I Don’t Know, But I Trust Him

0:00 Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why scriptures say, How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news. But not everyone welcomes the good news. For Isaiah the prophet said, Lord, Who has believed our message? So faith comes from hearing. That is, hearing the good news about Christ. Somebody needs to hire me to do voice work. I'm telling you. I know. He's available.

1:21 Still available. Nobody's bit yet. Hey, everyone. Anyway. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Bumper Sticker Wisdom. I'm John. I'm Terry. Oh, man. With an I. With an I. Terry with an I. She got very offended. I used the speech to text for captions on one of our videos. It put Y instead of I on her name. I didn't catch it. I wasn't paying attention. That's very upset. Let's go. And John goes, it wasn't me. I know how to spell your name. I promise. I did not do that. Speech to text. AI did it. AI did it. It was not me. I guess it was AI.

2:02 I don't know how that works. Anyway, we are jumping the gun a little bit. It's going to be a very busy week. We didn't record or talk about it last week, which we should have because that's the week it comes out. But our church has invited a group to come and do what they're calling a tent revival. I guess these folks do this all over the place. It's been done quite a bit. This is the first time. We've been going to church there eight, nine years? Nine years, yeah. And this will be the first time we've done anything like this. Yes. Pretty excited about it, but it's also a commitment, and they need all the help they can get. So we're committed to be there every day, not just participating in the event, but helping, being on. Prayer, altar ministry, and among other things, whatever they need. Driving a golf cart. I'm excited. Driving a golf cart, yeah. 100%. That's the best one. That's the best ministry right there. I get to give people rides?

2:56 Perfect. I could talk to people. I could do that all day. I can't. I can't talk to people like that. Yes, you can. Quit telling yourself that. I don't. I try. You do a good job. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah. I'm just not very astute. I can talk. Yeah. I can listen. I can have a conversation. It's just not real likely that I'm going to go start one. True. That's so true. I'll get involved in a conversation. That's true. I'm not going to go start one with somebody. I don't know why. Okay. Tara, you can talk to this table with no one in the room. That's so true. How are you, Tay? What have you been up to? I was pretty upset when I went to church this morning. Ladies, the week before we played Iowa. Was it Iowa? Ohio State. Ohio State. And I didn't wear my jersey.

3:51 She was like, I was so ready for you to wear your jersey. And then I wore my longhorn shirt today. And I said, you didn't even say anything. She goes, no, I saw it. Girl, I saw your shirt today. I said, but you have to acknowledge it. You have to acknowledge me wearing my shirt. She goes, I was coming. Calm down. I hadn't left yet. I was like, okay. I need you to acknowledge my shirt. The day is still running. The time is still clicking. So anyway, that being said, we're trying to get some of this stuff done early because it's going to impede on my schedule for post -production stuff, editing and all that. The cool thing about building the studio at our house is we have more freedom to do things how we want to or when we want to. We don't have to necessarily. make time for, to go somewhere or anything like that. We can just be here. Uh, if we just randomly haven't, that's the other cool thing about it. When times are slow, which they're not right now, there's a lot of busy things, you know, weddings and, uh, baby showers and stuff like that every weekend for a while.

4:46 Um, and also it's football seasons. Gotta watch football. He's wearing his, he's wearing a Jersey. Yeah. Wearing my Jersey today. Um, it's just, it's cool to have the freedom. We can just be randomly sitting here on a Saturday evening and go, This sounds like a conversation we should be having. Let's go sit down. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. So that's the fun part of doing it or having it and convenient part of having it at home. Still, my dream is to have a space that's outside of our home where it's not so intrusive to our life. Right. But once that's the case, this is a whole different thing. Absolutely. So right now we're just going to enjoy the process. So before we get going too much further, what do we got? We've already spoken for 12 minutes, so I haven't prayed yet. I know, so rude. I know, so take a quick second to pray.

5:40 Heavenly Father, we thank you for giving us the time, the opportunity, and the means just to do this. Father, we just want to take a moment to lift you up, to glorify you, to present you in a way that is enticing and pleasing to others, Father God. We ask that you motivate us and give us the words to speak. Give some people what they need to pray the things that they need prayed over, to discuss the things in life that make them feel not so alone. Father, we thank you that you are good, you are merciful in your kindness. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. You got the scowl on your face. I was thinking, honestly I was thinking about... I heard something outside the door. I was like, I can only imagine these dogs breaking through this door for some reason.

