Letting Go Without Giving Up!

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.520
He gives us more grace. That is why scripture

00:00:02.520 --> 00:00:06.040
says, God opposes the proud, but shows favor

00:00:06.040 --> 00:00:09.320
to the humble. Submit yourselves then to God.

00:00:09.699 --> 00:00:12.720
Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come

00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:38.820
near to God and he will come near to you. Hello,

00:00:38.920 --> 00:00:41.359
everyone. Welcome to bumper sticker wisdom. I

00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:45.320
am John. I am Terry. Welcome to the new podcast

00:00:45.320 --> 00:00:49.560
studio small group. That's right. Nice. He did

00:00:49.560 --> 00:00:53.060
some awesome job. We're going to put some pictures

00:00:53.060 --> 00:00:57.399
and he worked really hard on this for. It took

00:00:57.399 --> 00:00:59.439
us a couple of weeks to get this together. Some

00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:01.840
circumstances change and we weren't able to continue

00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:06.159
keeping our studio where it was. So we kind of

00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:07.920
scrambled to figure out what we wanted to do

00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:10.879
or what we were gonna be able to do. We floated

00:01:10.879 --> 00:01:13.180
a few ideas. Can you imagine our original idea

00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:16.299
trying to do that? There's no way. There's no

00:01:16.299 --> 00:01:19.760
way. We wouldn't have had that done. It wouldn't

00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:25.959
have fit. It wouldn't have fit. We're still getting

00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:27.439
used to it. We're trying to figure out where

00:01:27.439 --> 00:01:30.159
cameras go and how to shoot them. We've always

00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:32.180
kind of gone with it directly in front of us.

00:01:34.109 --> 00:01:36.890
Now we get the side view. Yeah, yeah, it's a

00:01:36.890 --> 00:01:38.409
little different. It's a little weird. I'm used

00:01:38.409 --> 00:01:40.129
to having the camera in front of my face, which

00:01:40.129 --> 00:01:44.650
is also a timer. So it helps me. It's going to

00:01:44.650 --> 00:01:48.069
be a little different for sure. But, you know,

00:01:48.150 --> 00:01:50.790
we're proud to be continuing to do it. We're

00:01:50.790 --> 00:01:54.430
proud of this space that we've created. We're

00:01:54.430 --> 00:01:58.069
pretty well complete, minus I'm building some

00:01:58.069 --> 00:02:01.680
sound paneling. To help absorb echo. I can kind

00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:05.579
of hear echo in my ears right now Which you know

00:02:05.579 --> 00:02:07.760
me. I'm a very much a stickler about that. I

00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:11.000
like quality sound. Yeah, it's kind of one of

00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:12.960
the things when I first started like that was

00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:17.300
my To me that was the one way that we could stand

00:02:17.300 --> 00:02:20.560
out yeah, you know and so like if you take it

00:02:20.560 --> 00:02:23.300
seriously and and Put the effort into making

00:02:23.300 --> 00:02:27.300
the sound right. I want radio quality, you know,

00:02:27.300 --> 00:02:30.530
I want the voices to be crisp I don't want echo

00:02:30.530 --> 00:02:33.750
and feed. So, you know, there's some things to

00:02:33.750 --> 00:02:35.710
make that better. But in the grand scheme of

00:02:35.710 --> 00:02:40.449
things, it's a cool little room. It's a little

00:02:40.449 --> 00:02:43.069
tighter. It is a little tighter than we're used

00:02:43.069 --> 00:02:45.210
to. It wouldn't be as bad if we were sitting

00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:50.830
on ends, end to end, but it would, I still don't

00:02:50.830 --> 00:02:55.349
think it would work as well that way. You know.

00:02:56.600 --> 00:02:58.979
I don't think it would. I'm happy with it. I'm

00:02:58.979 --> 00:03:04.379
glad we're here. We'll do some snapshots of the

00:03:04.379 --> 00:03:07.860
room whenever we get complete and share it on

00:03:07.860 --> 00:03:12.060
socials. Other than that, we will say a quick

00:03:12.060 --> 00:03:15.759
prayer and we'll get started. Heavenly Father,

00:03:15.780 --> 00:03:17.939
we thank you as always for giving us this time,

00:03:18.039 --> 00:03:21.180
this opportunity. Father, we thank you for providing

00:03:21.180 --> 00:03:24.800
a space for us to do it. We also want to just

00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:27.039
take a minute to lift up anybody who's taking

00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:29.580
the opportunity to listen to us right now to

00:03:29.580 --> 00:03:32.240
That we just give them something father that

00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:34.860
you flow through us and out of us into into the

00:03:34.860 --> 00:03:37.379
air so that people can hear something that Just

00:03:37.379 --> 00:03:39.439
motivates them to get to know you better to want

00:03:39.439 --> 00:03:41.780
to draw near to you father God because we know

00:03:41.780 --> 00:03:43.699
That if we draw near to you father you will draw

00:03:43.699 --> 00:03:46.360
draw near to us We know that you've never left

00:03:46.360 --> 00:03:48.020
us and you've never forsaken us. You're always

00:03:48.020 --> 00:03:50.810
there just waiting right for us father God We

00:03:50.810 --> 00:03:52.250
love you, we thank you for your goodness, your

00:03:52.250 --> 00:03:53.770
mercy, and your grace, and it's in Jesus' name

00:03:53.770 --> 00:04:02.370
we pray. Amen. So anyway, it's been a couple

00:04:02.370 --> 00:04:07.069
weeks. So one week we tore this room apart, which

00:04:07.069 --> 00:04:10.169
was essentially an extension of our kitchen.

00:04:13.310 --> 00:04:17.779
It was storage for... stuff, you know, a pantry

00:04:17.779 --> 00:04:20.180
and things like that. We made some serious adjustments

00:04:20.180 --> 00:04:24.180
to that. We had a freezer in here. It's a little

00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:26.160
strange. Our freezer is now in the laundry room

00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:29.199
and our pantry is now a closet in the hallway

00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:31.259
and, and all that kind of stuff. But it seems

00:04:31.259 --> 00:04:32.879
to be working out just fine. It's a little bit

00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.379
of getting used to adjustment. The space for

00:04:35.379 --> 00:04:37.660
me is a little bit odd. Like I feel weird. I'm

00:04:37.660 --> 00:04:39.959
used to, I've been doing it in that place. I've

00:04:39.959 --> 00:04:42.420
been sitting in the same spot. Everything in

00:04:42.420 --> 00:04:44.579
the same position for the last year and a half

00:04:44.579 --> 00:04:47.620
almost and so I'm a little bit out of sorts right

00:04:47.620 --> 00:04:50.660
now I feel a little weird But again proud to

00:04:50.660 --> 00:04:53.519
be here proud of what God is doing and allowing

00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:57.279
us to be here And I don't plan on letting it

00:04:57.279 --> 00:05:00.360
go. I feel like this is part of what God has

00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:03.379
called me to do and That's why we're here. We

00:05:03.379 --> 00:05:05.259
just want to help people and dogs are not gonna

00:05:05.259 --> 00:05:07.579
be very happy, but yeah No, they got to get stuck

00:05:07.579 --> 00:05:11.129
outside while we do this Cause they would raise

00:05:11.129 --> 00:05:15.550
hell. Oh man. Uh, I, we, you know, when we first

00:05:15.550 --> 00:05:17.990
started, me and Jason Beltray would sit in there

00:05:17.990 --> 00:05:20.870
with us. He would sit under the table. It was

00:05:20.870 --> 00:05:24.790
one, three big boys too. Not even little boys.

00:05:25.430 --> 00:05:28.970
We do good. It's Pudge. I worry about. He's very

00:05:28.970 --> 00:05:32.870
vocal. He's very, very vocal. He likes to just,

00:05:33.290 --> 00:05:40.800
I mean, yes. So annoying. Be nice to him, he's

00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:48.100
a good boy. I found it, it's really been interesting

00:05:48.100 --> 00:05:50.259
with this, and it's funny because I had no idea

00:05:50.259 --> 00:05:53.759
that that was on the cover of that. That's how

00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:56.019
we started Bible Roulette, that's what that is.

00:05:57.720 --> 00:05:59.439
They've been in a sermon series at church the

00:05:59.439 --> 00:06:02.860
last three weeks on rest. And the scripture that's

00:06:02.860 --> 00:06:05.300
on this is Exodus 33, 14, my presence will go

00:06:05.300 --> 00:06:07.060
with you and I will give you rest. That's why

00:06:07.060 --> 00:06:10.199
I caught my attention a minute ago. I had no

00:06:10.199 --> 00:06:13.660
idea that was there. And it's more rest in like,

00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:17.500
yes it's rest and like slow down, stop burning

00:06:17.500 --> 00:06:21.819
the candle at both ends, but it's also rest assured,

00:06:22.180 --> 00:06:25.000
right? Rest in confidence, right? Confidence

00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:29.220
in that God's got you. And it's been really an

00:06:29.220 --> 00:06:32.579
interesting, process to think about and then

00:06:32.579 --> 00:06:35.800
you know, I've been doing some things differently

00:06:35.800 --> 00:06:40.319
recently and I'm kind of starting I'm gonna I'm

00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:45.000
still not gonna serve Permanently, I'm like I

00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:46.660
thought that you were talking to Tory. Did you

00:06:46.660 --> 00:06:51.000
tell her? Yeah, I'm still taking this month off

00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:54.199
Speaking of which I have something to tell you

00:06:54.199 --> 00:07:00.230
but I have to work this Sunday because One of

00:07:00.230 --> 00:07:03.389
the other teachers is leaving town, so he can't

00:07:03.389 --> 00:07:07.449
be there. They're going to a wedding or something,

00:07:08.129 --> 00:07:10.689
so good for him. I've told him numerous times

00:07:10.689 --> 00:07:12.910
he needs to take some time off. Good job, Bruxy.

