Trust God for You, Too

0:00 Don't be misled. You cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let us not get tired of doing what is good, for at just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing. If we don't, give up.

1:06 Hello everyone, welcome to Bumper Sticker Wisdom. I'm John. I'm Terry. I almost had a massive boo -boo there. You did. But I actually had the mic shut down before I did that. You recovered. Welcome guys, glad to have you for episode 145. We're creeping up on the 150 mark, another milestone in the history of Bumper Sticker Wisdom. Before we get going, I will say a quick prayer and then we'll... get the fireworks started. Heavenly Father, we thank you for giving us this time and this opportunity and the means and the freedom. Father, we thank you that your Holy Spirit is here. We ask that you inhabit the space and inhabit our hearts and our minds and allow whatever it is that comes out of our mouths to be filled and anointed for the people that are listening right now. So Father, we just ask that whoever chooses to take this time, that we have something for them that will fill them and that will Give them a motivation to steer in your direction and to seek you, Father. We love you. We thank you for your goodness, mercy, and grace. And it's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. She's mad at me today. Yes, I am. Sorry. You'll be all right. I'm not going to apologize again.

2:26 I've already done it three times. I'm not asking you to apologize. Well, you want to let them into our world, I guess. Not you again. I didn't bring it up. You did. It's the chemistry right now. The chemistry's all off because you're all, like, irritated with me for whatever reason. I'm not irritated. I'm over it. Get over it. Your body language says otherwise. I'm trying to sit differently. Why? Because I don't like the way you sit in the camera because I feel like my... My streak's here. Yeah, I just... I can never sit perfectly. Look at this and then look at you and worry about... Well, your head matches your body. Mine does not. How is that?

3:13 What do you mean your head doesn't match your body? It just doesn't. It just doesn't. My head is big and round. You can hide all these spots on my face. I hate to tell you this, but you have spots on your face. I know. There's nothing to hide. I probably should use sunblock, and I never did. It's too late now. It's way too late now. You're beautiful the way you are, so I don't know why you're worried about it. Thank you. Why are you worried about it? I don't know. Well, they might care, but it doesn't matter. I don't care what they think. Okay, then. Who do you care? I care what I think. I think I care.

3:54 Why do you care, though? I just do. We're moving on. How was your day? It was good up until the last 30 minutes or so. No, it was okay. It was just work, you know what I mean? It's been a long few weeks. Yeah, you got the food show coming up. Oh, yeah. That's next week. It's just been, you know, a lot going on with work and with even at home and, you know, kind of the safety zone in our life where we kind of have a little bit of time where we're not required to do anything. It's not been like that for the last few weeks. And, you know, it's okay. It's just this happens at times, and I always get frustrated by it, and you know it. Just too busy is too busy. It's too busy, yeah. It's like, you know, last Saturday it was, you know, you had to work, and then it was a baby shower, and then it was a charity event for the park, which, you know, if you guys haven't ever heard of it, go check out the Panhandle Adult Rebuilding Center. It's awesome. It's got a new building. It's awesome. They are changing people's lives, homeless people's lives, and giving them a purpose and a place. It's an inspiration to be a part of and to be invited to. But other than that, it's been a lot. We have a free weekend

5:26 this weekend -ish, and then next week it's a wedding. It's OU Longhorns. That's this weekend. This weekend. We recorded about that last weekend because OU still sucks, no matter what happened in that game. It doesn't. But yeah, it's just been one of those kind of situations where it's just like kind of wall to wall. And times like that, I get a little bared down and bogged down mentally and emotionally. I feel like I'm trying to handle it well, and I don't know that I always do, obviously. Yeah, it's kind of been, that's just really all. It's just kind of been a lot lately. Did you get my text messages today about?

6:10 Hudson's birthday party. And yet another thing on the list. It's actually Halloween. Which is okay. That's fine. I'm excited. They're like, oh, costumes are required. And, of course, I was like, nothing scary. And then my sister goes, nothing. Which sister? Renee. Okay. The older sister. You're the oldest sister. She's the older of the two sisters. I'll just say, nothing slutty. And I was like, okay. That wouldn't have nothing to do with me. Wow. You made me spit my drink, dude. Sorry. That's okay. Physical comedy on bumper sticker wisdom today. So I was like, okay.

6:54 I mean, you know, because I'm not a big Halloween person. I don't like Halloween. I don't like anything scary. It just doesn't bring anything, you know. I think that. I think there's a level of it that you actually like. I mean, you like the kid version of Halloween. Yes. You know, with the hocus pocus and things like that. But some of that stuff's scary, too, in a way. I think that it's the, you know, I don't know. You like vampires and werewolves and stuff like that. Yeah, but nothing like, you know, nothing, you know, scary. It's really the creepy. Yes. Unrelenting. serial killer. Yes. Slasher movie.

7:39 Yes. Stuff that you don't like. You don't like screams comedy to me. That one's not even that scary, but it's, it's, you know, it's, it's Jason, it's Michael Myers. It's those things, you know, and it's, it's really just the creepiness of it. And just, yeah, you can't get rid of them. She put on his little, um, I don't know if y 'all people know I'm a big mower. She put on his little list thing of whatever. And he has a mower on there. Oh, for his birthday? Yes. Oh, that's cute. I was like, oh. And then I kept looking. I was like, oh, there's a weed eater. And then a little blower. And I was like. That's cute. Yeah, that's cute. But it was cute. There was some little goggles that came. I was like, I don't know which one. You know, so it was cute.