6:28 I don't know why I was thinking that. They can't get through the door. It slides. Yeah. But our dogs are pretty smart. They'll slide that door open. I don't know why I was thinking that. They don't even mess with that door. They don't even like to come up to it. Even when it's open, they're like, I'm not going there. Pudge is pretty resentful. He can. Resourceful. Resourceful. Resourceful, yeah. Yeah, I can see that. I don't know why I was thinking that. It was just in my mind. I was thinking about it, and I had my eyes closed, and I was like. Not praying. Praying wasn't on your mind at all. I get it. So today at church, he was discussing the Holy Spirit, and this is something that I wouldn't say I struggle with. I understand that it's something, but I'm not really understanding how it operates and how I'm supposed to interact with it. It's still something that I have questions about. Yeah, me too. One of the things that they talked about in that pamphlet, which I've read that before, is a prayer language. I still don't really understand that. Essentially, it says that everybody has one. I've never had that before. You know what I'm saying? To me, that's a tongues thing. From what I understand, gifts of the Spirit, not everybody gets them. Or not everybody gets all the gifts.

7:45 Right. If that makes any sense, right? Not everybody's gifted to be a teacher, right? Or not everybody's gifted to speak a prophetic word. Not everybody's gifted to speak in tongues. What's up? I was going to say pathetic word. Pathetic. A pathetic word. It took a minute for her to figure out how to say prophetic. I get it. Sometimes I forget, and then when you said it, I just started laughing. You're a dork. You're a dork. What is it about this room? Every time. Did you take a hit off the bong before you came in here or what? No, I don't. Yeah, no. That's funny. Yeah, yeah.

8:36 When Shelby gets in a public setting, it's almost always. She just starts coughing every time. Yeah. And I think it's just because she gets, it's just a nervous cough. And I think it's, everybody looks at her and she's like. Sorry. It's like when you get into church. It's like when we used to sit with my grandma, every time we would try something hard not to laugh or whatever. I never sat next to her. She would always pinch me in my arm. Mother trucker. I never sat next to her. She'd hit me or bop me. I stayed way far away from her when she. Yeah. Grannies are ruthless. They were when I was young. Yes. Great. Now I have a tickle. That's hilarious. I have to get a mint or something. But it's a curious thing, the operating in the Holy Spirit with the Holy Spirit. It's a person, right? It's one of three, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost.

9:39 It was interesting what he was talking about, about pneuma. That's the word that they translated it from. It's kind of hard to truly describe that because it's like breath. It's wind. And so it was a really interesting thing that he was talking about, not the contrast, but how the wind and spirit are similar. And I thought it was very interesting. It was a cool way to think through it. It's also... It was one of the scriptures he put on there. It was like, you can't put the wind, that's why he put the spirit. Right, right, right. One of the scriptures he used was Jesus talking, saying, the words I am speaking are... contains spirit and life.

10:36 And when you say spirit, it's like the breath of God. You know what I mean? It really is that, but you can't say that and make it make sense. To me, operating in the Holy Spirit is uncontrollable. Does that make sense? That's how I feel about it. In moments where I've truly felt like the Holy Spirit was in operation in me and within me or through me, I wasn't controlling it. It was just something that was happening. Just like that. We talked about that in our first podcast that came out when Kevin said he had the chill bumps. Yeah, when that gentleman rolled up on us on our yard. Caleb was his name. I'm praying to see him at the tent revival. Yeah. But yeah, that's exactly right. In that moment, operating in the spirit. And to me, it wasn't a super profound.

11:27 Actually, that's a lie. It was a profound thing because after the fact. I remember telling you I was just in awe of God in that moment because of the fact that I wasn't really in a good mind frame. I wasn't in a good place right then and there. You know what I'm saying? And that's how God works for me all the time. He always comes and gets me when I'm not really feeling it. Every time. You know what I mean? Because he knows you need it. He knows where you're at, and he knows where to put things into your life like that. Right, 100%. It's cool. I think it's something that deserves deeper evaluation, deeper conversation, deeper examination. A lot of Asians. But it's something that you can't do in one conversation, I think. Just like most everything, you can't really get all this done in one day, in one setting.

12:13 It's one of the things that I heard somebody complain about. Kind of about our podcast kind of being repetitive. It repeats. There's a lot of concepts that repeat. And I'm like, well, that's because this is a lifelong thing. You're going to see the same things over and over and over again. Look, God's love is forever. And so, yeah, you're going to talk about God's love a lot, right? Operating in your life and through your life. And it's different things and different times and different, you know what I mean? Different operations. Now my nose is tickling. No. Darn it. You know, it just operates differently in different times in your life. You have a better understanding of it or a different understanding of it at different times in life. Same thing with, you know, I think the gifts of the Spirit are something very interesting because I think that we try to, as people, we try to make things finite with God sometimes. Like we try to make God like, well, he only listed five, so there can only be those five. I think that's untrue.