00:07:13.329 --> 00:07:17.089
Yeah, so. But you know who else is going to fill

00:07:17.089 --> 00:07:21.029
in? But anyway, it's just more thinking about

00:07:21.029 --> 00:07:24.990
like. For me, I've been praying a lot about my

00:07:24.990 --> 00:07:30.259
place. And what I'm doing and. I've become very

00:07:30.259 --> 00:07:34.939
overwhelmed with Responsibility and I feel very

00:07:34.939 --> 00:07:37.800
responsible to things like I have a innate nature

00:07:37.800 --> 00:07:41.240
about me about that. Yeah About feeling like

00:07:41.240 --> 00:07:43.660
you're doing so good And I was so proud on Sunday

00:07:43.660 --> 00:07:46.500
that one kid that we talked about over he came

00:07:46.500 --> 00:07:48.980
over and said hey That's cuz I waved at him and

00:07:48.980 --> 00:07:52.100
told him get over here. Oh you did I was excited

00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:53.879
now, you know, we're talk to his parents and

00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:57.089
I said hey You got great kids, you know, yeah,

00:07:57.110 --> 00:07:58.709
you know them getting into the bible especially

00:07:58.709 --> 00:08:01.189
this one I said he is going to be a great young

00:08:01.189 --> 00:08:04.829
man I can see it already that he is going to

00:08:04.829 --> 00:08:07.790
be and you could tell the dad was kind of like

00:08:07.790 --> 00:08:11.509
I'm a very bold person in any way. I'm just like

00:08:11.509 --> 00:08:15.329
hey, you know, you definitely are that So to

00:08:15.329 --> 00:08:17.370
pull people out of their comfort zones, it's

00:08:17.370 --> 00:08:20.790
you know, it's just it's people are just like

00:08:20.790 --> 00:08:23.360
don't know how to take other people that are

00:08:23.360 --> 00:08:26.819
like that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I

00:08:26.819 --> 00:08:28.899
think my biggest issue is like I just don't want

00:08:28.899 --> 00:08:31.279
to like there's a couple of things that are my

00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:34.659
problem psychologically and emotionally or like

00:08:34.659 --> 00:08:39.019
I feel responsible to people, right? And I feel

00:08:39.019 --> 00:08:40.519
responsible because I feel like other people

00:08:40.519 --> 00:08:42.840
won't feel the gap. So I feel like I have to

00:08:42.840 --> 00:08:46.440
feel the gap. And then there's this idea of not

00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:48.340
wanting like not wanting to let people down.

00:08:49.700 --> 00:08:52.740
Because and then there and that's all stems from

00:08:52.740 --> 00:08:57.539
one issue that issue being Having always felt

00:08:57.539 --> 00:09:00.299
like my presence was unnecessary or like not

00:09:00.299 --> 00:09:02.799
wanted and so I try to make myself valuable.

00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:04.159
Does that make sense? I know that's a little

00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:07.000
strange, but I try to make myself Valuable because

00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:09.600
then people require and want your presence. Does

00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:12.759
that make sense? I think that's what I've been

00:09:12.759 --> 00:09:15.000
struggling through for a long time It's something

00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:17.460
that goes all the way back to when I was a kid

00:09:18.549 --> 00:09:20.210
and it's something I've been working through.

00:09:20.429 --> 00:09:22.090
It's kind of like someone was telling me today

00:09:22.090 --> 00:09:27.990
or on Sunday about um surrendering. Yeah. And

00:09:27.990 --> 00:09:30.909
I was like, it's not the easiest thing to do.

00:09:30.990 --> 00:09:34.110
I was like, so I'm praying for that. And I said,

00:09:35.110 --> 00:09:38.690
you're going to pray some harder. Oh, that's

00:09:38.690 --> 00:09:40.850
right. We have to talk about that. This will

00:09:40.850 --> 00:09:43.149
come out after the surgery happens, but you're

00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:46.129
having your surgery this coming Monday. And that

00:09:46.129 --> 00:09:48.690
means a lot. Let's talk through that. Talk to

00:09:48.690 --> 00:09:51.830
me about it. It means that she's worried about

00:09:51.830 --> 00:09:56.370
it getting done right. If anybody watched the

00:09:56.370 --> 00:09:58.350
episode a couple of weeks ago, I'm just joking.

00:09:58.470 --> 00:10:00.850
I'm just joking. So, yeah, so. So and she did

00:10:00.850 --> 00:10:05.450
she everything just to the point to the P dotted

00:10:05.450 --> 00:10:09.850
eyes, teeth. And I was just like, OK, yes, ma

00:10:09.850 --> 00:10:12.370
'am. I said so because I told her about, you

00:10:12.370 --> 00:10:15.490
know, having surgery and You know, she was, did

00:10:15.490 --> 00:10:17.370
you, were you calling me about the two, the Thursday

00:10:17.370 --> 00:10:20.009
thing? I was like, no, I was just, just reaching

00:10:20.009 --> 00:10:22.090
this to check on YouTube. And she's like, no.

00:10:22.090 --> 00:10:25.590
Oh yeah. And she's like, well, God told me that

00:10:25.590 --> 00:10:27.370
you're needing something. What are you getting?

00:10:27.610 --> 00:10:29.610
As I'm having surgery and she's like, Hey, what

00:10:29.610 --> 00:10:31.309
are you needing? What do you need prayers for?

00:10:31.389 --> 00:10:34.070
I was like, and she, I didn't have to say that

00:10:34.070 --> 00:10:39.429
she was surrendering. I'm like, Oh, I just went.

00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:43.519
Maybe you know you want to talk about a person

00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:47.299
that like it's such a great like outward example

00:10:47.299 --> 00:10:52.960
My hand just did not want to grab that I think

00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:57.299
I got a little moist. It's a little moist a Person

00:10:57.299 --> 00:10:59.539
who gives off an example of like this is what

00:10:59.539 --> 00:11:01.220
it looks like when the Holy Spirit speaks through

00:11:01.220 --> 00:11:03.740
you and to you You know what I mean? Like she

00:11:03.740 --> 00:11:07.500
is Yeah, it's so cool to watch. She is amazing.

00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:11.519
Just so just and the only way that that makes

00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:14.799
sense, is it's like she says things to you that

00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:17.779
there's no way, there's no way she would know

00:11:17.779 --> 00:11:20.399
that. And she doesn't actually know, it's just

00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:23.220
what she hears. And when they say hear, it's

00:11:23.220 --> 00:11:25.840
not like an audible voice, it's just like it's

00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:28.159
the word that comes into your mind in that moment

00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:30.139
and things like that. It's like the reason I

00:11:30.139 --> 00:11:33.740
started the podcast today with the James chapter

00:11:33.740 --> 00:11:36.240
four verse eight, it's draw near to me and I

00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:40.620
will draw near to you. All day yesterday well

00:11:40.620 --> 00:11:43.200
up before you know the last few weeks up before

00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:45.480
we start worship I would get the Bible and I'll

00:11:45.480 --> 00:11:47.539
just kind of scan through I just open it and

00:11:47.539 --> 00:11:51.080
start scanning And whatever I'm drawn to I will

00:11:51.080 --> 00:11:55.659
read through it right and then it seems Uncanny

00:11:55.659 --> 00:11:58.840
how God will speak that into right whatever's

00:11:58.840 --> 00:12:01.399
coming at me. Yeah, and that's all I could hear

00:12:01.399 --> 00:12:04.679
yesterday It's about surrender drawn near to

00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:08.480
me. Yeah, trust me. Let me love you Love you.

00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:10.600
I got you. I'm not gonna let you down. Yeah,

00:12:10.679 --> 00:12:12.620
and I think that that's the hardest thing for

00:12:12.620 --> 00:12:16.200
people Yeah, because we've the examples we've

00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:19.159
been given our whole lives Have let us down.

00:12:19.480 --> 00:12:21.740
Yeah, you know, I mean it's like a solid lady

00:12:21.740 --> 00:12:24.340
today when I went to do my pre -op First I've

00:12:24.340 --> 00:12:26.799
ever had, you know, I've never had anything I'm

00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:29.019
off because I had a two wool, but that's not

00:12:29.019 --> 00:12:31.340
like, you know But it's like this is the first

00:12:31.340 --> 00:12:34.059
surgery and I'm not nervous about it You know,

00:12:34.059 --> 00:12:36.019
it's the aftermath that you're concerned about.

00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:38.580
Yes, you can have someone to help you Yes. I'm

00:12:38.580 --> 00:12:40.379
going to have someone help me. Well, apparently

00:12:40.379 --> 00:12:43.159
you don't need me. Well, and people are like,

00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:45.940
yes, when you're, when you have that, they have

00:12:45.940 --> 00:12:49.620
a dead in your muscle nerve block. They say that's

00:12:49.620 --> 00:12:51.340
very painful to come back from. Like when it

00:12:51.340 --> 00:12:53.580
starts coming back, it's shocking. Yeah. Okay.

00:12:53.580 --> 00:12:56.240
So I had a nerve block when I did my elbow. Well,

00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:59.860
not my elbow, but bicep tendon in my elbow. So

00:12:59.860 --> 00:13:03.759
when I came home, I could feel this part, but

00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:07.679
from here to here, It was dead. It was the weirdest

00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:10.580
feeling, especially on my neck, because it made

00:13:10.580 --> 00:13:12.200
it feel like it was spreading into my throat

00:13:12.200 --> 00:13:15.019
and like I couldn't swallow. So it was kind of

00:13:15.019 --> 00:13:19.379
strange in that way, but it. It's very strange

00:13:19.379 --> 00:13:21.279
coming back because it just kind of starts to

00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:23.759
tingle. I'm sorry. I've had tingling for the

00:13:23.759 --> 00:13:26.720
last three months. This is like, right. But it's,

00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:29.580
it's shocking at first whenever, whenever the

00:13:29.580 --> 00:13:32.340
scent, it took a few days for that to come back.

00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:36.919
Remember? That was strange. And I've never had

00:13:36.919 --> 00:13:38.600
surgery either. That was my first time to ever

00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:42.279
have any kind of surgery. So yeah, it's gonna

00:13:42.279 --> 00:13:46.940
be weird. And I think that the interesting thing

00:13:46.940 --> 00:13:49.019
that's gonna be to me, I'm curious to see how

00:13:49.019 --> 00:13:52.179
you feel after the fact. I think your hands and

00:13:52.179 --> 00:13:54.639
stuff are gonna feel fine, but your neck's gonna

00:13:54.639 --> 00:13:59.100
be in pain. You're gonna wear a neck brace, dude.

00:13:59.100 --> 00:14:02.600
That is the worst. Have you ever had a neck brace?

00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:06.340
No. Okay. No, I have to have one. I have to wear

00:14:06.340 --> 00:14:09.340
a hard one and a soft one. Soft one when you're

00:14:09.340 --> 00:14:13.700
at home. I just sleep in a soft one. That's going

00:14:13.700 --> 00:14:16.399
to be weird too. At first you're going to feel

00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:17.620
claustrophobic. It's going to feel like you're

00:14:17.620 --> 00:14:19.820
choking. You know what I mean? You're going to

00:14:19.820 --> 00:14:21.419
feel like that. She asked me today, she says,

00:14:21.500 --> 00:14:23.539
do you snore? And I'm like, what? How do you

00:14:23.539 --> 00:14:27.820
know if you snore? I don't know. I can tell you.

00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:29.740
I was like, well, my husband says I snore, but

00:14:29.740 --> 00:14:32.580
I don't know. Sometimes I can, I don't know.

00:14:33.019 --> 00:14:34.279
Sometimes I get up with a sore throat. Maybe,

00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:36.759
I don't know. No, you don't snore like that.

00:14:36.840 --> 00:14:39.179
I mean, I told her, I said, I don't, do you know

00:14:39.179 --> 00:14:41.460
if you snore? Cause I was like, is that a real

00:14:41.460 --> 00:14:43.700
question? Most people who do snore don't think

00:14:43.700 --> 00:14:48.100
they snore. I mean, I'm like, maybe, no, I don't,

00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:50.919
I don't know. I mean, this question she was asking

00:14:50.919 --> 00:14:53.759
me, I was like, How are you supposed to know?

