight and we still have gotten our lives.

00:53:58.469 --> 00:54:00.489
We're always going to have gotten our lives.

00:54:00.869 --> 00:54:03.929
Fighting the fight sometimes looks like fighting

00:54:03.929 --> 00:54:05.570
with your spouse and learning to communicate

00:54:05.570 --> 00:54:08.030
better. You know what I mean? Like, that's what

00:54:08.030 --> 00:54:12.829
that is. Because you're my person, right? Like,

00:54:12.829 --> 00:54:15.230
you're my person. You're the person on this earth

00:54:15.230 --> 00:54:18.010
that I get to experience. Yeah, of course. You're

00:54:18.010 --> 00:54:20.489
my greatest friend. Like, there's no friends

00:54:20.489 --> 00:54:22.630
above you, right? There's only one that's above

00:54:22.630 --> 00:54:26.980
you. That's Christ, that's it. It's God, it's

00:54:26.980 --> 00:54:28.800
you, and then everything else falls behind that

00:54:28.800 --> 00:54:31.179
in some random order, you know what I mean, for

00:54:31.179 --> 00:54:35.880
the most part. So, anyway, you guys join along

00:54:35.880 --> 00:54:38.159
with us. We'd love to have you. We'd love for

00:54:38.159 --> 00:54:40.460
you to conversate with us in whatever way you

00:54:40.460 --> 00:54:44.360
feel comfortable, whether it be in person, on

00:54:44.360 --> 00:54:47.280
a phone call, on a text message, on an email,

00:54:47.500 --> 00:54:50.139
every possible way you can think to reach out

00:54:50.139 --> 00:54:52.380
to us, it's available to you at any given time.

00:54:52.409 --> 00:54:54.630
You can come to our website. That's a good place

00:54:54.630 --> 00:54:57.809
to start. We love you. We thank you for being

00:54:57.809 --> 00:55:00.750
here. See you next time. See ya.