13:13 Yeah, I do too. I think it's... examples of what the gifts are right and it's ways that you serve others though that's anything that you're anything that you are gifted to do has to do with serving others in the name of god yeah right and drawing people near to god right that's what it's all about and so i don't there are certain things that people say are uh one my dad used to tell me that my spiritual gift is faith and my faith is so as such that other people gain faith because I'm around. But that's not listed in the Bible. And for a long time, I thought like that too. I thought, well, that's not a gift. It makes me laugh because if we go to places and they're not busy, every time we go and people follow you, I don't know what it is. A place could be not busy and five or six people come in. As soon as I walk through the door. So I was talking to somebody about this the other day. Oh, you were? It makes me laugh because I'm like, no.

14:16 Because it's a work in person. Oh, it's Pedro. You know Pedro. Oh, yeah, I know Pedro. And for whatever reason, whenever the other supervisor is not there, things go crazy. It's like we get the busier than we've ever been. It's always that. And I was talking to him about it. I said, you know, Pedro, somebody told me one time, because every time I go somewhere that's dead, like when I show up, it's dead. Yeah. And within 15 minutes, there's 20 people. Like, where'd you come from? But you know what's so funny? Because I feel like that's you, but I can talk to anybody. So I can talk, and it's like, we bring conversation. I draw them near, you talk to them. Exactly.

14:57 You know what I'm saying? So we're meant for each other. You know what I'm saying? I think that's that, too. Like, the people that we're with and we're around, those are the, like, we're meant to do all this together. This isn't meant to be done as a one -man show. You know what I'm saying? Even Jesus didn't do it by himself. No, absolutely not. He had 12 dudes that were his homies, that was his friends. Yeah. Those were the people that, I mean, I always am curious about this. Do you think that Christ ever confided like we do? And to confide in somebody means like to let them into an issue or a place with something you're struggling with. I bet it took him a little bit, but yeah. You think he did? I bet so. It doesn't record it biblically. But I really do evaluate Jesus as a... person i do i see him as a perfect version of what you and i are yeah just not making the mistakes that we make right but he's still human so he struggled like emotionally he hurt he got you know it okay so at the garden of gethsemane before he gets arrested he's he's praying to not have to take this cup of suffering you know what i'm saying like Clearly he was struggling. Clearly he was stressed out. Clearly he was worried. And he was upset because he asked three of the disciples, I think it was three of the disciples, to stay and wait with him. He's going to go off and pray on his own, but I need you to stay awake over here. And they couldn't stay awake. They'd fall asleep. And he got, I wouldn't say he got mad at them. He kind of got upset with them about,

16:29 you can't even, like, my time has come and you can't even. spend your last few hours with me. Instead, you're going to rest. And I think there might be something to that too, just the confidence of knowing him and all that kind of stuff. Again, I think sometimes we take things for granted. Yeah, we do. I find it real interesting that, and it's just a thought that I had, like do you ever think that there was a moment where, you know, who was his best friend? I think Peter was like his closest friend. That was the one that he was the biggest, because they fought the most too. And what makes me laughing, Peter was like, are you going to deny me three times? No, I would never do that. Never do that. And then he did. You know, it's like, no. And you're like, yes. Look, you're talking about, that's Peter, dude. That's the dude that had the faith to walk on water. If only for a moment, right?

17:22 The storm came and he started, his faith started to waver, which is what happens, right? And that's why we need each other to help lift our faith back up. You know what I mean? What was the one of the... The spirits was, well, I'll just say all the, it was the winds of the spirits was, and the unseeked. Okay, so how are wind and spirit alike? Yeah. They're both unseen. They're unseen. My handwriting is terrible. Your handwriting is terrible. I can't read your handwriting. It's terrible. This is me, right? They're both unseen.

18:03 They're both powerful, unpredictable. And this is probably the part that we dislike the most about God and about his spirit is that it's unpredictable. Unpredictable. And it shows up in places where you're not expecting it, right? And then refreshing. Unpredictable was what I was trying to get with, you know, because unpredictable is like, I'm sorry. Unpredictable is like, you know, what I was trying to get with, you know. You should never know. Unpredictable is just the weather, anything, you know, things that come through your life is so unpredictable. Yeah. You know, I think that you can have a good idea. Yeah.