00:14:53.940 --> 00:14:56.220
I'm asleep. I'm basically dead. What are you

00:14:56.220 --> 00:14:59.600
talking about? Well, I would tell you, you snore

00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:01.480
lightly most of the time. There's occasions where

00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:03.460
it gets a little heavier than others, but it's

00:15:03.460 --> 00:15:05.799
based on the way you're laying. If you're laying

00:15:05.799 --> 00:15:09.700
on your, I don't think you're bad on your back.

00:15:09.779 --> 00:15:11.519
It's more like in certain ways when you're on

00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:18.620
your side. But I don't think, you don't snore

00:15:18.620 --> 00:15:24.100
like I snore. Very few do ask your children.

00:15:24.100 --> 00:15:31.200
It's like It sounds like somebody's tearing the

00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:33.039
house down I'm not gonna lie to you and Laura

00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:36.220
said we will never room with you again. I'm not

00:15:36.220 --> 00:15:40.139
quiet. She was Your husband I did not sleep.

00:15:40.139 --> 00:15:43.399
I was like, oh, I guess I'm just so used to it

00:15:43.399 --> 00:15:45.600
I mean, you know, especially when you drink it's

00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:50.559
like you don't I'm like That was a long time

00:15:50.559 --> 00:15:56.139
ago. I have a CPAP now. Yes. That was weird at

00:15:56.139 --> 00:15:58.019
first, too, though. Oh, but your CPAP was driving

00:15:58.019 --> 00:16:00.580
me nuts. I'd have to touch it. When? Last night,

00:16:00.659 --> 00:16:03.600
it was like... Oh, I got a little whistle? Yes,

00:16:03.620 --> 00:16:09.039
and I was like, oh my god. It's funny because

00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:12.080
when I touch it, it stops. I clean my face. I

00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:14.299
wipe it every single day, every single night,

00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:17.139
but it's when my hair starts growing out, because

00:16:17.139 --> 00:16:19.840
it's only from here to here. Yeah, it doesn't

00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:26.519
go below my chin. So this don't matter It's from

00:16:26.519 --> 00:16:28.879
here to here Yeah, and so like when this starts

00:16:28.879 --> 00:16:31.820
to grow out it like creates little it's cuz those

00:16:31.820 --> 00:16:34.879
hairs are harder Well, and they're prickly. I

00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:37.100
put that thing on my face so tight. Sometimes

00:16:37.100 --> 00:16:39.179
it makes me uncomfortable It's like, you know

00:16:39.179 --> 00:16:41.519
what I mean smashing into my it's like when your

00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:47.000
mom did your hair Yeah, yeah But I, you know,

00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:48.799
that's, I don't think that's right either. You

00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:51.700
wake up and you got fricking strap marks in your

00:16:51.700 --> 00:16:54.840
face. Like, you know what's funny? I can tell

00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:57.600
people that wear CPAPs now. Cause I like, I saw

00:16:57.600 --> 00:16:59.659
somebody walking through church yesterday morning

00:16:59.659 --> 00:17:02.860
and it was like big, big streaks across their

00:17:02.860 --> 00:17:07.460
face. That's a CPAP mask. 100 % without question.

00:17:07.460 --> 00:17:10.539
Oh my goodness. Yes. But yeah, so the the whole

00:17:10.539 --> 00:17:12.480
point of surrender like I think that's an interesting

00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:14.799
topic because and we've talked about it numerous

00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:16.500
times And I think it's something that you will

00:17:16.500 --> 00:17:20.039
continually work. You have to work at yeah and

00:17:20.039 --> 00:17:23.819
for you You're such a doer. Mm -hmm, right? This

00:17:23.819 --> 00:17:26.940
is gonna be very difficult for you. It is especially

00:17:26.940 --> 00:17:30.660
that first couple of weeks and Today I said I'm

00:17:30.660 --> 00:17:32.039
gonna let you know you better get used to this

00:17:32.039 --> 00:17:34.420
because I'm not gonna be able to lift I mean

00:17:34.420 --> 00:17:37.190
I'm not gonna be able to been over a whole lot.

00:17:37.410 --> 00:17:40.609
I mean, I'm not going to be able to like, I'm,

00:17:40.650 --> 00:17:42.849
I'm not going to be able to carry a tray of food.

00:17:43.410 --> 00:17:46.589
I mean, it's going, you know, that's, that's

00:17:46.589 --> 00:17:48.410
it. I'm not going to be able to help you wrap

00:17:48.410 --> 00:17:51.089
babies up. I'm not going to be able to help you

00:17:51.089 --> 00:17:54.690
do any of this for at least a month. Yeah. So

00:17:54.690 --> 00:17:56.710
it's going to be hard for you. That part. That's

00:17:56.710 --> 00:17:58.970
the part that concerns me. That's the part I'm

00:17:58.970 --> 00:18:00.630
stressed about. It's not the surgery itself.

00:18:00.769 --> 00:18:04.210
That doesn't bother me. I, I fully trust in the

00:18:04.210 --> 00:18:06.490
hands. I'm telling you right now, I'm getting

00:18:06.490 --> 00:18:09.809
one. I'm telling you, one. I've seen people numerous,

00:18:09.930 --> 00:18:15.329
I've had like five, and I'm like, no. No, people

00:18:15.329 --> 00:18:19.950
have back soldiers, I'm three, no. No, I'm, no.

00:18:21.349 --> 00:18:25.470
No, I'm not, no, no, no. Hopefully this will

00:18:25.470 --> 00:18:28.490
be enough. One, and I'm gonna make do of it.

00:18:28.789 --> 00:18:31.210
You want me to do that? Okay. Are they doing

00:18:31.210 --> 00:18:33.849
the continental at the same time? Yes. So you're

00:18:33.849 --> 00:18:35.269
getting both surgeries at the same time? Both

00:18:35.269 --> 00:18:38.930
surgeries at the same time. So on one hand? Yes,

00:18:39.029 --> 00:18:42.890
the one hand. The left hand? Yes, this one. I

00:18:42.890 --> 00:18:44.150
don't know why you wouldn't have done your bowling

00:18:44.150 --> 00:18:50.210
hand. Why? Nope. It's my bowling hand and my

00:18:50.210 --> 00:18:52.170
jigger head. I probably won't go back to get

00:18:52.170 --> 00:18:54.089
this one done. I'll just do this and I'll be

00:18:54.089 --> 00:19:05.769
fine. Why? I'm good. Why not? This is the one

00:19:05.769 --> 00:19:07.609
that hurts anyway. This is the one that... That

00:19:07.609 --> 00:19:10.089
hurts from... I mean, I'm sure it has something

00:19:10.089 --> 00:19:11.809
to do with carpal tunnel, but a lot more of it

00:19:11.809 --> 00:19:14.490
has to do with your neck. Yeah. This is the one

00:19:14.490 --> 00:19:16.190
that hurts the most. This is the one that tingles

00:19:16.190 --> 00:19:18.950
the worst. This is the one that... I probably

00:19:18.950 --> 00:19:21.809
should do this one, but... You're good. She said,

00:19:21.890 --> 00:19:24.930
I'm good. But yeah, the idea of surrender, like

00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:28.829
it's any concept that you can think of in the

00:19:28.829 --> 00:19:32.450
Christian walk, you're going to repeat it. Many,

00:19:32.450 --> 00:19:34.750
many, many, many, many, many, many times. So,

00:19:35.130 --> 00:19:36.670
you know, I've been playing around with chat

00:19:36.670 --> 00:19:41.230
GPT, right? Yeah. So I took a lot. 15 years.

00:19:41.269 --> 00:19:45.730
I know I took 15 years worth of things that I've

00:19:45.730 --> 00:19:51.789
written from poetry to academics to. Stories,

00:19:51.950 --> 00:19:54.069
whatever all the stuff I wrote and I shared it

00:19:54.069 --> 00:19:56.390
with him. It makes me laugh because he has been

00:19:56.390 --> 00:20:00.339
in conversations with chat GPT. That's me. You

00:20:00.339 --> 00:20:03.299
don't talk to me. I do, but I don't talk to you

00:20:03.299 --> 00:20:05.640
like that, but it's funny. It's weird. It's the

00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:07.799
weirdest thing. But it's funny because I'm sitting

00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:09.740
over there just, I'm looking at my phone and

00:20:09.740 --> 00:20:13.319
I'm like, he's like, hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm

00:20:13.319 --> 00:20:16.880
-hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm

00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:19.579
-hmm, mm -hmm. Well, it's talking about me. I

00:20:19.579 --> 00:20:21.599
know, but it's funny. It's weird. Because you're

00:20:21.599 --> 00:20:24.880
just like, yep, yep, that's me, yep, babe, babe,

00:20:24.980 --> 00:20:31.960
and I'm like, what? Yes. I'm just like, now what?

00:20:33.380 --> 00:20:34.740
And some of it is interesting. Well, I'll leave

00:20:34.740 --> 00:20:37.759
it alone. No, but it's funny because you were

00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:40.660
just so intrigued. Like it just, it's like a

00:20:40.660 --> 00:20:43.019
little kid. You're like, babe. And I'm like,

00:20:43.180 --> 00:20:45.539
and some of it is interesting. I'm like, well,

00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:46.960
okay. So think about it like this though. It's

00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.920
like new technology, right? So it's just like

00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:52.200
a new thing in life. Like I've never, I've stayed

00:20:52.200 --> 00:20:54.440
away from AI completely up until like the last

00:20:54.440 --> 00:20:56.880
three months. You know what I mean? I never touched

00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:59.380
it. Don't play with it. Nothing. Right. But at

00:20:59.380 --> 00:21:01.799
the end of the day, it is a tool that is available

00:21:01.799 --> 00:21:04.420
to us. And like in order for me to grow a business,

00:21:04.500 --> 00:21:08.220
you have because you are very, very non did not

00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:11.059
want to touch it. I had an interesting conversation

00:21:11.059 --> 00:21:16.119
with it that made me change my perspective. It's

00:21:16.119 --> 00:21:18.460
about how you use it just like anything else.

00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:22.299
Right. Right. Snapchat's not bad. It's how you

00:21:22.299 --> 00:21:25.019
use it. Facebook's not bad. Instagram's not bad.