8:21 My first blood grandbaby is coming in the next month or so. I think it was the 16th, she said. Somewhere in that range, yeah. You know, I'm excited. What was her name again? Because I didn't. Okay, so, and the reason it sounds like that is because it is that, but it's Aurelia, which is like Marcus Aurelius. But it's like the female version of Aurelius. And so I asked about it. I was like, that sounds very Marcus Aurelius. And he's like. Yeah. I was like, oh, okay, perfect. I guess I figured that out. But I think it's very whimsical. It's cute. You know, it's an interesting name. I mean, names nowadays are just so, you know, which is cool. I mean, I like it. I will never remember. They want to call her Ellie. Oh, okay. I can do that. So it's Aurelia Mae, and short will be Ellie Mae, which is cool.

9:21 That's cute. I'm excited for it. I love it already. You know, just pray that I can be a member of the family, you know what I mean? Or a part of the circle and have some level of influence. You know what I mean? That's it. you know, I'm not a parent anymore. Well, I'm still, obviously I'm still a parent, but I'm not raising children anymore. That's not my job. So I can't mess it up too bad. That's your job. Your job is to raise it, not mine. So, you know, that's cool. And I'm excited for that. You know, I really am. Obviously, you know, when you get into introspectively and, you know, reflectively, you start to think about like, obviously I've never really thought very highly of myself as a parent. You know what I mean? Like it's pretty clear if anybody's ever really listened to the podcast and stuff like that. Like I'm very, very aware of my shortcomings as a person and my shortcomings as a parent and all that kind of stuff. But, you know, I think that as a, you always hope beyond all hope that any good parent or decent parent just. begs and prays that your children are better than you were absolutely you know and uh i think without question uh seth will be a better father than

10:54 i was i think he's far more patient and yeah uh i think anyway i don't know he's never had kids this will be his first one you know and i was a jacked up teenager when i had kids i mean he's a little older than you were when yeah he's 28 yes 28? Yes, you were, what, 17? So, I mean, there's a little difference. There's a little, I mean, so. I was 17 with tons of emotional barbed wire. You know, so. I'm still working through that. So, I'm just saying, you know, there's a difference. Yeah, for sure. Well, and that's important, though. That's an important distinction. And it's, you know, good. That means his life is different than mine, right? Well, and your parents, I mean, you, I mean, his parents are. Y 'all still get along. Y 'all still talk.

11:41 Yeah. We still have, you know, like this baby shower, we were all together. Like, you know, we do Christmas. Okay, you're doing this time. We are very, you know, it's nice. They don't have this bickering and fighting. Yeah. It's never been like that. They've never had that, ever. Never had that, that. You know what I'm saying? So that's good. Yeah. You know? I've always said that I've been. Sorry. It's your traditional conversation call. Just go with it. You know, I've always been very open. I feel like my situation has always been, I'm pretty blessed to have had the situation I had as far as our divorce and things like that. You know what I mean? When this woman came to our table and signed y 'all's divorce papers. Yeah, I didn't have to go through a lot of the things that other.

12:45 It's okay. I didn't have to go through a lot of the other things or the things that some people do. There's a lot of horror stories out there for both men and women. I didn't have that. I was pretty fortunate in that. We always tried to get along and just try to do what was best for them. So it's a great lady. Ultimately, was it always the best for them? Probably not. But we tried. You know what I mean? Gave it the best we could. But again, you know, I don't give myself any excuses. Just because I was a messed up teenager whenever I started having kids, it doesn't give me any excuse to have been a terrible person or a bad person. You know what I mean? The decisions I made put me in that situation. They didn't ask to be there. You know what I mean? ultimately they were and I tried very hard to always be present and always love them and then also to a fault tried to give them their space and I think that caused some problems for their future because I wasn't a little bit of a I wasn't real overbearing you know what I mean I kind of let them be them you know what I mean uh unlike my parents and or like my mom and stepdad anyway I don't know I just I think that might have been a bit of a detriment. But ultimately, they didn't do the things that I did. You know what I mean?

14:16 From the time I was 12, I was drinking. Yeah. You know what I mean? My mom was giving me alcohol and things like that. My kids were like, I'm not ever doing that. And they didn't do it. They got a lot older, but you know. Yeah, mine either. 13, 14 is whenever. I started smoking weed with my mom. You know what I'm saying? Think about that. You know what I mean? I never really did it, but she always wanted to give me pills. I wouldn't take them. I've never been a pill person. I don't like them. I don't know why. I've always just kind of been real kind of timid by that. Yeah, it would. Yeah. I don't know. From my experience and from what I've witnessed, yeah, it's a pretty dangerous game. You know what I mean? So anyway, I'm not trying to, I don't, I don't even know why we're talking about all that. It just is what it's just kind of part how the conversation has flowed. It's just about having busy lives and our lives are busy and there are, you know, I think what I want to say coming out of all of that is like, that's only a fraction of the things, but look what God has done. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think that's what I feel and what I think whenever, Whenever somebody were to ask, if somebody were to ask me why, you know what I mean? Why do you choose to believe God? Why do you choose to believe that there

15:47 even is a God? And yeah, a simple, rational person can think a hundred ways, a hundred million ways of why a good and loving God wouldn't allow such things to happen. But I think a good and loving God won't force you anything. How does it make you feel when people, you know. When people question my faith? It doesn't make me happy. Yeah. But I'm not supposed to act in anger. And I'm supposed to act with love. Yeah. It's hard sometimes. Most of the time I try to respond with, it's okay. I've been struggling with people like, it's been my challenge. the week or last week, like, struggling with people, like, where are you at? Like, why? Like, what do you not understand?