18:44 But you still can't predict it. You can't get it on the head. You want to. You won't be able to. But one of the automatic negative thoughts we have is like it's literally a prophesy. Like you're literally saying, I already know this is what's going to happen. Yeah. Right. And it's something I struggle with, obviously. You should know this because of how many times whenever you are, hey, I'm going to go do this real quick, my first response is what I always say. Is it going to be 10 minutes or is it going to be an hour? I'm like, I don't know. So I don't ever say, I'll be back in a minute. I mean, I'll be back. I don't give you a specific time. I've been here recently a couple times. I'll be right back. Right back. Seriously, I'll be right back.

19:28 An hour later. Especially if it involves going to your parents. Okay. My parents. Right back is 90 minutes. My mother does not know how to just. Of course, she doesn't get to see my face. I get it. You talk to each other three times a day, Terry. She's not the same. Not the same. Okay. Whatever you say. She wants me to sit next to her and talk. I'm just saying that I'm kind of convicting myself a little bit because. I am already, I'm placing on you what I already feel like is going to happen. Yes. Right. And so same with, it's like whenever something happens and I go, I knew that was coming. I knew that was going to happen. I knew it. You know what I mean? No, you didn't. No, you didn't. You may have had a good idea because you know, we, we, we learn patterns in life and you learn behavior.

20:21 But you were, you were like that. You, you were, how would I, you always, you always try to take this. and analyze okay well okay and then i'll analyze this or what if it did it or you know or you know you you analyze it like two or three times or 50 times to get what you you think you want it to come out to be yeah yeah me you just go yeah i mean but you know but like i said you lived a different life different than i did you know so that was different we Different patterns. But I think that's why we're so good for each other. Yeah. Well. Most of the time. In seasons, I guess. You want to say it that way. Sometimes.

21:10 We'll say in seasons. I think we're always good for each other. I think we're always good for each other, but I think there are times when we struggle more than others. Oh, yeah. I feel like we've been a little bit off kilter recently for whatever reason that may be. I think that's just part of life, man. You go through these things and. What I can't have is I can't have you and you guys, because that's what's happening right now, placing your feelings about what you think I'm going through on me without actually knowing. Right. And so like you were talking about, like my dad was like. I don't know. He's been really, I was like, whoa, dude, like nothing's wrong. I'm doing, I'm actually doing better now than I have been. So like, do I still struggle?

21:57 Of course, man. I'm a person. Yes. I'm still healing. I'm still trying to figure it out. You know what I mean? But I've learned a lot about myself and about how your brain operates and how you're conscious and how they fight each other and all that kind of stuff. Like I'm learning how to better. react to things rather than, well, not react, but actually evaluate and then respond rather than just respond. Do I miss it sometimes? Yeah, I do. I still mess up. Well, with all this going on with this wedding and now we have a shower to get over, so it's just... And then another wedding. Braxton and Ella. Oh, yeah, but that has nothing to do with us. Touche, but it's another responsibility. But it's not family.

22:47 Yeah, true. So it's getting through expectations this type and getting through family problems and functions. The little nitpicky stuff that we do to each other and the ways that we just pick at each other. Getting over it. But we got through this one very well. Tori's writing was very beautiful. Very beautiful family. Did really well. It was great. I loved it. It was very awesome. Had a good time? Had a great time. I kind of learned how to dance. Hey, we've been together for 15 years. I was about to say 13 for some reason. We've been together for 15 years, and we actually two -stepped together and did really well. I was very proud of us. That's one of them.

23:40 I love to two -step. It's my favorite. We did well. I was dealing with something today. I actually went and talked to Pastor Richie about it today. I had applied for a different position at my job and different responsibilities and things like that. And I had already kind of had in my head that it probably wasn't going to work out because I knew that there would very likely be a pay reduction, which I kind of fully expected. I didn't know it would be that big of a reduction. And so I was hoping if it was close enough, then I would have probably accepted. Um, but it wasn't going to get close, not even remotely close enough. And so, um, I was pretty much at peace with that from the beginning. And then I was at peace whenever that, when I finally got to, I mean, I went through the interview process and everything and I'm pretty much the job was mine if I wanted it.

24:29 Right. And, and then, um, I was doing, I was good with it until I told y 'all and y 'all were so disappointed that I was like, Man, it made me feel like, did I just make a mistake? No. You know what I'm saying? I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you. I talked to him about it too. I was like, did I just, because look, I've prayed to God about helping me change my circumstance. You know what I mean? Yeah. Help me to get somewhere else. You know what I'm saying? And then I told Pastor, I was like, man, did I just, did God just open a door and I refused to walk through it? You know what I mean? Is that what happened? Now am I trusting myself instead of him? Because y 'all's level of disappointment shocked me.