00:21:25.349 --> 00:21:27.990
those things are not inherently bad it's the

00:21:27.990 --> 00:21:30.650
user that makes it bad absolutely and so that's

00:21:30.650 --> 00:21:32.769
what caused me to change my mind it's like okay

00:21:32.769 --> 00:21:36.369
yeah it's a tool available how foolish would

00:21:36.369 --> 00:21:39.269
i be to not use the right no i totally i totally

00:21:39.269 --> 00:21:40.950
get what you're saying yes that's what caused

00:21:40.950 --> 00:21:43.109
me to start playing with it more and i'm not

00:21:43.109 --> 00:21:45.170
even just playing it's not just a game i'm not

00:21:45.170 --> 00:21:48.349
just having fun with it i'm talking to it about

00:21:48.349 --> 00:21:51.740
our ministry about how to grow and start business

00:21:51.740 --> 00:21:54.240
and like what are avenues that we can take it

00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:57.720
and we'll tell them our new goals and right here

00:21:57.720 --> 00:22:00.880
that I this was things that we came up with through

00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:03.640
I came up with through chat GPT so these are

00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:06.480
our top five goals number one is glorify Christ

00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:10.059
that's number one yes God first number one absolutely

00:22:10.059 --> 00:22:15.140
love people yes absolutely speak the truth absolutely

00:22:15.140 --> 00:22:18.210
build a legacy That's what we're trying to build

00:22:18.210 --> 00:22:21.029
legacy. And remain faithful in everything that

00:22:21.029 --> 00:22:23.069
we do. Be faithful to everything that God's trying

00:22:23.069 --> 00:22:26.329
to steward through us. And so yeah, I've been

00:22:26.329 --> 00:22:28.890
trying, I've been using it. And so part of me

00:22:28.890 --> 00:22:30.670
is like, okay, these things that I have written

00:22:30.670 --> 00:22:32.670
are intellectual properties. I don't share it

00:22:32.670 --> 00:22:37.390
with people. I'm scared to death of that. It

00:22:37.390 --> 00:22:40.670
knows things that very few people do. It has

00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:43.150
so much information that it can garner from all

00:22:43.150 --> 00:22:47.220
over the world, all throughout history. Nobody

00:22:47.220 --> 00:22:49.680
else has but he even gave you a compliment about

00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:56.180
hey Speaking you as a third person That was one

00:22:56.180 --> 00:22:59.200
of my favorite ones What was it when you when

00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:01.059
he said when you talked about it? Well, hey,

00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:03.980
don't don't finish it off. Hey get back on there

00:23:03.980 --> 00:23:05.579
Oh, yeah. Yeah the way I write it was talking

00:23:05.579 --> 00:23:07.759
about how I write it's very interesting and like

00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:10.759
One of the things it said which is true. Yeah,

00:23:10.759 --> 00:23:12.859
it's like as I'm writing. It's like your thoughts

00:23:12.859 --> 00:23:15.740
are coming out as you're writing it It's like

00:23:15.740 --> 00:23:19.319
a very interesting way of writing, it's like

00:23:19.319 --> 00:23:22.920
you're speaking to somebody, and that's how I

00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:25.880
intend to write. When I write, that's how I write,

00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:28.099
is because I want you to feel like I'm talking

00:23:28.099 --> 00:23:30.940
to you, and that you're engaged in the conversation,

00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:34.609
right? And I will be, like... As I write down

00:23:34.609 --> 00:23:36.089
this part where I'm like, okay, you're right.

00:23:36.190 --> 00:23:38.170
I'm ranting. Sorry, I need to back the back up,

00:23:38.250 --> 00:23:40.849
john, slow down. I write that in what I'm writing,

00:23:41.190 --> 00:23:42.849
which is awesome, because I thought I thought

00:23:42.849 --> 00:23:45.769
that was funny. But for you to do that, and for

00:23:45.769 --> 00:23:47.509
you to say, Hey, well, I like the way you write,

00:23:47.509 --> 00:23:50.950
because it was like, well, the way you just talk

00:23:50.950 --> 00:23:54.589
to yourself, you know, it's weird. No, but it

00:23:54.589 --> 00:23:57.750
was talking about you. But it gave you compliments,

00:23:57.890 --> 00:24:00.140
right? So one of the things that it said, though,

00:24:00.180 --> 00:24:01.559
and it's the thing that we're talking about when

00:24:01.559 --> 00:24:03.039
I was talking about how we're going to go through

00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:04.980
this walk and we're going to face similar things

00:24:04.980 --> 00:24:07.500
over and over again. It doesn't mean you're starting

00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:09.279
from square one, though. That's what I was trying

00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:12.920
to say. So like you may face this issue of surrender

00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:16.480
repetitively. Right. But you face it from a different

00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:19.559
point of view every single time. Right. So community

00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:21.880
is one for me. Right. I've been writing about

00:24:21.880 --> 00:24:26.380
it for 15 years. Yes. Right. And talking about

00:24:26.380 --> 00:24:31.170
it and the way that it described just from reading

00:24:31.170 --> 00:24:35.410
from 2011 to 2026, like, okay, here's the arc.

00:24:36.009 --> 00:24:39.349
Let me point out the pattern. Let me show you

00:24:39.349 --> 00:24:42.130
what this looks like. And it's like, look, this

00:24:42.130 --> 00:24:44.089
is one thing, and then this is what it sounds

00:24:44.089 --> 00:24:47.029
like today. It's completely different. That's

00:24:47.029 --> 00:24:49.809
growth. We don't recognize our growth in the

00:24:49.809 --> 00:24:53.450
midst of it. So it was crazy to have this tool.

00:24:55.019 --> 00:24:57.000
Explain that to me or express that to me because

00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:00.279
it's like I've said many times like yeah I'm

00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:02.019
not where I'm supposed to be but I'm a hell of

00:25:02.019 --> 00:25:04.740
a lot further than where I was Yes, but I can't

00:25:04.740 --> 00:25:07.220
fathom that in my head. Like I can't I still

00:25:07.220 --> 00:25:09.799
feel like I'm at square one When it comes to

00:25:09.799 --> 00:25:11.460
community when we always think of ourselves that

00:25:11.460 --> 00:25:14.759
way. Anyway, we don't always think we we We want

00:25:14.759 --> 00:25:16.920
to be here, but we don't think we're we want

00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:19.460
to be at the destination not in the not in the

00:25:19.460 --> 00:25:22.400
journey Right, right because I think you've came.

00:25:22.700 --> 00:25:25.109
I think you've come a long ways compared to where

00:25:25.109 --> 00:25:28.829
you used to be sure sure i do too in ways in

00:25:28.829 --> 00:25:35.009
ways as a follower of christ there are things

00:25:35.009 --> 00:25:36.609
that i've been dealing with from the beginning

00:25:36.609 --> 00:25:39.269
that i haven't come past yet but there are a

00:25:39.269 --> 00:25:41.529
lot of things that aren't really an issue anymore

00:25:41.529 --> 00:25:46.369
a lot do i still get angry yeah but not as much

00:25:46.369 --> 00:25:49.630
as i used to right you don't know that you don't

00:25:49.630 --> 00:25:52.630
know the john from when I was 21. I know that's

00:25:52.630 --> 00:25:55.089
what Crystal tells me all the time. You don't

00:25:55.089 --> 00:25:58.309
know that person. You know bits and pieces of

00:25:58.309 --> 00:26:01.670
him, very small portions. You've seen it in small

00:26:01.670 --> 00:26:06.470
doses, but I've, and that's what scared me originally.

00:26:06.470 --> 00:26:08.809
That's what made me say, I feel like I need help

00:26:08.809 --> 00:26:12.490
because I started feeling like I was going back

00:26:12.490 --> 00:26:15.390
to that place, right? I haven't been there in

00:26:15.390 --> 00:26:20.859
years and years and years again. Well, my Temperament

00:26:20.859 --> 00:26:25.440
flash sure of course But it was starting to get

00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:30.660
to be much more Common and that scared me. Yeah,

00:26:30.839 --> 00:26:33.160
because I felt like I feel like I'm going backwards

00:26:33.160 --> 00:26:35.839
and that's the last thing I can allow right,

00:26:36.019 --> 00:26:38.099
right If we're not going forward then we're not

00:26:38.099 --> 00:26:40.240
moving right, you know what I mean? So I don't

00:26:40.240 --> 00:26:42.480
want to be going backwards. I'd rather stand

00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:45.859
still if that's the case exactly. Yeah But staying

00:26:45.859 --> 00:26:48.619
still is not always good either, you know, I

00:26:48.619 --> 00:26:52.940
think Can I ask you a question? What is it about

00:26:52.940 --> 00:26:56.059
surrendering that's bothering you so much? I

00:26:56.059 --> 00:27:00.380
don't know. I don't know. Because can I tell

00:27:00.380 --> 00:27:03.539
you from the outside looking in how that, what

00:27:03.539 --> 00:27:07.700
that says? It says like you don't trust the people

00:27:07.700 --> 00:27:12.369
around you. You know, it's so funny because I

00:27:12.369 --> 00:27:14.329
do trust the people around me. Yeah, I do trust

00:27:14.329 --> 00:27:15.869
the people around me And again, I'm not saying

00:27:15.869 --> 00:27:17.890
you don't I'm just saying that that's what that

00:27:17.890 --> 00:27:21.549
projects whenever you say yeah, I can't I can't

00:27:21.549 --> 00:27:25.289
let that I can't let go because What was the

00:27:25.289 --> 00:27:27.890
reason is like playing our baggage down, right?

00:27:28.250 --> 00:27:31.130
You know, it's for hard me. It's just still I

00:27:31.130 --> 00:27:34.390
can lay it down. Oh But you got a string and

00:27:34.390 --> 00:27:38.490
you're still dragging it You know just just making

00:27:38.490 --> 00:27:40.890
sure it's still there, you know Still looking

00:27:40.890 --> 00:27:43.369
back, okay, it's still there. Okay, still got

00:27:43.369 --> 00:27:45.150
it. Is that not all of us? Is that, you know,

00:27:45.309 --> 00:27:48.970
so it's not like it's like, do I trust that God

00:27:48.970 --> 00:27:52.609
has me? Do I, do I know that the, you know, the

00:27:52.609 --> 00:27:55.849
surgeon that he's going to cut on me is the best

00:27:55.849 --> 00:27:58.690
surgeon ever? Yes. I believe that, you know,

00:27:58.829 --> 00:28:00.650
everybody's praying. I mean, it's going to do

00:28:00.650 --> 00:28:03.970
I, yes, I believe in all of that. Yeah. I believe

00:28:03.970 --> 00:28:07.250
this is going to go great. But for me to sit

00:28:07.250 --> 00:28:11.369
on that couch and there, to do nothing, that

00:28:11.369 --> 00:28:15.230
bothers me. For me to do nothing and be lazy,

00:28:15.910 --> 00:28:18.970
that's my biggest thing. I just... Okay, so it

00:28:18.970 --> 00:28:21.789
can't be nothing, because that's worse for you.

00:28:22.809 --> 00:28:24.170
We just have to find out what the boundaries

00:28:24.170 --> 00:28:27.309
are. True. And set the boundaries and follow

00:28:27.309 --> 00:28:29.390
the boundaries. That's the whole deal. It's not

00:28:29.390 --> 00:28:33.190
don't do a damn thing. It's... Don't do this,

00:28:33.190 --> 00:28:35.269
that, and the other, right? There's things that

00:28:35.269 --> 00:28:37.009
you can't, absolutely cannot do. I know I can't

00:28:37.009 --> 00:28:39.970
bend over for two weeks. I know I can't. Well,

00:28:40.150 --> 00:28:41.890
how the hell are you gonna take a crap? Well,

00:28:42.009 --> 00:28:44.369
I mean, I know that I can sit down. I just can't

00:28:44.369 --> 00:28:46.369
like seriously like bend over and tie my shoes.