16:49 Like, you should be way closer than I should be. Yeah. And I don't understand why you're not. I guess because I feel like I'm not as, I don't feel like I'm far, but I'm farther than them. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, but I don't feel like I'm that far. I'm not sure where I should be. You know what I'm saying? But I am. I'm farther than they are. I think that we all do that, but I also think that playing the distance and the measuring stick game is a dangerous game to play. Because if you really want to pull out the measuring stick as far as where we all are on the path, all of us are at the bottom, truthfully. There's only one who's at the top, and that's Christ, right? And that's who we rely on. And so we really have to be cautious about trying to... pull out our measuring stick and be like, Hey, look how far I am because that leans into judgment. If you get that, if you start to do that, it's not what I'm saying is what I'm saying. Yeah. I understand. You know, like you, you start to question. Okay. Like you're, or you go like this. Okay. Let's just say it like this. Like, okay. You look at somebody who you view as an upright type of person and they're struggling with a specific type of issue or they're kind of questioning or doubting. And you go, wait a minute. You're I'm. Just me. You're way up here. You know what I mean? Then you start to get this comparison bias. Because truthfully,

18:22 we can't compare each other's walks. You can't, right? We all struggle with what we struggle with. All of our struggles don't look the same. You know what I mean? They don't. They just don't. They don't. You know what I mean? It's just hard because I'm just like, when I look at myself, because I look at myself and I'm thinking, you know, It's just crazy when I see myself because I feel like I'm not where I should be, but I am actually where I'm supposed to be. I am exactly where God meant me to be. You know, I am where I'm supposed to be. I think my biggest struggle, and I don't even know if it's a struggle, but roadblock in life is I have zero doubt in the goodness of God. I have zero doubt that Christ.

19:12 was the son of god he died and he rose again to pay the penalty for a debt that i can't pay yeah and i choose very much every day to allow him to do that for me but i don't i don't feel like i belong you know what i mean i have an i don't know if that's i don't know if that's the same thing as like imposter syndrome or whatever where it's like i've as genuine as my love and affection and belief in Jesus are, I feel like a fake and a phony when I'm here or when I'm at the church and things like that. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. It's hard for me. And I don't think that that's anybody's fault. I don't think that that's any person's fault. I just feel like I don't belong here. I don't belong in front of these people talking about relationship with Christ. I don't belong. You know what I mean? Trying to teach kids on Sunday. I don't belong. Your message was so good on Sundays with the kids because I was just like, and I want you to know I applaud you and I applaud everybody that goes into elementary. I really do. I applaud you and you all do a great job in elementary.

20:34 I wanted to pull my hair. I'm surprised I even have hair when I came out of elementary Sunday. But I got a compliment from a young man. I was giving him a hard time being on the phone. He goes, you know what? You did a good job. And I was like. Excuse me? What? He goes, they actually listen to you. And I said, yeah. He goes, I'm not going in there. And you're not going to sit here and run around and do whatever. And he goes, they actually listen to you. Like they would look at you and go, they were just kind of scared of you. I don't want them to be scared of me, but I want you to listen to the message. And the whole, you know, planting seeds and interacting with them. And they were doing really good with it. I was happy. They did really good. I had one that was uncomfortable. It was difficult.

21:17 It's not something that I'm equipped to respond to, but I tried very hard to respond in the best way I knew how. Was it a little girl? Yeah. Because I said, I talked about how do we plant seeds in people? And it's by loving others. And God's word said, or Christ specifically said, the greatest command is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and body, and then love yourself. I love others as you love yourself. And I said, how much do you love yourself? Right. And I, the obvious answer I was looking for was the high number, you know what I mean? On a scale of one to 10, some would say eight, some would say 10, some would say nine. And then you got some smart ass kids that are like a million, a trillion. Yeah, of course. And then, and then you have some, that'll be like one. And they're just, again, they're just being a smart, you can tell who's being a smart ass. Honestly, I would have told you, I would have told you five.

22:10 Cause I don't, I mean, I don't, love myself as much as I love everybody else. Yeah. And that's a problem. Yeah, it is a problem. It's a problem for me too. So, but yes. And I felt very, it felt, it hurt my heart because she said six and I said, why so low? And she started to cry. Right. And I knew in that moment that that's, this is serious. And she said, sometimes I don't, I feel like I hate myself. And I said, okay, well let me talk to you after. Okay, let me finish what I'm doing. So I was like, come over here and sit with me. So no one stares at you. And of course, the little girl was like, turn around. I'm going to poke your eyeballs out. Yeah. All those girls are like. You had the row of pointer sisters. I was like, turn around. And they're like, I said, I will poke you in your eye. And of course, Neely, because Nora's like, she will poke you in the eye. She will poke you in the eye. I said, I will. Of course, Nora's just like.

23:06 I can't. Never. She just. And I didn't. That's not something I'm equipped for, and I probably. You did a great job, though. I probably should have told. You should have just moved on. Well, no. I should have told the leader. I should have told the. Technically, when something like that happens, you're supposed to tell. You know what I mean? Because that's a big deal when they say things like that. You've got to take that seriously. And I technically should have said something, but she said, I don't want my mom to get mad at me, and I didn't want to say anything. Oh, okay. So I was like, okay, look, your mom's not going to get mad at you. Just talk to me when we're done, okay? Just, it's okay. You're loved.