25:11 Yeah. It really did. It surprised me. Like, you should have taken it anyway. No. I know our budget. I know what, and that was, it wasn't that. It was the, I know how much you do something different. Yeah. Because I have been doing the same thing for a long time now. Very long time. 13 years -ish. I know the struggles you go. I hear the struggles every day. Yeah. At the end of the day, though, I choose to believe that if that's what God willed and that was God's true plan, it would have happened. Right. Right. And the need that I have financially would have been met if that's what I was supposed to do. Right.

25:57 And so I fully anticipated that. I fully had already accepted that that could be the case. Right. Before I even put my name in the hat, I accepted that. I knew that. And, you know, it just surprised me. It surprised me. Y 'all were so disappointed. I was like, should I be a little more upset right now or something? Or should I turn around and be like, hey, never mind. I'd like to take the job. No. You know what I mean? Like, I can't put our family in a bind over. Absolutely not. Stress level, right? Just want y 'all people to know, I don't pay our bills. I don't know where we're at or how it goes. The bills are paid. That's all I care about is my bills are paid. And I'm living comfortably.

26:42 And I don't have someone, your rent is due today. And I don't have that problem. I don't have that problem. I'm not going to let that happen. No, I know you won't. Because I don't have that problem. I will just go and say, here's my paycheck. How much can I spend? That's all I care about. None. You can't spend any. I'm not a utility person. I don't want purses. I don't want any of that. I prefer to have shoes. I don't get that either. I don't have near as many shoes as some of these people here have shoes. Yeah, well, you don't have the freaking Goldie Hawn overboard closet of shoes. Have y 'all ever seen over where she has this little thing that has these come back and those come back and these, but I don't wear those kind of shoes either. I'm a tennis shoes flip flop. I'm to the point. I can't wear flip flops anymore either. It's because it hurt my feet. I bought so many pairs of these stupid things, man. Oh man. But anyway, it is, it's kind of, that's what was going on with me. And I'm like, man, am I trusting myself instead of trusting God? Am I, have, have I, you know, decided to deny God's blessing. Absolutely. I get what you're saying. And I'm sorry I made you feel like that because I don't ever want you to think that. I was just trying to, and I probably was not very supportive, but I was wanting you to have more peace and more, you know, let's go.

28:11 I mean. I got to trust God's plan, though. You're right. You're totally right. Absolutely, totally right. You know, I was ready for your phone not to ring near as much and those type things. But people look to you like. But it's, and then you got something good out of it though. I did. I did. I felt like I did. I felt like there was an acknowledgement of my value and acknowledgement of the skill that I have, an acknowledgement of, I mean, honestly, like, you know, my boss's concern was that I was, he was afraid I was trying to get away from something. Like I was trying to run away from something. I'm like. No, it's not really that I'm okay doing what I'm doing, but I start looking around and so many people have moved around. So much has changed and I'm still in the same place. And I'm like, man, I, I honestly, I was like, man, I hadn't put my name in the hat for a new position in 11 years.

29:08 Yeah. Which was when I became the operations manager. I haven't done that in 11 years. And it's like, maybe it's time for me to start. Trying to step into other things. Like, it's not that I don't want to be a part of the operation. I'm just tired of the same thing all the time. Like, I've been doing this. And I think I'm okay with it. I think I'm pretty good at it. You know, I'm pretty decent with people. Believe it or not, I'm actually okay with people. I can guide people and lead people and all those kinds of things. You do good at that. One of the things I acknowledge, I will acknowledge, is that I'm really, I don't think I'm the right person to sit at the head of the table. I get that. I'm the right person to be. at his left or right hand, but not at the head of the table. I'm more of a, I belong on the inner circle, but I don't belong at the head of the table. I belong at a seat at the table, not at the head of the table.

30:00 I'm better as a consigliere or like a council person, somebody who's a counselor, who coaches and counsels and helps make decisions rather than being the primary decision maker. So I think that that's... Where I kind of, you know, I acknowledged that to them. And it was kind of like they started asking me, well, what would you think about doing this? Or what would you think? It's like they started asking those kinds of questions. Like this position doesn't exist right now, but what if it did? Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like, I could do anything. I know I can. I can do anything. I can show you anything. I've done it all out here. Dude, you could pull something out and they'd be like, oh, how did you get to that?

30:44 How did you do that? You know, I mean, so like I said, you could do anything. I mean, you already know everything that goes on. Yeah. You do well at it. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah. But I was concerned. I started getting concerned. And he even said, too, he's like, that's hindsight, though. He said, you said you had peace at the moment that you said that this is going to take me out of the running. If you had peace then, what happened to the peace? Right. I was like, quite honestly, people got in the way and started making me feel like, oh, shit, did I do something? Did I mess up? Right, right. You know what I mean? And he's like, look, you already had peace about it. Yeah. And you let people get in the way and they start to steal your peace. You know what I mean? Yeah. And you get in your own head then. Yeah. And now guess what? Now I'm questioning.