00:28:46.950 --> 00:28:49.789
I can't. For two weeks. Two weeks. I cannot do

00:28:49.789 --> 00:28:51.210
that. We all had to go get you some new slip

00:28:51.210 --> 00:28:55.630
-ons. Hard dog destroyed them. Yes. Jerk face

00:28:55.630 --> 00:28:59.180
and my wallet. Yes. He only destroyed a few things

00:28:59.180 --> 00:29:01.799
in my mind. Nothing serious. I can't bend over

00:29:01.799 --> 00:29:05.859
at all. I can't like my head cannot be. Yeah.

00:29:05.859 --> 00:29:07.759
You can't let the weight put. Okay. I understand

00:29:07.759 --> 00:29:10.279
that for two weeks. I can't do that at all. I

00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:14.019
can't bend over. That's what I understood for

00:29:14.019 --> 00:29:15.920
that. I can't bend over to that. Well, so the

00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:19.420
good news is post surgery, I'll be with you.

00:29:19.420 --> 00:29:22.220
Mm -hmm, and yeah, I will take all the instructions

00:29:22.220 --> 00:29:24.559
Yeah, she's someone come with you. I was like

00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:27.039
give me my husband you give him all the instructions

00:29:27.039 --> 00:29:29.400
I will make sure you follow the instructions

00:29:29.400 --> 00:29:31.480
my medicine and she's she was asking me. What

00:29:31.480 --> 00:29:37.000
is this for and I was like What's that one word

00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:43.380
don't ask for that one is either Personal moment,

00:29:43.380 --> 00:29:45.359
I'm not gonna she's asked me what all these medicines

00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:49.589
are I can't be that old person it's my medicine

00:29:49.589 --> 00:29:53.170
with all the bottles i can't i've seen that so

00:29:53.170 --> 00:29:55.309
many times do that yeah i just took pictures

00:29:55.309 --> 00:29:59.470
of it here's my medicine and says yeah yeah well

00:29:59.470 --> 00:30:01.950
the reason i asked the question though is because

00:30:01.950 --> 00:30:04.309
it's not just a problem for you it's a problem

00:30:04.309 --> 00:30:08.089
for all of us right and so you're i'm kind of

00:30:09.950 --> 00:30:11.789
Unfortunately, I'm kind of throwing you under

00:30:11.789 --> 00:30:13.829
the bus and making you answer a question that

00:30:13.829 --> 00:30:16.910
you can't really answer. And I'm stating something

00:30:16.910 --> 00:30:18.930
that sounds like I'm accusing you of something.

00:30:19.049 --> 00:30:22.089
I'm not accusing you of anything. I do understand,

00:30:23.390 --> 00:30:25.769
but what I'm trying to do is like, okay, how

00:30:25.769 --> 00:30:27.809
can we relate that to our relationship with God?

00:30:28.789 --> 00:30:35.559
How do we rest? Surrender. Mean definitely our

00:30:35.559 --> 00:30:38.940
message was so awesome Sunday. It was it was

00:30:38.940 --> 00:30:41.200
so good, you know, it was I was so engaged But

00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:42.880
you know what's crazy. This is one of the weird

00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:46.099
times in my life. I can't remember anything I

00:30:46.099 --> 00:30:48.900
mean, it's weird. That's never happens. But it

00:30:48.900 --> 00:30:50.980
was it was such a good message. It really honestly

00:30:50.980 --> 00:30:59.259
really was it was It was nice it was great, but

00:30:59.259 --> 00:31:03.160
normally I'm such a mental note -taker I normally

00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:07.200
have bits and pieces that I remember. All gone.

00:31:08.579 --> 00:31:10.779
And maybe I just committed it to heart and leave

00:31:10.779 --> 00:31:13.859
it at that, but being able to enter into his

00:31:13.859 --> 00:31:16.920
rest, being able to surrender to him, to surrender

00:31:16.920 --> 00:31:20.039
to his plan, right? That's like your Bible roulette,

00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:22.160
you know what I mean? It's like, trust in the

00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:24.019
Lord with all your heart. Don't lean on your

00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:26.279
own understanding. In all your ways, submit to

00:31:26.279 --> 00:31:30.619
him. That's a surrender is submit, and he will.

00:31:32.069 --> 00:31:36.089
Make your past straight. Yeah, right. It's Easy

00:31:36.089 --> 00:31:39.329
to say. Yeah, it's a hell of a lot harder to

00:31:39.329 --> 00:31:44.349
apply. Yeah No, absolutely. You know, it's just

00:31:44.349 --> 00:31:48.250
it's harder to do things The right way because

00:31:48.250 --> 00:31:49.230
you want to always you want to do everything

00:31:49.230 --> 00:31:51.430
the right way. I want to do things the wrong

00:31:51.430 --> 00:31:54.069
way Yeah, but to do them the right way. It's

00:31:54.069 --> 00:31:58.349
so harder to you know I think that and having

00:31:58.349 --> 00:32:01.779
spent, you know, this will actually have a a

00:32:01.779 --> 00:32:06.099
session with my counselor tomorrow. I was wondering

00:32:06.099 --> 00:32:08.960
when that was coming up. Yeah, it's two weeks.

00:32:12.220 --> 00:32:15.180
The thing that I'm really recognizing is the

00:32:15.180 --> 00:32:16.819
thing that helps me. I don't know what helps

00:32:16.819 --> 00:32:19.859
everybody else. It's just being challenged to

00:32:19.859 --> 00:32:22.980
think about it in a different way. It's like,

00:32:23.539 --> 00:32:26.960
why does that bother you so much? Why are you

00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:30.259
feeling that way? Why? That's a challenging stinking

00:32:30.259 --> 00:32:33.000
question Because there are things going on inside

00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:36.200
of my head that I've been doing for decades Yeah

00:32:36.200 --> 00:32:39.559
You know for years and years and years and guess

00:32:39.559 --> 00:32:43.279
what that's that baggage. It's comfortable So

00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:46.059
we get comfortable in our dysfunction right and

00:32:46.059 --> 00:32:52.059
so it feels easier to deal with the Chaos than

00:32:52.059 --> 00:32:54.619
it does to deal with life when it's not chaotic

00:32:54.619 --> 00:32:59.029
right right. It's like I Finally got to a place

00:32:59.029 --> 00:33:04.990
where I'm like Wow There's no one else for me

00:33:04.990 --> 00:33:09.109
to mess with or focus on except for myself That's

00:33:09.109 --> 00:33:13.509
to be in your own mind. That's a scary It's a

00:33:13.509 --> 00:33:17.230
scary place man. It's a it's a minefield of BS

00:33:17.230 --> 00:33:22.369
man. Let me tell you it cut there Literally if

00:33:22.369 --> 00:33:24.890
we can make people to understand how to take

00:33:24.890 --> 00:33:27.910
thoughts captive And look, you have to vocalize

00:33:27.910 --> 00:33:29.589
it. You can't just think it. That's the weirdest

00:33:29.589 --> 00:33:31.710
thing for people. It's like talking to yourself,

00:33:31.730 --> 00:33:33.470
but it's not quite talking to yourself. It's

00:33:33.470 --> 00:33:35.849
talking to the thought. When that thought comes

00:33:35.849 --> 00:33:38.569
in your head about the thing that takes you down

00:33:38.569 --> 00:33:44.109
the rabbit hole, right? Let me try to think of

00:33:44.109 --> 00:33:48.970
an example. Okay, this happens in couples all

00:33:48.970 --> 00:33:55.009
the time. You don't answer the phone for numerous

00:33:55.009 --> 00:33:57.960
times. or don't answer a text message. Yeah.

00:33:58.299 --> 00:34:01.200
What's going on? Are you okay? Right. And so

00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:04.200
your death, the thought that comes into your

00:34:04.200 --> 00:34:07.759
mind, it's innocent in a way. Yeah, because there's

00:34:07.759 --> 00:34:10.920
concern. It's like, but you go, Well, maybe she's

00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:14.300
mad at me. Or maybe he's mad at me. Or are you

00:34:14.300 --> 00:34:16.559
hearing ambulance? You're like, Oh, right. You

00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:21.639
know, or I'm gonna go to the bar with some friends.

00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:23.739
You know what I'm saying? And you've been gone

00:34:23.739 --> 00:34:26.179
an extended period of time. It's like, okay.

00:34:27.199 --> 00:34:29.460
You know what I mean? You can't just dwell in

00:34:29.460 --> 00:34:33.179
the thought you have to go. Wait, hold on. Take

00:34:33.179 --> 00:34:36.219
your mind captive. Number one. If she does that,

00:34:36.219 --> 00:34:38.599
that's on her. Or if he does that, that's on

00:34:38.599 --> 00:34:41.019
them. And that's not something I can control.

00:34:41.179 --> 00:34:45.960
Right. But. Do I love this person? Do I trust

00:34:45.960 --> 00:34:49.760
this person? Because if I do shut up up, you

00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:52.969
know what I'm saying? That's that's. And you

00:34:52.969 --> 00:34:54.989
have to say it you got to keep telling yourself

00:34:54.989 --> 00:34:57.610
you have to remind yourself, you know, you're

00:34:57.610 --> 00:35:00.969
you got to tell your mind self, you know The

00:35:00.969 --> 00:35:03.469
devil's just putting those things into your brain

00:35:03.469 --> 00:35:05.570
Yeah, because all he wants you to do is just

00:35:05.570 --> 00:35:08.550
like he wants to put evil thoughts into your

00:35:08.550 --> 00:35:12.070
head 100 % Yeah, he wants to make you doubt he

00:35:12.070 --> 00:35:15.010
wants to make you not just doubt God doubt the

00:35:15.010 --> 00:35:17.269
people around you doubt the things that are sacred

00:35:17.269 --> 00:35:19.929
Yeah, and sanctified. Yeah, you know, there's

00:35:19.929 --> 00:35:24.500
nothing in my life that's more precious to me

00:35:24.500 --> 00:35:28.460
than my relationship with you and my marriage,

00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:32.659
right? And because of my own self -doubt and

00:35:32.659 --> 00:35:40.320
my own history, I'm terrified all the time that

00:35:40.320 --> 00:35:43.119
it's gonna break apart. You know what I mean?

00:35:43.579 --> 00:35:46.039
Now that's not your fault. There's nothing that

00:35:46.039 --> 00:35:48.480
you've done to make me feel that way. But it

00:35:48.480 --> 00:35:52.619
doesn't stop me from feeling that way. It's my

00:35:52.619 --> 00:35:57.960
job to go, hey, that's not who she is. She hasn't

00:35:57.960 --> 00:35:59.820
ever showed you that. She's never showed you.