23:48 You're safe. And she's only, what, probably? Maybe eight or nine. I don't know. I don't, yeah. Also, because, you know, like I said, I would have said five, because. Yeah. Well, we're adults, and we're full of adult crap, right? I've never really loved myself either, you know? Okay. That's a fair question. How do we correct that? I keep trying to tell myself I'm enough, that God loves me for where I'm at, and how much I should love Thelma. I love her to death. And she tells me all the time that God talks to her all the time about. how much he loves me and yeah she always is always like oh god talk to me dear about you and i'm like i'm glad you and god talk about me he's talking to me he's talking to me but not about me he probably does talk to me and i'm just probably ignoring him and i probably that's a bad thing yeah and we probably shouldn't ignore his call and he probably does talk to me a lot more and i probably need to stop and listen yeah I will tell you that I think that our best combat, our best defense against the lies and accusations of the enemy, because it's exactly what those are, is to know what God's word says about us. God's word doesn't say that we are, okay. God's word doesn't say that we're

25:23 not beautiful. God created man, and when he created man, he saw that it was good. And we're all created in the same image, which means we are good. We all look at ourselves and say, you know, I'm fat. I have spots on my face, you know, whatever the case may be. I'm missing teeth, whatever. You know what I mean? And the truth of the matter is, and I haven't cared for my body properly. You know what I'm saying? And so, like you said, I should have put sunscreen on, right? I haven't taken care of my body properly. But at the end of the day, I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God, in the image of the Most High Creator. Who are we to question how He sees us, right? I think that we have to channel ourselves into His vision. Rather than looking at ourselves through our own eyes. Because our eyes are lying.

26:24 You know why? They are filled with the world. And the world hates you. Because the world. Everything here is your flesh. Your eyeballs are your flesh too. Everything is your flesh. Your mind is your perception. It's the flesh. And guess whose world that is? It's the enemy's. Yeah. You know what I mean? He says you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. He says that you are. Your sin is driven white as the driven snow. You know what I mean? I will look on them and remember their sin no more. You know what I'm saying? You're the head and not the tail, above and not below. You're more than a conqueror. It's just like you. One of those things that why do we look at ourselves and be like, you're a piece of crap. You're ugly. It's just funny because, you know, I can tell someone all the time. Oh, I know, right? It's just like, oh, no, you're so beautiful. You're this, you're that. And then I look at myself and I'm like. Look at this piece of crap. You know, I'm just saying, you know what I'm saying? But like our tongue is the same thing coming out for people. Your tongue is the same thing for yourself. Yep. And the more you say those things out loud about yourself. Yep.

27:37 Trust me. The more you're going to believe those things. Trust me. Who's hearing yourself? You, you, you know, so when you're speaking words over others, you're hearing that when you're speaking words over yourself, you're hearing that too. And so you're basically, even though you're not necessarily saying it to yourself, even sometimes you're saying it to yourself, whether you like it or not. And again, who are we to question God? Who are we? Who are you? You know what I mean? Who told you that? That's, I love that line. Whenever Adam's like Adam and Eve were like, we're naked. And so we hid. Who told you that? You know what I mean? Who even told you that? How'd you know you're naked? Because five minutes ago, you didn't even know. No, yeah.

28:22 You know, it's the same. And we have been living in this world for so long. People, humanity has been living in this world for so long. It's so jacked up that we're just stuck in the lies, you know? Yeah. And I think that the more. this is a, it's scary to me because it gets a little discouraging because it makes me feel that's the kind of stuff that makes you start to feel like there's no hope. There is hope in Christ playing drums over here. There is hope in Christ. Right. And if we want to change our perspective on ourselves, we have to trust him. Yes. I don't know that I can go. I don't know that I can say anything else to that. Yeah. In order for us to. look on ourselves with a better self -image to have a better self -esteem, we have to trust him. And we can't just trust him for others.

29:23 Right. We got to trust him for us too. Right. Yeah. You know, and it's not selfish. Look, it is not selfish to expect God to fulfill his promises for you. Right. We feel like it's selfish. Yeah. It's not. Those promises are for you too. You know? Yeah. They're for all of us. Right. And I just think that it's it's one of the most beautiful things in all of it is that we don't rely on ourselves. Yeah. Right. I can't look at myself and go, I can do it. I can do all things. No. Right. Through Christ. Yeah. Right. All things are possible with him, not with me. Because with John, a lot of things break down. Yeah, I totally understand that. You know what I'm saying? A lot of failures happen with John. If John's at the controls, I'm messing it up a lot. Come on.

30:24 You know when you first took your training pills off and you got going down that one hill? Oh, yeah, I know. I don't think I've ever had training pills. I know I didn't have training wheels. My parents were not. If I had training wheels or not, I don't remember. I probably had a bike that had training wheels when I was very young. I don't know, though. Okay. I'll lie to you. I had a tricycle. A little different than training wheels. A little different, yeah. It's not as big as a bike. Yeah. I had a tricycle, but I didn't have a bike with training wheels. We didn't, you know. If we did, I was probably too young, I remember. The bike that I learned to ride with no training wheels, the bike that I learned to ride. You don't know why my calves are so big?

31:05 Because you didn't have no brakes. No, I was the only kid in the neighborhood that could pedal that bike. No one else could pedal the dang thing. I don't know what or how or why. These pedals were so stinking. The crank was so stinking hard to pedal. That's the one I learned to ride on. I think that's why my calves are so big. Then why are Travis's so big? Same way? He's just weird. He's got weird shaped calves. He's got tiny ankles and giant calves. I don't know why his are like that. I don't know. I don't either. I don't know. I'm just kidding. But it's probably not. I think we're naturally just kind of our family. Your sister don't have big calves, does she? She's a little. She's tiny. Well, I mean, she's not as small as my mom, but she's pretty small. You know what I mean? So, no, not really.