31:37 Yeah. Did I make a bad call? Did I make a bad decision? Right. Right? Should I have just? In spite of the fact that it would have cost me a substantial dollar amount per year. Yeah. Should I have gone ahead and done it? No, I think I made the right decision. I think you made the right decision. And I think God has a bigger plan. I think so. I think so. Don't know what it is. As always, I don't know what it is, but I know I trust him. So anyway, yeah. That's why we walk by faith and not by sight. Exactly. Right. If I just took the. Took the spot because it would have been easier. We would have had to get another second job. Yeah, I would have had to get a couple of second jobs. Probably two or three second jobs. Uber or something. We could do that now. Right. I poured out everything I got right now. What else you got? I don't know.

32:41 I think understanding that we operate so strongly through our words. Yes, our words are. And the way that the enemy operates is through words. Yeah. And his words are always going to be accusatory towards God. And it's why we question things sometimes with God, I think. The why me question, that's really a question that's the enemy's, I think. I think that's guided by our selfish desire to not want to have to struggle. And look, I'm not saying we should desire the struggle, but it's part of the plan. It's just part of it. You can't get better by making it easy. It's true. Life is not easy anyway. If it's easy...

33:39 We would all do it. Yeah, it's... Who was it? Have you ever... Oh, I know you've seen the movie, A League of Their Own. It's one of my favorite things ever. One of my favorite things he ever said when he's talking towards the end of the movie when Dottie decides she's going to leave. Oh, yeah. And the coach, Jimmy Dugan, Tom Hanks' character, is like, what the heck is going on? Where are you going? You know what I mean? You're a ball player. You know what I mean? The first... Female that he respected was her. Yeah. You know what I mean? And this, of course, this is a time when females were not very well respected, obviously. They weren't very well respected. You know what I mean? And she was the one that opened his eyes to the fact that these girls could play. Yeah.

34:21 You know what I'm saying? And she said, it just got too hard. And he goes, of course it's hard. If it wasn't hard, everybody would do it. The hard is what makes it great. Yep. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I love that. Yeah. I love that speech. God, it's been moving forever. Yeah, it's a good film. It is a good film. It's a good flick. Tom Hanks is a great actor. Really, he's done a lot of good movies. Yeah, he's done a lot of movies. Wow. He made us all cry over a volleyball, dude. He did. Yes, he did. But think about that. Think about the isolation that he had lived with for however long it was. I don't remember. I have seen that movie one time. I have seen it one time. It made me cry, so that's why I'm going to watch it. But think about the isolation, and the only thing he had to talk to was a ball. He even gave him hair. He did give him hair. It's crazy, right? But, you know, the power of our words and the things that we say. over ourselves, to ourselves, through ourselves, to others. Man. It's crazy. The enemy is going to manipulate everything to make you doubt, to make you fear, to make you believe that God is withholding something from you or expecting something from you. I think that one of the things that I love the most about our God is that he upholds

35:53 us. We don't uphold him. You know what I mean? He wants you. To let him hold you up. He literally asks you to let me. Let me have it. Come to me all who are weak and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Yeah. Right? I don't want you to carry the burden. I'll do it for you. But you got to let me. Yeah. That's hard. It's hard to leave your stuff at the altar. It's hard to leave your... Sometimes I ask the question, what does that look like? Yeah. Does that mean just don't worry about it? I don't think though. I don't think that's what it means, but it's like, I'm a simple person. I'm a simple human. I don't really, I think complexly, but I'm a simple person. I really am. Simple things make me happy. Yeah. Right. And simple things make me comfortable, but I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I'm just curious about those things. Like, what does that really mean? What does it mean to give my burdens to you? God.

36:52 That's a good question. I ask him that a lot. He hasn't really truly revealed it to me, I don't think. I think he's revealed bits and pieces at times. At times, it's like we said about rest. It's rest assured. It's not being lazy. Yeah, it's not being lazy. It's not doing nothing. It's understanding that my confidence is in him. So this is tough. This is a hard thing I'm dealing with, but my hope is in him. My confidence is in him. And so I can rest assured that I'm going to get through it. Right? Like you talked about wanting to be healed. I just want to be healed. Well, you are healed. You just can't see it yet.