00:35:59.960 --> 00:36:04.960
Well, one time maybe. I found a sock in the driveway

00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:09.500
and it was over some stupid. That's the worst

00:36:09.500 --> 00:36:11.300
part. But anyway, that's beside the point. That

00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:15.230
was the what maybe. Ten years ago at least eleven

00:36:15.230 --> 00:36:17.030
years ago. This is a home to blended families.

00:36:17.170 --> 00:36:19.949
It's hard. Oh, yeah blended families guys Just

00:36:19.949 --> 00:36:22.110
be patient with each other. It's gonna be okay

00:36:22.110 --> 00:36:27.590
It's hard. It is hard But it's worth it if you

00:36:27.590 --> 00:36:32.909
can make it But I'm just saying I'm so all of

00:36:32.909 --> 00:36:36.840
the reasons that I doubt Has nothing to do with

00:36:36.840 --> 00:36:39.260
anything that's happened between us. It's from

00:36:39.260 --> 00:36:41.079
things that happened in my past So there that

00:36:41.079 --> 00:36:43.960
is that fishing line that I keep I hold on to

00:36:43.960 --> 00:36:46.420
that baggage. Oh, there it is. I still see it

00:36:46.420 --> 00:36:48.679
Yeah, still there that could happen again. I

00:36:48.679 --> 00:36:51.280
need to protect myself, right? Right. That's

00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:55.619
all that is. Yeah, right and That's in a way

00:36:55.619 --> 00:37:00.360
is just not trusting I have to trust you It's

00:37:00.360 --> 00:37:02.920
no different than with God. I have to trust God

00:37:04.309 --> 00:37:07.869
Life gets hard. It does get hard and we didn't

00:37:07.869 --> 00:37:11.750
we don't go back we We don't go back to trusting,

00:37:11.750 --> 00:37:15.570
you know, yeah, what's your first instinct? To

00:37:15.570 --> 00:37:18.690
guard yourself to just take what you needed captives

00:37:18.690 --> 00:37:21.730
and hold it But we just gotta learn to stop and

00:37:21.730 --> 00:37:24.909
trust God because God knows the plan he has for

00:37:24.909 --> 00:37:29.030
us Yeah, just have to trust God that he knows

00:37:29.030 --> 00:37:31.769
what's best for us. We all have a natural instinct

00:37:31.769 --> 00:37:35.679
to survive. Yep, right fight or flight right

00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:39.659
it's it's it's fight or run yep right it's funny

00:37:39.659 --> 00:37:43.440
just bringing that up because the chat gpt monster

00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:46.360
said that i definitely have a strong fight reflex

00:37:46.360 --> 00:37:50.260
yeah dude yes you do not me i'm not of a flight

00:37:50.260 --> 00:37:53.119
person the crazy thing is is it's it's interesting

00:37:53.119 --> 00:37:55.760
because it only knows the things that we've talked

00:37:55.760 --> 00:38:00.239
about right so it doesn't know that in my this

00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:02.519
is why i think people really are uncomfortable

00:38:02.519 --> 00:38:07.079
with me because I know me well enough to know

00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:10.179
that if I stick around in a situation, I will

00:38:10.179 --> 00:38:12.780
fight, so I just fly. I just leave. That's why

00:38:12.780 --> 00:38:15.800
I'm like, I gotta go. You know what I'm saying?

00:38:15.940 --> 00:38:22.199
I'm quick to pull the plug because I can be vicious,

00:38:22.380 --> 00:38:24.760
man, and I don't wanna be that person. So I will

00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:29.840
just leave. I won't even say a word. I'll tell

00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:31.980
you because I love you, and I'm like, okay, I

00:38:31.980 --> 00:38:36.730
gotta go. I'll come back and get you but I'm

00:38:36.730 --> 00:38:40.550
leaving yeah, that's happened what many times

00:38:40.550 --> 00:38:46.269
Actually happened Where I said I gotta go and

00:38:46.269 --> 00:38:49.170
meet you leave me there I've only left. I don't

00:38:49.170 --> 00:38:51.969
think I've ever left you okay I'm just saying

00:38:51.969 --> 00:38:54.949
I would but you won't let me no I would never

00:38:54.949 --> 00:38:59.010
just like okay. Come on. Give me God I'll text

00:38:59.010 --> 00:39:03.610
you when I'm ready. That's like you But then,

00:39:03.670 --> 00:39:05.449
you know what would happen? I'd be over there

00:39:05.449 --> 00:39:07.630
stewing in my head. You know what I mean? I'd

00:39:07.630 --> 00:39:09.250
be like, she just stayed behind me and me and

00:39:09.250 --> 00:39:10.809
her over there talking trash about, she'd say,

00:39:10.809 --> 00:39:13.570
talking trash about me too. I guarantee it, right?

00:39:13.610 --> 00:39:14.969
And think about it. Like you were talking about,

00:39:15.210 --> 00:39:16.690
you were talking about your friend a couple of

00:39:16.690 --> 00:39:21.530
weeks ago, like at the bar, and she went and

00:39:21.530 --> 00:39:23.030
sat in the car and he stayed in there and had

00:39:23.030 --> 00:39:25.110
like three or four more drinks and it's like.

00:39:25.730 --> 00:39:30.530
I would never. No. No. You're tired. Ready to

00:39:30.530 --> 00:39:32.940
go home. Let's go. Give me a couple minutes to

00:39:32.940 --> 00:39:35.460
tell my bye -bye. It might be 30 minutes, but

00:39:35.460 --> 00:39:37.440
I'm gonna tell my bye. Oh yeah, bye's are tough

00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:43.699
with you. Okay, okay, bye. See you later. You'll

00:39:43.699 --> 00:39:47.760
say bye to the same person like 18 times. But

00:39:47.760 --> 00:39:49.159
you gotta think about it. Like that's just the

00:39:49.159 --> 00:39:53.059
way that is, man. And it's, I think that the

00:39:53.059 --> 00:39:55.079
identification here is like, okay, so how do

00:39:55.079 --> 00:39:57.260
we trust not only in God, how do we trust in

00:39:57.260 --> 00:39:59.150
each other? Right, how do we trust in people

00:39:59.150 --> 00:40:01.349
because in this position that you're fixing to

00:40:01.349 --> 00:40:05.530
be in You have to rely on people. It's all about

00:40:05.530 --> 00:40:08.369
communication. It's all about how Yeah, the things

00:40:08.369 --> 00:40:10.269
I want and I have been doing better about hey,

00:40:10.329 --> 00:40:13.190
can you help me with this? But how many times

00:40:13.190 --> 00:40:16.909
have I had to get on to you about 300 pounds

00:40:16.909 --> 00:40:20.550
of freaking okay. I made a new rule That look

00:40:20.550 --> 00:40:23.530
that trash can 50 gallon trash. Listen 55 gallon

00:40:23.530 --> 00:40:27.030
trash can full to the rim with grass But it wasn't

00:40:27.030 --> 00:40:31.869
wet. It was probably, it was probably 150 pounds.

00:40:31.889 --> 00:40:36.130
It was not 150 pounds. It was not 150 pounds.

00:40:36.489 --> 00:40:40.329
I lived it with my, with the great, how they

00:40:40.329 --> 00:40:48.389
teach you to lift it. Bend. And up. It was 150

00:40:48.389 --> 00:40:50.650
pounds. Okay. And you're not willing to lift

00:40:50.650 --> 00:40:54.250
that at the gym, so don't do it outside. This

00:40:54.250 --> 00:40:57.230
is my money. We're talking about. But you have

00:40:57.230 --> 00:40:59.289
a partner. That's that's my thing. That's the

00:40:59.289 --> 00:41:01.369
only it's like, dude, I'm right here. That's

00:41:01.369 --> 00:41:05.849
true. All you got to do is say I'll help or just

00:41:05.849 --> 00:41:08.190
wait a second. I'd like two strips and I'll get

00:41:08.190 --> 00:41:15.650
this. No, it's funny. Life is interesting. It

00:41:15.650 --> 00:41:20.889
is interesting. It's a. It's fun, as challenging

00:41:20.889 --> 00:41:26.110
as it is. There's a level of satisfaction that

00:41:26.110 --> 00:41:28.789
comes with learning and growing. And learning

00:41:28.789 --> 00:41:31.690
each other, you know? Yeah. I mean, think about

00:41:31.690 --> 00:41:35.650
that. We've been together for 15 years, we're

00:41:35.650 --> 00:41:39.070
going on 16 years, and we still don't know everything.

00:41:39.210 --> 00:41:41.349
Absolutely not. We still run into situations

00:41:41.349 --> 00:41:44.610
where we don't respond right. You know what I

00:41:44.610 --> 00:41:50.349
mean? Right. I guess the thing is, dual submission

00:41:50.349 --> 00:41:57.360
is hard. Yep. learning how to surrender to each

00:41:57.360 --> 00:42:02.719
other, to God, to the world is hard. I mean,

00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:05.460
I get it. I understand. It's hard. It's fricking

00:42:05.460 --> 00:42:08.599
hard to just not, you know what I mean? Especially

00:42:08.599 --> 00:42:12.539
when you're so used to relying on yourself. It's

00:42:12.539 --> 00:42:14.739
hard to not all of a sudden. Now I'm not gonna

00:42:14.739 --> 00:42:17.460
rely on me. I've been the only person I could

00:42:17.460 --> 00:42:23.730
trust for years. And it's crazy to me that like,

00:42:23.989 --> 00:42:26.530
you know, there was the joke about last week

00:42:26.530 --> 00:42:29.750
about going back to my ex if you divorce me.

00:42:30.190 --> 00:42:33.489
Because you will be my ex so I'm going wherever

00:42:33.489 --> 00:42:36.750
you go. That to me is like, that's real. You

00:42:36.750 --> 00:42:38.730
know what I mean? Like I don't care what happens.

00:42:39.469 --> 00:42:42.650
I really don't. I'm not saying that like if something

00:42:42.650 --> 00:42:45.190
crazy happened, I wouldn't be heartbroken over

00:42:45.190 --> 00:42:48.289
it or whatever. But I'm not going anywhere. I

00:42:48.289 --> 00:42:52.469
refuse. Yeah. I've been through enough tough

00:42:52.469 --> 00:42:55.190
stuff in life to let, like, how much harder can

00:42:55.190 --> 00:42:58.449
it get? Right. I mean, and I say that, don't

00:42:58.449 --> 00:43:01.929
let, Lord, don't challenge me. You know what

00:43:01.929 --> 00:43:04.510
I mean? Like, I'm not saying it like that, but

00:43:04.510 --> 00:43:07.130
I'm just saying, like, I've been through a lot

00:43:07.130 --> 00:43:09.750
of challenging things in life. I've had a counselor

00:43:09.750 --> 00:43:11.769
and a pastor both look at me in my face and go,

00:43:11.929 --> 00:43:13.730
man, it's amazing you're still here. I know.