32:03 But for such a small person, she has good calves, you know, good legs. You know what I mean? But I think we all just kind of, I don't know. It's just a trait we have. Good calves. Good calves. Not a good brain. Not rich. None of that. We got nice calves. You've got a lot of compliments on those. I have. You have. I'm not scared. I'm like, hey, hey, hey. That's my man. How you get them calves? Walking. Is that or your butt one of the two? I don't get a lot of compliments about that anymore. I did when I was younger. No, we were married. You had a lot of compliments on your butt. Since when? Who? You? That black lady walked into the store. She goes, oh, you have a nice butt. And I was like. She said calves.

32:52 No. She said your butt. I heard her. And then she moved to calves. And I was like, what? She goes, calves. I was like, eh. Yeah. I don't recall this part. Because I was right behind you, right in front of you. I don't remember what it was. I don't recall this. And I was like. I don't recall this. I was like. I turned around and looked and I was like. She goes, his calves. I was like, okay. That's not what you said. Sorry. I didn't do it. I didn't ask her, hey, look at my butt. How's it look? That's all the pictures nowadays. Oh, I know. I don't know what it is with the tongue out thing. I don't get that.

33:39 I took a picture of Bonnie today. She's talking. I was like, what? Did you have candy today? She goes, no. I took a drink in my mom's water. It's green. Oh, she had a green tongue. She had a green tongue. It was a blue tongue. I was like, girl. She goes, it was green. I said, it's blue. She goes, oh, blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. Funny. So anyway, that's much ado about nothing. We're all over the place. I know. It's okay. It's the evening. So I was thinking about, and actually, what? That's mine. It's been in there two weeks. I'm sorry. It's fair game. It doesn't matter.

34:19 It's mine now. Jerk. It smells like weed. Damn. They all smell like that. I don't know why. Anyway, somebody came in my office because we were talking about the Holy Spirit. Not the episode that just came out last week. It's the one before that. Before the tent revival, so think about leading up to the tent revival when pastors started talking about the Holy Spirit. speaking in tongues and things like that. And he was talking about the spirit, meaning like breath, the breath of God.

35:02 And I found it interesting because we started talking about it. He and I started talking about it. And he was like, you know, my pastor talks about how God's name sounds like breathing. And I was like, yeah, I've heard about that before. And it's almost, it's very poetic in the way you think about it. If you think about. spirit being like breath it's like a breath it's like a wind it's a movement you know what i mean it's an active living kind of thing and so as i was thinking about it i had remember seeing this uh this person he's a i think he's a doctor uh talking about uh how to pronounce Yahweh, or the Y -H -W -H, which is how you technically spell it, not the Y -A -H -W -E -H. That's not how it's spelled. It's actually spelled Y -H -W -H. And I thought it was interesting, and I just wanted to play the video real fast so you can understand. Don't mute, mute, mute. It's already mute, mute, muted. How do you pronounce Y -H -W -H when there is no vowels to say it correctly? You don't use your tongue and you can't close your lips. So his name imitates the natural act of breathing. So this is how YHWH

36:36 sounds like. Can you imagine the first word you have ever spoken when you came out of your mother's womb was the personal name of God. And the last word you'll ever speak in this life will be the name of God. You will leave this earth where his name no longer fills your lungs. That's an interesting thought, right? It gives a whole new meaning to God breathing life into Adam.

37:18 Yes, but it's funny because it's just like Richie was talking about, you know, the Holy Spirit being just... Like the wind or, you know, it's just... Being a breath. Breath. Yeah, yeah. That's 100%. And it really kind of, it brings a little bit of a context and a little bit of a connection to... I'm sorry. I don't understand why I always have to be under the air conditioning. Sorry, I'm chilly. Just know whenever it's wintertime, the heat will be blowing directly on you. I know, I'll be so excited. You're getting the breath of life. Yeah, the breath of life. But it's cool that it's like the Holy Spirit. Yeah, it's an interesting thought. Whether he's right or wrong doesn't matter, right? Right. It's a great concept, though. Think about it. Think about it. If, in fact, that is true, is saying God's name, you are doing that. All the time without even thinking about it. You are connected to God at all times,

38:49 constantly speaking his name, right? Don't take for granted. You know what I mean? And I had this person, I don't know what his total point was earlier. I started to watch this video. I didn't watch it all the way through, but he was talking about, I don't want to go too far on it because I really didn't pay attention to, I didn't listen to the whole thing. So I don't really know, but he was talking about. how we're told that we need to connect with God all the time. We need to be in his word and we need to, we need to spend time with him and all that kind of stuff. And he asked the question, he said, what if that's the biggest lie that we're being told? It just, his first thing was he went to a tree and he said, look at this tree. It is constantly connected to the father. It's constantly connected to its creator. But how much time does it set aside for it? Okay. Having said that, We're people and we overcomplicate our lives and fill our lives full of stuff that we need to reconnect with God. That's why. And so I didn't listen to his whole video, so I don't really know where he was going and I don't want to kind of get on that too far. But truth be told, I think that we separate ourselves from God by thinking that we're separated from him rather than understanding that we're constantly in connection with him. He's never left us. His word says that.