37:34 Yeah. You know what I mean? You're going to be. Yeah. You're going to see it eventually. It just takes time. I know. It's like it's only been a month. I know. And that's major. Think about it. It is major. You got a caterpillar on your neck. I don't know. That doesn't bother me. I went to clap today and I was like. Can't even clap normal. I mean, they cut through muscle fibers and played around with tendons. This was just skin that they had to put all back together. I don't know. It's still gross. It's still a little tender because sometimes when I stretch my neck, oh, don't stretch that much. It's going to go. That's what you're worried about? Yes.

38:20 That would have to cut a vein or something. Yeah, that's when I do that. I'm like, ooh, I don't do that. I think that this video right here was the one that I was thinking of. It kind of goes along with what we were talking about just now a little bit. I think something that's going to repeat itself over and over and over again is that – actually, this came into my mind. I'm sorry. Let me kind of shift a little bit. Can we agree that the Bible's complicated? Absolutely. Can we also agree that the Old Testament is far more complicated? Oh, yes. There are things that happen in the Old Testament, and people say that it's like God condoning it. God's not condoning anything. Right. It's just what happened, okay?

39:08 And I'm reading Genesis right now. And so I get to the portion. There's a couple of things I'm not happy about, a couple of things I'm not happy with, things that people do. heroes of faith like Abraham and his nephew, nephew? I think his nephew, Lot. You know about Sodom and Gomorrah or whatever. And ultimately, his daughters, after Sodom and Gomorrah is destroyed, his daughters get him drunk and get impregnated by him. And I'm like, what? What? I've been doing a lot of evaluating of this story and I'm like... Why? I don't understand. So the thing that kind of jumps out to me, here's what I think. They literally think the world has been destroyed. They don't realize that Sodom and Gomorrah are the only thing that's been destroyed. They feel like we're the last people on earth. It's me, my sister, and my father. That's it. How are we going to survive? How are people going to continue on?

40:10 I think that's what they're thinking. They're thinking, we're the last of it, so we got to repopulate or we got to do something to keep us going. And I think that's what kind of the motivation is. And it also comes to this point to me, like what it revealed to me and what the Old Testament truly reveals to me over and over and over and over and over and over again is just how much God can do through messed up people. You know what I mean? Not perfected people. Not perfect people. Actually, not perfect people, perfected people, right? He has done things and can do things through the most messed up people ever. Saul was a murderer of Christians. Paul was a murderer of Christians, right? Becomes the greatest advocate for Christ in the New Testament.

41:06 One of the greatest advocates for Christ in the New Testament. Abraham, like... Did not, man, essentially gave his wife away twice so he wouldn't die, right? Sarah, his wife, abused the servant Hagar after she told him to get her pregnant. Then she gets jealous, and now she treats her like crap, right? And then eventually has Abraham send her away, right? These are... messed up people and look at what god did through them through them yeah you know what i mean think about it in the big picture that's what i see and so i think that that's why this stands out to me this little video right here and it's talking it's literally talking about not just feeling like once you come to christ you're supposed to be neat you're like everything gets neater and easier and cleaner it doesn't and he makes some good points Didn't fix nearly as much as I thought it would. I still get angry. I still struggle with lust. I still judge people. I still get jealous, insecure and selfish. And there are still days where I know exactly what God wants me to do. And I do the opposite. For a while, that bothered me. I thought getting closer to God was supposed to make me feel more holy.

42:29 But something completely different started happening. The closer I got to God. the more aware I became of parts of myself that still needed work. And maybe that's the point. You don't notice how dirty a room is until somebody turns the lights on. The lights don't create the mess. It just finally lets you see it. I'm starting to realize following Jesus isn't about convincing everyone I'm a good man. It's having the humility to admit when I'm not. Finding God didn't make me perfect. It made it harder for me to lie to myself. Finding... Lying to yourself. Made it harder for me to lie to myself. You know, that's the truth though. But we're perfected through the process, right? You don't show up perfect. Yeah. You get into this, people out there, you get into this relationship and somebody's lied to you, making you think that you are going to completely 360 your life.

43:22 That's not it. You will over time. but still not going to be perfect. You might be perfect. You know, you might perfect this part, this thing, but it's not going to be everything. You're going to perfect one thing at a time. And you might not be that perfect at that. You might fail at that again. You may get to a point where you're so good at a specific concept that you feel perfect at it, and then you fall off. Yeah. And forget and think, oh, man. I had that, and I messed that one up. Don't you know those are the times that we beat ourselves up the most? Yeah. The times that we see ourselves reverting back to something. And look, you are made new through Christ, right? Like when you're baptized, you go under. That's the symbolism is you go under, the sinner dies, and you come up new. It doesn't mean when you come out of the water that you're not still the person that went into the water.