00:43:13.949 --> 00:43:15.829
You know what I'm saying? Like, Come on guys,

00:43:16.070 --> 00:43:18.070
like when I say that I've been through some things,

00:43:18.090 --> 00:43:19.909
I've been through some things, okay? I'm not

00:43:19.909 --> 00:43:22.389
lying to you. I'm not lying to you. Now, is my

00:43:22.389 --> 00:43:24.690
story worse than anybody else's? No, everybody's

00:43:24.690 --> 00:43:30.289
got things, you know what I mean? But it's...

00:43:30.289 --> 00:43:35.389
I love our relationship and I love what has happened

00:43:35.389 --> 00:43:37.510
through our relationship. It's been reciprocal,

00:43:37.590 --> 00:43:39.989
it's gone both ways. I've helped you and you've

00:43:39.989 --> 00:43:42.170
helped me and that's what you want in a relationship,

00:43:42.409 --> 00:43:46.119
right? It's like... You want mutual love mutual

00:43:46.119 --> 00:43:50.400
respect and look every now and again? The evidence

00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:52.719
of love isn't this obvious and every now and

00:43:52.719 --> 00:43:54.579
again the evidence of respect isn't as obvious

00:43:54.579 --> 00:43:57.500
things fall apart sometimes Bad things happen

00:43:57.500 --> 00:44:00.980
attitudes happen tough Outer worlds leak into

00:44:00.980 --> 00:44:03.199
your life You know what I mean like you have

00:44:03.199 --> 00:44:05.739
friends that you care about and you start You

00:44:05.739 --> 00:44:07.659
know their drama starts to leak into your life

00:44:07.659 --> 00:44:11.920
occasionally it happens it happens It happens,

00:44:12.460 --> 00:44:15.059
but there is nothing That makes me feel like

00:44:15.059 --> 00:44:18.760
my life would be better with you removed from

00:44:18.760 --> 00:44:27.500
it. So there's no point in that. I care how bad

00:44:27.500 --> 00:44:31.000
it gets. It's worth it. It's worth it because

00:44:31.000 --> 00:44:34.260
I've never grown more in my life. I've never

00:44:34.260 --> 00:44:38.679
been more satisfied in my relationship. I actually,

00:44:39.119 --> 00:44:41.539
I just happen to sleep with my best friend. That's

00:44:41.539 --> 00:44:45.139
the weird thing. You are my best friend. Everything

00:44:45.139 --> 00:44:48.539
that I do, we do to, I mean, don't get me wrong,

00:44:48.619 --> 00:44:49.840
there are things that I'm interested in that

00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:54.719
you're not, but it's not all that much. You know

00:44:54.719 --> 00:44:56.619
what I mean? It's really not. You watch sports

00:44:56.619 --> 00:45:00.000
with me. I mean, everything's the same. We're

00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.579
the same kind of people. We're just a little

00:45:02.579 --> 00:45:06.039
bit different in ways. The only thing that's

00:45:06.039 --> 00:45:10.579
different for me is like, I find certain aspects

00:45:10.579 --> 00:45:13.900
of history. interesting and things like that.

00:45:14.139 --> 00:45:16.659
That's it. It's just certain tastes are different,

00:45:16.760 --> 00:45:19.900
right? I like ranch. You will detest it, right?

00:45:20.500 --> 00:45:24.880
Or sour cream. Anything white. You eat cream

00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:30.559
cheese now. Yeah, but that soup I made yesterday.

00:45:30.840 --> 00:45:34.019
Yes, but I didn't see it. You didn't see it.

00:45:34.300 --> 00:45:37.840
So, but it was in there. You didn't watch it

00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:40.099
go in, but it was in there. It was in there.

00:45:40.219 --> 00:45:44.039
It was mixed in and it had good flavor. It did.

00:45:44.340 --> 00:45:46.300
It did. But you see what I'm saying? It's like,

00:45:46.480 --> 00:45:48.000
yeah, of course we're different people. So there's

00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:50.159
going to be things that are not the same. You

00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:51.280
know what I mean? There's going to be things.

00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:54.139
Yes, but we're all, we're all different flavors

00:45:54.139 --> 00:45:57.079
and different kinds. We all bleed the same color.

00:45:57.139 --> 00:45:59.039
Just telling you. We all bleed the same color

00:45:59.039 --> 00:46:02.179
and we're all, we're all just different. You

00:46:02.179 --> 00:46:05.800
know? I'm fortunate in my life. Like, you know,

00:46:06.780 --> 00:46:09.739
I look back and there's nothing. in my past that

00:46:09.739 --> 00:46:16.360
I want. Nothing. Nothing. Right. Most of it,

00:46:16.420 --> 00:46:19.519
you know, I still have my kids, so that doesn't

00:46:19.519 --> 00:46:21.760
count. If I didn't learn from my past, I wouldn't

00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:23.659
be where I am today. I wouldn't be the person

00:46:23.659 --> 00:46:26.539
I am today. Yeah. I wouldn't be where I wouldn't

00:46:26.539 --> 00:46:30.420
be with you if I didn't learn what I did in my

00:46:30.420 --> 00:46:32.920
past. Yeah. Well, look, your past is part of

00:46:32.920 --> 00:46:35.019
what shapes you. Yeah. Right. And that's important

00:46:35.019 --> 00:46:38.579
to understand, but you can't live there. No,

00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:41.340
you just you have to learn from it. There's a

00:46:41.340 --> 00:46:45.619
problem is some people learn Some people don't

00:46:45.619 --> 00:46:48.360
it's just like those two people, you know, they

00:46:48.360 --> 00:46:52.179
have the same abusive mom or whatever Oh, yeah.

00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:54.179
Yeah. Yeah, you know, they have that same abusive

00:46:54.179 --> 00:46:57.719
mom one one followed They did the same thing

00:46:57.719 --> 00:47:00.500
their mom did one did not. Yeah, so, you know

00:47:00.500 --> 00:47:03.360
the exact same reason Yeah, I grew up in a bit

00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:06.349
being abused being an abuser Because she was

00:47:06.349 --> 00:47:08.550
an abuser and I grew up not being an abuser because

00:47:08.550 --> 00:47:11.150
she was an abuser same thing with uh, you know

00:47:11.150 --> 00:47:14.369
It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that's true though. Yeah

00:47:14.369 --> 00:47:17.849
same circumstance different outcome Right, you

00:47:17.849 --> 00:47:20.429
know, it's just like, you know people say oh

00:47:20.429 --> 00:47:22.630
Some people talk about people's kids your kids

00:47:22.630 --> 00:47:25.369
gonna go to prison your kids gonna do this your

00:47:25.369 --> 00:47:29.070
kids You know what? Let's not speak that let's

00:47:29.070 --> 00:47:32.409
speak life over this and if it becomes then that's

00:47:32.409 --> 00:47:36.650
fine But we're not gonna speak death over anything,

00:47:37.289 --> 00:47:40.730
we're going to try and speak life over things

00:47:40.730 --> 00:47:42.829
that we need to speak life over. Because that's

00:47:42.829 --> 00:47:45.690
what's wrong with our world today, because there's

00:47:45.690 --> 00:47:48.809
not enough of that in our world. Well, it's not

00:47:48.809 --> 00:47:52.190
enough. There's no positivity anymore. None.

00:47:52.250 --> 00:47:55.250
Right? Not at all. We talked several weeks ago

00:47:55.250 --> 00:47:58.800
about that woman who... tap me on my shoulder

00:47:58.800 --> 00:48:01.179
because I was wearing that shirt, right? And

00:48:01.179 --> 00:48:02.760
it's the first time in my life that something

00:48:02.760 --> 00:48:04.079
like that's happened. Of course, I'm wearing

00:48:04.079 --> 00:48:06.519
a billboard saying to do it, but I didn't expect

00:48:06.519 --> 00:48:08.079
it to happen. It never happened. Something like

00:48:08.079 --> 00:48:11.079
that doesn't happen, right? But it did. And the

00:48:11.079 --> 00:48:13.400
thing is, is I noticed my surroundings, right?

00:48:13.420 --> 00:48:14.980
I noticed what was going on around me. We're

00:48:14.980 --> 00:48:18.559
in Walmart. Everybody's hateful. Everybody's

00:48:18.559 --> 00:48:24.159
hateful. We were there last weekend. I did not

00:48:24.159 --> 00:48:27.199
even go to Walmart. I was already like Me myself

00:48:27.199 --> 00:48:32.480
included because I was like, I'm walking through

00:48:32.480 --> 00:48:34.940
my gun. I'm like, I'm going to punch you. I'm

00:48:34.940 --> 00:48:37.139
going to punch you. I went in yesterday. I went

00:48:37.139 --> 00:48:42.199
in there to get an extended HDMI cable. It's

00:48:42.199 --> 00:48:47.119
some, uh, that was called the cord clamp cord

00:48:47.119 --> 00:48:49.559
clip thing. You still clip cords back. Yeah.

00:48:50.260 --> 00:48:52.500
And yeah, you can feel the vibe. As soon as you

00:48:52.500 --> 00:48:57.320
walk through the door, it's just, just Evil I'm

00:48:57.320 --> 00:49:00.159
like no evil, but it was just you can feel the

00:49:00.159 --> 00:49:02.900
negativity Right, you know woman. That's our

00:49:02.900 --> 00:49:05.500
job right there. That's what we're supposed to

00:49:05.500 --> 00:49:07.360
do We're just supposed to be a light in the dark

00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:10.360
world and I tried it. I'm trying to like smile

00:49:10.360 --> 00:49:17.760
Okay, goodness, excuse me just a foul look on

00:49:17.760 --> 00:49:20.239
your face and not a word. I'm like okay yeah

00:49:20.239 --> 00:49:22.699
okay well excuse you I am really trying to be

00:49:22.699 --> 00:49:24.019
nice to you and you're making it really hard

00:49:24.019 --> 00:49:26.519
for me what's funny the other day or a couple

00:49:26.519 --> 00:49:28.460
of weeks ago we were at the convenience store

00:49:28.460 --> 00:49:30.380
getting an energy drink or whatever in the morning

00:49:30.380 --> 00:49:34.820
and that young man came in and you're like Somebody

00:49:34.820 --> 00:49:36.679
said something, I think the person at the counter

00:49:36.679 --> 00:49:38.039
said something, and you're like, don't you love

00:49:38.039 --> 00:49:40.239
it when they respond and he starts chattering

00:49:40.239 --> 00:49:42.860
back at you. I was like, okay, all right. And

00:49:42.860 --> 00:49:45.039
he goes, he goes, I'm sorry, good morning. I

00:49:45.039 --> 00:49:49.000
said, oh, well, good morning. Yeah. Yes. Well,

00:49:49.179 --> 00:49:50.840
good morning to you. You have a blessed day.