40:13 I've never left you. I'll never leave you. I'll never forsake you. I'm always right there. Just look right here. You know what I mean? Right here. I found it really interesting, the imaging. I know that she got Pastor Richie to use ChatGPT for the first time because the images that he put up were definitely from Chat. And it was knock. behold I am knocking on the door and that's Jesus right and then he showed the picture of what most of what the other side looks like people sitting in church on their phone and having a drink and yeah nose in the air and all that kind of stuff and like pretending like we don't have time for God that and that is why I think that we do need to find connection and time for him right and not that Not that we're not always connected to him because we are. Yeah. It's our minds that need to be renewed, right? It says, do not conform to the patterns of this world.

41:18 Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. How do you renew your mind without connecting with him? Right. Right? It's true. Without spending time in his presence, without taking the time to stop, slow down, stop thinking about the world and focus on him alone. Focus on your relationship with him alone. You know what I mean? I don't know. I find it really interesting because I think I want to find a way to take pressure off of the relationship and just be in relationship. Does that make sense? But we don't do that in our own personal relationships with people. You know what I mean? We apply so much pressure on our hopes, dreams, desires, you know. what makes me happy, what makes me not happy, you know what I mean? And it ends up causing more harm than good. At the end of the day, just grow. Just spend time with each other. Just learn how to provide what it is that each of you needs, but not only needs, wants. God wants to provide those things for you. God wants to give you what you want. He wants to give you that, but he wants you to not be so connected to this that that's unimportant to you. Right, yeah. That's true.

42:42 That's what I think. I don't think that at any point God is saying being wealthy, Christ is even saying being wealthy is a bad thing. Yeah. It's about where your heart is. Yeah, absolutely. Just like anything else. Yeah. If you're so connected to this, then I'm not important enough to you. Exactly. And I think that's what Christ was saying whenever he was calling. I don't remember his name now. Zacchaeus? Is it Zacchaeus? It was Zacchaeus, yes. The rich man. He's very wealthy, and he's like. Do you remember the kid's story? I don't. I don't. I didn't do that, really. Do you remember it? Yes, because he was in a tree.

43:27 Can you tell it? Like actually tell it? No, I just know the song. Zacchaeus was in a tree. He was a wee little man. That's all you got? That's all I know. I kissed, he was a wee little man. And he got told to come down. Dude, you know how long it's been since I rode a joy bus? That's something that I would love to do. That would be so cool to do, though. But you remember it. I do remember it. You know? It was, yeah. A wee little man, was he? So, anyway, I think it's at that point when he talks about it's harder for... easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich person to get into heaven. I don't think it's about the wealth. It's because as people accumulate things, money, wealth, power, they become attached to those things and those things become more important. That's the point. And that's why he wasn't telling Zacchaeus the things are bad.

44:30 He's telling something's wrong with you. In order for you to come with me, You got to leave all that behind. Yeah. It's not about the things. It's not about the money. The material things. It's about you. Yeah. It's about here. Yeah. Right. It's your heart. Sometimes it's a humbling fact, but it's sometimes I think that's why God kept me poor. Not poor, but not rich. I could be a rich person, but I would probably still, you know, I don't know if I would want a bigger house. I don't know if I'd want a better car. I don't need any of that. I would. I don't know. You know. Okay. Everybody's got those thoughts in their head, like if you ever won the lottery or, you know, what would you do? And, like, I don't know, man. Man, I would want to farm because I like animals. Yeah. But I think, to me, the first thing I start to go to is, like, what can I do for others? I'm the same way. What can I do for my family? I do that now. We do that now.

45:33 Buy property that they could have and all those kinds of things. At the end of the day, that's not going to help them. It gives them an out. It gives them a thing that they have, you know what I mean? But that's not going to help. But then I start to think about things like charitable stuff that we want to be involved in, like the park and the place and ways that we can help people that we truly need our help, you know what I mean? And how I can help my church and how I can help expand its ministries and how I can help our ministry and things like that, you know what I mean? Are they selfish endeavors on a level? Sure. But it's not really about selfishness. It's really about spreading the wealth and helping people. I would love to go take people off the streets, man. I would love to do that. You know what I mean? But it takes money, effort, and time. You can't do that crap for free. It's like, what was that one saying? Give a man a fish.

46:33 Yeah. Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. You know what I mean? I'd love to go help people like that. But I don't have time because I don't have the resources and the means. You know what I mean? I have to work all day to keep what we have going on. You know what I mean? And again, would I be a great rich person? I don't know. Maybe. I think I'd do a lot of great things. I think I could probably do some pretty bad things too. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? We can spend some money. I love sports, man. I love going to sporting events. I love doing those kinds of things. I don't know. I love music. I could do a lot of that kind of stuff and spend a ton of money doing it. But I don't know. I think if there was some sort of incredible life -changing situation like that that happened, I would probably...

47:38 Stop. Slow down. Hold up. Wait. Time out. Hold up. Before we do, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. It's like this one guy. I was watching TikTok, and there's this guy that won the lottery, and he worked contract or whatever, and he won the lottery, but he didn't want anybody to know he had money. He waited three days, so he did concrete or whatever, and they put a lot on him. He goes, well, I'm going to take off three days. Why three days? Why are you taking off three days? So he could go collect his money. Well, he finished his job. Well, we need you to do this. He goes, okay, I did this and this and gave him so much more that he couldn't take off this three -day. He wanted to take off a week. He goes, well, I'm going to take off three days. Well, what are you going to give this? Well, I gave this to this guy and this to this guy, but I'm going to make sure they're okay to do all these things, you know, to get all these things done. But he went down to the main office, and she goes, why?