44:20 You're still that person, right? But you have now been washed clean by the blood of Jesus Christ. You are the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus. Paul was too, and he still murdered Christians. Yes. You know what I'm saying? This is the point. The point is it's a long race. It's a marathon, not a sprint. It's not a 40 -yard dash. It's a lifetime. And the same things are going to come up over and over and over again. Over and over and over. Yes, sir. And there's going to be some success, and there's going to be some failure. Probably a lot of failure. There's going to be more failure than there ever is going to be. Yes, exactly. You know what I'm saying? I'm sorry. I mean, you can sit and say, yeah, I've had more. No. You sit and look back at your life, and you tell me how much perfect and failure you have. Because I'm telling you right now, I've had more failure than I've had perfect.

45:12 100%. I've learned a hell of a lot more through my failure than I have my success. Absolutely. Totally, absolutely. Because I don't know all my failures. I have you. You know, I've gone through all those things, and I found you. You know what I'm saying? So I'm not saying that's a, I mean. Well, I'm not the prize at the end of the rainbow. No, I'm just saying that, you know, I had to get where I am today to know what I lost and what I've gained. Right. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So I'm just saying it's been a good journey. It's been things that I've learned and, you know, trying to get my mom through some things that she's. denied all her life. And I'm like, Mom. And she's like, yeah, I get it. I understand. Like, you know, all our kids go to church and all our kids believe. And she's like, that's a burning point. I said, no, just give the glory to God. You know, we're all imperfect.

46:03 We were talking, we were sitting at the table and we were talking about, do you remember when he stabbed me? I was like, Mom, we don't need air in our dirty laundry. You know? Come on, Mom. We're all just going to sit here and we all love each other where we're at. And that's all that matters. We're all damaged. We're all going to love each other where we're at. We're going to make mistakes. We've made mistakes. There's probably more coming. We're going to keep moving on from there. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Living life, doing the best we can. Love them where they're at. Growing my relationship. And listen, starting at the start is a good place to start. Absolutely. Like if you've never come into a relationship with Christ, if you've never taken the step to start, that's a great place to be. is to start. The first step is the hardest one. But the thing is, is you're never going to develop your relationship unless you work at it. It's the same thing with our relationships with each other. Relationships don't develop just by going, hey, you're my friend and leaving it at that. You got to learn each other. You got to grow. You learn how to interact with each other. You learn how to not step on their toes when they don't need to be stepped on and all that kind of stuff. You learn to step on them whenever you need to step on them and those kinds of things. It's the same thing in relationship with Christ. We have to learn. And so if you're not in his word, if you're not in prayer, if you're not worshiping, you're not going to church in any way, shape, or form, you're

47:34 not in some sort of a group, small group, interacting with other believers, your relationship's going to stagnate and you're going to walk away. That's what's going to happen. It happens in real relationships, earthly relationships, all the time. And we don't have the patience for that. People do not have the patience. If they see stagnation in their relationships, gone. Get rid of them. Gone. Let me tell you something. Relationships stagnate. You spend enough time with somebody, you know everything about them. It's real easy to go, I'm sorry. I need something new. I choose better for myself than that. You know what I mean? Absolutely.

48:14 I think that being in a good relationship, being in a marriage, is worth being in. You just got to work at it. And the reward is long. Yeah, absolutely. Ready for a joke? Yep. This is a good one. Answer first. Answer first. Because they drive everyone nuts. Because they drive everyone nuts. Yes. Why don't squirrels have any friends? Because they drive everyone nuts.

48:55 Hey. That one was tough, Terry. I'm sorry. Yeah, sure. It's funny enough. Thomas Sewell. When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear. Okay. So when you want to help others, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear rather than the truth. Because a lot of times, the truth is not what you want to hear. No, it's not. No. What is it, 143? 143 today. Creeping up on that 150 mark. It's getting close. It's getting there. Coming quack. Quack.

49:55 Coming quick. It's like you're quack. Quack. Quack. Put on underwear to cover my quack. Quack. We love you guys. Thank you for coming. Keep on coming. If you are just beginning with us, man, stick with it. We'd love to hear from you. Email us. Reach out on our Facebook or Instagram. Reach out on, you know, give us comments on Spotify or YouTube, TikTok, whatever. We'd love to share this with you. We'd love to have you join the conversation. If you have opinions or thoughts about some of the things we talk about, want to add to it or subtract from it. If you feel like we have some bad theology or whatever or bad context, by all means, share your thoughts.

50:42 We're open to that. Other than that, share it with other people, man. We're here to be in community with each other and just make everyone's lives better. And so we love you. We thank you for being here. Peace. Peace out.