00:49:50.920 --> 00:49:53.199
Yeah, you have a blessed day. He made sure. Yeah,

00:49:53.320 --> 00:49:55.440
I sure did. You have a blessed day too. And I

00:49:55.440 --> 00:49:59.940
said, yes, sir, you too. Bless one. But it's

00:49:59.940 --> 00:50:02.159
interesting how that works, you know what I mean

00:50:02.159 --> 00:50:06.719
like yes, you know you It's hard sometimes too

00:50:06.719 --> 00:50:09.039
when we're out here in the world and and you're

00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:13.320
like You hold the door open for someone or something

00:50:13.320 --> 00:50:15.300
like that and I'm probably a little too soft

00:50:15.300 --> 00:50:18.159
-spoken Because I'm sure people don't like I

00:50:18.159 --> 00:50:21.440
respond a lot of times when I do but it's like

00:50:21.440 --> 00:50:26.199
I'm a non person like men I mean, I will not

00:50:26.199 --> 00:50:29.809
have people, you know, I just not you know Well,

00:50:29.829 --> 00:50:32.389
normally men you know not you know women you

00:50:32.389 --> 00:50:36.369
want to like smile, you know or whatever and

00:50:36.369 --> 00:50:41.269
Yeah depends. Yeah not older People you they

00:50:41.269 --> 00:50:48.789
want to hear vocal, you know, so yeah, it's uh,

00:50:48.789 --> 00:50:51.889
I I'm a hold the door open for people kind of

00:50:51.889 --> 00:50:55.570
person I know i've always done that I I and now

00:50:55.570 --> 00:50:57.369
there's this thing about not doing that like

00:50:57.369 --> 00:51:01.130
that's a disrespectful and i'm Like let me a

00:51:01.130 --> 00:51:03.130
little for you. I said what of course, you know

00:51:03.130 --> 00:51:04.869
me i'm like just because i'm a woman I can't

00:51:04.869 --> 00:51:07.469
hold the door for you And they're like no i'm

00:51:07.469 --> 00:51:10.050
like, okay I just want you to know I can hold

00:51:10.050 --> 00:51:13.369
it all for you, too You know and they're like

00:51:13.369 --> 00:51:16.989
Okay, just like it's just like a handshake. Yeah,

00:51:17.070 --> 00:51:20.269
I understand that but that's the thing though

00:51:21.139 --> 00:51:24.360
I was not, that's not how I was taught. Manners

00:51:24.360 --> 00:51:28.219
for me are that I hold, I wait for you on the

00:51:28.219 --> 00:51:31.800
front porch every morning. Every morning when

00:51:31.800 --> 00:51:34.260
we come back from the gym. Because you go and

00:51:34.260 --> 00:51:37.059
shut the water off for the sprinkler. I wait

00:51:37.059 --> 00:51:38.900
for you on the porch every morning because I'm

00:51:38.900 --> 00:51:44.739
waiting for you to go in. Every morning. Without

00:51:44.739 --> 00:51:48.219
failure. It's a thing. That's just the way in

00:51:48.219 --> 00:51:51.480
my mind. I'm supposed to be, I'm supposed to

00:51:51.480 --> 00:51:53.920
follow behind you. Right. Right. He just like

00:51:53.920 --> 00:51:57.199
me walking on one side or the other. Yeah. You're

00:51:57.199 --> 00:51:59.639
close. I'm closest to the street. I don't like

00:51:59.639 --> 00:52:01.440
you. I don't like, I feel uncomfortable when

00:52:01.440 --> 00:52:05.760
that's like that and I'll move you. I have to,

00:52:05.980 --> 00:52:09.159
but that's the thing. And then what's everybody

00:52:09.159 --> 00:52:11.039
needs to stop being so serious about some things.

00:52:11.059 --> 00:52:13.699
Like I understand. Look, Terry, you're one of

00:52:13.699 --> 00:52:17.119
the most strong people I know period. You are

00:52:17.119 --> 00:52:20.519
no different than me. Right. You have a power

00:52:20.519 --> 00:52:24.719
within you that is very valiant and admirable.

00:52:25.260 --> 00:52:31.260
It is. However, know your role. Know your role.

00:52:31.699 --> 00:52:35.219
My role is to be a man, right? And that's how

00:52:35.219 --> 00:52:38.780
I feel. It's not a negative towards women. It's

00:52:38.780 --> 00:52:41.519
not a negative towards anybody. I'm just being

00:52:41.519 --> 00:52:45.780
a nice person. Why is that wrong? It's not wrong.

00:52:46.329 --> 00:52:48.630
And I have a hard time if a woman holds a door

00:52:48.630 --> 00:52:51.530
open for me It's not because she's a woman. It's

00:52:51.530 --> 00:52:53.750
just it well I mean it is but it's not that it's

00:52:53.750 --> 00:52:57.610
a principle matter, right? It's because I'm supposed

00:52:57.610 --> 00:52:59.909
to hold the door open for you. I'm supposed to

00:52:59.909 --> 00:53:03.050
let you in first I get it because I am Supposed

00:53:03.050 --> 00:53:05.090
if something happens from the back, it's gonna

00:53:05.090 --> 00:53:07.349
happen from your back not from your front I get

00:53:07.349 --> 00:53:09.690
it right. I don't know. It's just the way it

00:53:09.690 --> 00:53:12.789
is But it's okay to let someone just like just

00:53:12.789 --> 00:53:14.969
telling you, you know giving you a compliment

00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:18.320
I've been working on that. I know but it's okay

00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:27.940
for us to hold a door over you do I've tried

00:53:27.940 --> 00:53:31.760
I can't I will say that like if you're on opposite

00:53:31.760 --> 00:53:34.420
sides of a door Right, like I'm coming towards

00:53:34.420 --> 00:53:35.940
it. We're both coming in the door at the same

00:53:35.940 --> 00:53:39.219
time. Mm -hmm, and they haven't opened the door

00:53:39.219 --> 00:53:42.019
I'll go through but it's like we're both coming

00:53:42.019 --> 00:53:44.909
from the same direction. Yeah, okay I won't.

00:53:45.110 --> 00:53:47.889
I can't. I can't. I just have to. No, go ahead.

00:53:48.369 --> 00:53:50.429
It's just the polite thing to do. It's just the

00:53:50.429 --> 00:53:54.730
polite thing to do. Say something funny. Okay.

00:53:54.809 --> 00:53:58.050
Here we go. So school is coming back. This is

00:53:58.050 --> 00:54:04.869
a teacher joke. You redhead. I do. I am. See

00:54:04.869 --> 00:54:10.469
what's teaching a crash course. See what's teaching

00:54:10.469 --> 00:54:16.789
a crash course. She was teaching a crash course.

00:54:16.849 --> 00:54:23.710
She was teaching a crash course, okay. I'm about

00:54:23.710 --> 00:54:27.550
to say something very sexist. Why did teachers

00:54:27.550 --> 00:54:35.949
wear helmets to class? She was teaching a crash

00:54:35.949 --> 00:54:39.570
course. Alright, I guess I could get with that.

00:54:45.800 --> 00:54:52.019
Oscar Wilde. Okay. People are like books. Some

00:54:52.019 --> 00:54:55.760
deceive you with their cover. Others surprise

00:54:55.760 --> 00:55:00.719
you with their content. Now what's on the insides?

00:55:00.780 --> 00:55:03.059
What on the outsides? What's on the insides?

00:55:03.059 --> 00:55:06.679
That's right. Yeah, some people don't always

00:55:06.679 --> 00:55:09.340
judge a book by its cover. That's right. Some

00:55:09.340 --> 00:55:12.079
people present something very nice on the outside,

00:55:12.599 --> 00:55:15.639
but what's inside is dark and foul. and others

00:55:15.639 --> 00:55:21.739
are carrying nuggets of wisdom and truth that

00:55:21.739 --> 00:55:24.719
you choose not to accept because they don't have

00:55:24.719 --> 00:55:28.980
the right cover, right? So, interesting. It's

00:55:28.980 --> 00:55:33.820
funny because it's like a guy at the bar, great

00:55:33.820 --> 00:55:36.719
person, 11, but you would never guess he was

00:55:36.719 --> 00:55:39.579
a pastor's kid. He could tell you to book from

00:55:39.579 --> 00:55:43.079
the front to the cover. Ah. His name was Jerry,

00:55:43.079 --> 00:55:46.639
and he's not gonna lie to you, he could tell

00:55:46.639 --> 00:55:51.380
you anything. Yeah, 100%, yep. I was just like,

00:55:51.539 --> 00:55:53.559
because I'm a pastor's kid, and I was like, whoa,

00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:59.599
okay. Really? All righty, okay, okay. But you

00:55:59.599 --> 00:56:01.820
know what? Great man though, loved him to death.

00:56:01.860 --> 00:56:04.760
Yeah, he's no longer with us, right? No, sir.

00:56:06.559 --> 00:56:09.340
That always stinks. It stinks, but you know.

00:56:10.059 --> 00:56:16.170
By the time This episode hits the airwaves. It

00:56:16.170 --> 00:56:18.849
will be past your surgery. I'm being a neck brace.

00:56:19.389 --> 00:56:22.570
Next time y 'all see me, I'm being a neck brace

00:56:22.570 --> 00:56:25.650
doing podcasts. I'm going to go ahead and just

00:56:25.650 --> 00:56:28.670
speak life into it. The surgery is going to go

00:56:28.670 --> 00:56:32.170
fantastic the next time we talk about it. You're

00:56:32.170 --> 00:56:36.309
going to feel a million times better. It's going

00:56:36.309 --> 00:56:38.650
to be a hundred percent worth it. God has already

00:56:38.650 --> 00:56:41.639
ordained it to make you be. not only feel better,

00:56:41.739 --> 00:56:46.079
but be better. Yes. And, uh, man, we, we just,

00:56:46.300 --> 00:56:49.619
I just love doing this. I, you know, I do. I

00:56:49.619 --> 00:56:53.480
love it too. Enjoy it. I know it's, uh, it's

00:56:53.480 --> 00:56:56.260
not for everybody and that's okay. We do it for

00:56:56.260 --> 00:56:59.519
everybody. Our goal is to create the world's

00:56:59.519 --> 00:57:02.420
largest small group, which I guess is not a small

00:57:02.420 --> 00:57:05.380
group at that point, but we want to have a conversation.

00:57:06.019 --> 00:57:08.780
We wanna have an opportunity to love on people

00:57:08.780 --> 00:57:11.059
and to pray with people and to come into agreement

00:57:11.059 --> 00:57:14.199
with them on all different types of topics. We're

00:57:14.199 --> 00:57:16.880
willing to have any conversation you want. I

00:57:16.880 --> 00:57:19.400
don't shy away from anything, but I'm not gonna

00:57:19.400 --> 00:57:21.699
have opinion -based conversations. It's gonna

00:57:21.699 --> 00:57:28.260
be facts and truth. And man, if you want to,

00:57:28.460 --> 00:57:32.500
come along with us. We'd love to have you. For

00:57:32.500 --> 00:57:35.949
Bumper Sticker Wisdom, I'm John. I'm Terry. Welcome

00:57:35.949 --> 00:57:36.929
to our new studio.