48:36 Never told anybody he won money or anything like that. You know, they were very poor. Very, very poor. They lived in their means. You know what I'm saying? So when he won, you know, it was like now everybody knows who I am. Yeah, of course. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. People come out of the woodworks. Now everybody wants to know where I'm at, you know? Why did it take you three days to get your money? Why did you come down here three days? Because everybody will know who you are. and want your money and those type things, you know? Yeah. As soon as you got money, people come, people come. I'll say this. Uh, we established bumper sticker wisdom as a, it's a standalone as a business of its own. Uh, it's an LLC. As soon as we, I mean, as soon as the paperwork was filed, it's like the next day I got credit card applications and loan applications. And I'm like, yeah, bro, I don't have any. earning statements that we haven't earned a dime. How are you going to do that?

49:36 You know what I'm saying? Like, it's funny how quickly that stuff goes. You know what I mean? And, you know, I think I want, I want to take the stairs. You know what I mean? I want to, if we're going to grow this, I want it to grow. And like you said, I mean, I don't know if it was you talking or it was you and Jason talking about, you know, I want to gradually here, but I don't want to go from here just to go. Yeah, I don't want to take the elevator. I want to gradually go up. I go down a little bit. Okay, I'm coming down a little bit. And then gradually, okay, you know, and just keep going upward, you know. I think if you take the stairs, it takes longer to get there, but you stay there a lot longer. You stay on those higher levels a lot longer. That's a good point. It's a very good point. You know, if you've got 100 flights of stairs to climb. from 50 to 100 is a long way oh yeah but you're at 50 instead of zero exactly right and so you got a long time in between 50 and 100 and then once you get to 100 to come back down it's a slower progression and i think that that's the vision and and i was uh the reason i started today with the scripture that i started with was because it was shared with me uh this sunday with our pastor's wife and she's one of the youth or youth No, she doesn't work with you. No, she does not. Or children in general.

50:52 She's one of the worship leaders. She has a beautiful voice and a fantastic singer. But in all the years I've been there, I don't think she's ever maybe said a sentence or two to me personally. I know when I walked up, she was talking to you, and I was like, oh. Yeah, I mean, she'll come and say hi to me and things like that. we've talked in short conversation a time or two, but not very many. And she approached me and told me that she was thinking about me and praying for me. And I was like, I will take all the prayer you got any given time. And we give prayers.

51:34 If you need prayers. Yep. A hundred percent. And I felt really inspired because it, unless she had been listening to the podcast, which hadn't been released yet. God was truly speaking to her because she was talking to me about things that we truly have been talking about, about having my doubts about, you know, I'm not going to force, you know, thinking that I'm going to speak in tongues or have a prayer language or I'm not going to, you know, the whole giving thing and the thousand -fold blessing and all those kinds of things. And it was like, you know.

52:15 She said, I just kept hearing that you kind of have some doubts. Not that you doubt him, but you just have some doubts about his goodness and about how, you know. And she said, I feel like there's something that you are working for or working on that maybe you've thought about quitting a lot lately. And she said, I'm hearing that you got to don't do that. Don't do that. Don't quit. She said, Galatians 6, 9, when he said, let us not get tired of doing good for at the right time. At the proper time, we'll reap a harvest of good, a harvest of blessing.

52:56 And I've talked openly on here about having the thought that maybe I should just stop. Maybe I should give it up. But at the end of the day, we've said we're not going to do it. I said I don't want to get to the one and then quit. I don't want to fumble the ball at the goal line. Punch it in. Yeah. And it takes relentless effort, relentless commitment, a stubbornness, if you will, which is a strength of mine. It is. It's also a weakness. I saw this hat on TikTok and it says never give up in the cool hat. Never give up. Never give up. I'm not a give up person.

53:46 I don't quit. I will give up. In spirit at times, but you don't see me throwing the towel. No. Very often. I mean, it's happened a time or two, but I don't really just give up. I just don't. I just keep fighting. I just keep punching. I get my ass kicked a lot, but I just keep punching. And I feel like that's what this is. I've said before, I feel like this is a representation of my life in 100%. This is who you are. This is who I am. This is who you are. Yeah. Bumpers to good wisdom. This is who you are. This is who God says you are. This is what he sent to you, and you're going to make it happen. Just going to keep working. Yeah. And I'm right along with you. I know. Damn it. I know. You didn't marry the smart guy with a million bucks. You married the short, fat guy with a great beard.

54:44 With a great beard. I wasn't great when we started. But, hey, now look at us. I know. I know. It's crazy to believe that, or not even to believe, it's crazy to know that at this point now, I've been with you longer than I was with my first wife. You know what I mean? It's weird to think about. Because at one time, it was just like, that seemed like so far out. You know what I mean? It was such a distant thing. And now it's like, it doesn't seem like it's even been that long. Yeah. It's like, what? We're at 15? 15 years? It was 15 years, yeah. And we're working on 16 now. It's like... It seems longer. I'm sorry. Sting. Ouch, bro. I'm just kidding, babe.

55:31 I love you. I don't think you're kidding. I think you're dead -ass serious. What? What have I done so wrong to you? Paybacks. I'm just kidding. I'm just giving you a hard time. I love you. I'm all right. I'm not great. I'm not a great man. I'm not a great husband. Can I tell you something? I'm okay. Can I tell you something? Yeah. Will you quit talking about my best friend? Will you keep stop talking about my best friend like that? I didn't say anything ugly. I'm not saying anything ugly about myself. Well, you're speaking negatively about my friend. I was actually speaking positively of your friend. I said I'm a pretty good person. I'm not great. You are an awesome person. Well, thank you. I'm glad you feel that way. And you are perfect in my eyes. Okay. Sometimes. I'm just kidding. Perfectly annoying. We are meant to be together. We're weaved like we should be. We're equally yoked and we challenge each other a lot in a lot of different ways. Yes. You know, you've definitely, this doesn't exist without you, right? And the things that I do don't exist without you because you challenged me to be able to, and I have to tell you, stop pushing me. Stop. Pushing me.

57:01 I didn't push you. No, I know, but I have had to tell you, stop pushing me because you push me out. You're the one that I get to the boundary and you go. I do not. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you do. I do not. 1 ,000%. I do not do that, people. The first time I ever prayed in public, I didn't ask for it. She just walked up to me and said, hey, you're praying for these people. And I'm like, no, no. Oh, yeah, I did do that. And I have many other instances. I've only done it once. No. No. There's plenty of other things. But the thing is, though, your confidence in me and your vision and belief in me has helped me to embrace that to a point where I am capable and able and willing. Look, I'm not seeking it out. I'm not running up to people. Can I pray for you? Can I pray for you? Can I pray for you?

57:57 But if somebody comes to me and says, will you pray for me? without question I'll do it you know what I mean right then and there I'm not gonna shy away from that you know what I'm saying so yes this doesn't exist without the people that have come into my life at this point in my life right like Jason's support from the beginning yeah was a big deal like this wouldn't have started without him saying yes you know what I mean right or you totally believing in me or Brittany totally believing that I had a message or a mind to talk and help people. You know what I'm saying? So these things would not exist without the relationships that I have forged in my later life. You know what I'm saying? And so, yeah, that's God working through y 'all. You know what I mean? For me.

58:46 And I think, I think on some level, I don't want to let y 'all down. You know, I want to, we're all like that. Cause like I talked about today, you know, I'm for everybody else, but for myself, you know, I don't want to, Let anybody down either, you know? Yeah. You ain't let me down once. I know. Well, I appreciate that. It doesn't mean I haven't been upset or disappointed, but that doesn't mean you've let me down. You know what I mean? You haven't let me down. Not one time. Well, good. We have that on tape. I never said you let me down off of tape either. You haven't let me down. You know what I mean? You haven't.

59:31 And honestly, moments of difficulty or conflict, they're not evidence of the full reality, right? They're just an evidence of the current emotion. And yeah, I had a frustration that I needed you to hear because you refused to talk to me about it. You know what I mean? And the longer you refuse to talk to me about it, the more I stew over it and get frustrated by it. So, you know, at the end of the day, you know who I am. You know, I'm going to tell you how I feel. Yeah. I wish you wouldn't sometimes, but you know. Sorry. I can't help that. I really can't. I try not to. I really do. I have internal dialogue with myself about just drop it. Just leave it alone. It's not that big a deal. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. I cannot do it, dude. I can't.

1:00:25 I know. I try. But see, the problem is the longer I can, but the longer I do. the more it builds up and eventually I snap, right, or I blow up. I would rather just go ahead and get it out of the way than let it build, build, build, build so that there's pressure behind it and now I'm acting like a complete jackass because I don't want that. You know what I mean? I know who I am and I know how jacked up I can be. I know how mean I can be and mean -spirited. That's not who I am as a person, but it's in there. You know what I mean? I'm not a mean -spirited person as a person. But there is a mean spirit that's in there. And it will come out. And I try very hard to maintain what I need to maintain so it doesn't come out. Does that make sense?

1:01:12 So I'm very self -aware. I'm very aware of who I am and behaviors and the things that go on inside of my mind and all that kind of stuff. And I know it's frustrating for you because you and I are not the same people. But how do we get better if we don't? You know what I mean? Like, how can you possibly grow this relationship if we don't talk about that kind of stuff? I know. I get it. You know? I know it sucks. I know you don't like it. I don't. Sorry. Not sorry. We're in this thing together anyway. I know. I'm not going anywhere. I just don't want to talk about it. I'm just like. It's fine. Those will be the things that turn my heart to stone.

1:01:56 Give me a joke, girl. Okay. You ready for my joke? Yeah. Okay, answer first. What's your answer? Dawn. Dawn, D -O -N, D -A -W -N. D -A -W -N. Never mind, go ahead. What do you call a girl that gets up at sunrise every day? Dawn. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. So the sun, we call the sun.

1:02:45 Not a great one. I thought it was funny. Yeah, it's funny. Because it reminds me of me because I'm always up early. I was thinking the same thing. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I was like, then your name should be Dawn. Yeah, but it's not. It's Terry DeLeese. It should be Butt Ass Cracker Dawn. Right. I forgot to charge him. Boo. Boo. Boo. Bad production manager. I don't know. Sometimes, when I thumb through these looking for wisdom, I try to find something that makes sense to something we've talked about.

1:03:27 I don't know if this does or not. Just do it. It jumped out to me. It's Albert Einstein. It does make sense. Everyone knew it was impossible until a fool who didn't know came along and did it. You did it. Did it. One, four, five. 145 episodes today. Today. It's going to keep going, but we're not stopping. If it had never, if, if, if it never goes any further than it is right now, it's 145 episodes deep. That is 145 plus hours of content. There are so many, I think we've uploaded over a thousand videos. You know what I mean? Like there's been a ton of effort going into it, but it's not really about the effort. The effort is in trying to love people, to help. We want to be in conversation with you.

1:04:25 We want to pray with you. We want to encourage you. We'd love to be encouraged by you. Please find a way to reach out to us in any way, shape, or form. You've got the website. You've got the email. You know how to see us on Spotify, TikTok, and YouTube. Comment. We love you. We thank you for being here. See ya.